At 54 is there any hope for an actual career?

Spint

I know this is very long compared to others, so I completely understand if it seems too time consuming. I can only say it's a really big deal for me but hope I'm going the right way about it and find some folks who are kind and generous enough with their time to advise me.

After reading a lot of wisdom on this forum, I'm really hoping I can get my mind settled because I feel that I could spiral down into a deep depression, which happened to me about 17 years ago. I found a bottle of Diazepam the other day from that time ago and I'm taking half a tablet at the moment (they still work) to help me get to sleep if only for several hours. I don't want to tell my wife as I'd be ashamed but most importantly not to worry her and be disappointed in me.

I'm approaching 54 yet I've had no career, no private pension, nothing to show for apart from my lovely wife of nearly 15 years. I've had sporadic low paid jobs since COVID and before that a courier with a bit of administration and IT support. Now I find myself unemployed again.

I'll try to explain briefly what went wrong: I had always lacked severe confidence throughout my life. When I look back I can see how I must have looked to others: reliable, honest, funny and helpful but completely devoid of ambition on the surface. The plus side is that my wife saw only the positive qualities and chose me. She might be okay or content that I find another low paid job but now I feel so much more confident where I can pursue a career. It almost feels like some part of my brain has been switched on where I can even communicate better. I want to finish off my working life with a worthwhile career where I can say 'I was a…..'. Unfortunately it's also heightened my awareness of all the years I've wasted which just eats away at me constantly. Now at 54 I fear employers will be thinking I'm too old so it's going to be too hard to get my foot in the door of a career.

If you're still reading this, thank you for staying with me, I really, really appreciate it and apologies if it sounds like a hard luck story but I thought it was important to try and explain who I am first before asking and that is could anyone give me some advice or experiences on how realistic it would be to get a foot in the door at my age?

I believe at this stage (unless anyone can recommend another type of field perhaps?) I would be suited in the IT world, however, I am overwhelmed with the types of careers available within the IT industry. I believe I would be happy just sitting at a computer chugging away. I know that would be boring to others but I'm fine with it which makes me wonder if programming (I took an OU course on that but last century), software testing, software development is feasible to get into, but at my age? Of course, if I was in my twenties then I know it's possible, but now? As mentioned, I did a kind of IT support in the office with it not being my only job but under an IT manger. I was always interested in computers, building my own etc. I would prefer not to do IT support again but if that's the only realistic option then so be it.

To make it clear, I am not naïve in thinking it will be easy. I know this will take maximum commitment to learn and study almost passionately but what I'm terrified about is if it will be all in vain, and I should just stick to a low paid with no progression job instead. Ageism is real, I know you should be protected by law but it just happens. Does anyone know which areas are in demand and how feasible it is for me to get on the ladder?

I booked  a call but in a week's time to speak to a National Careers Service Advisor.I'm looking on YouTube for inspiration but it's hard to gauge how realistic it is for me because they're all young. I'm trying to build up weblinks that help people over 50, but it would be really nice to hear from anyone who has experiences with this and can advise.

My CV looks awful and I feel as if I need an expert to make one. I will need to begin to learn interview techniques to increase my chances and my confidence.

Again, thank you so much if you're still here reading and for any advice or experiences. I'm just trying all avenues now because I need some hope but if there isn't then please let me know without sugar coating anything. If I know I'm wasting my time then at least I can start to accept and hopefully cope with it.

 

Thank you.

Marcon

Spint said:

After reading a lot of wisdom on this forum, I'm really hoping I can get my mind settled because I feel that I could spiral down into a deep depression, which happened to me about 17 years ago. I found a bottle of Diazepam the other day from that time ago and I'm taking half a tablet at the moment (they still work) to help me get to sleep if only for several hours. I don't want to tell my wife as I'd be ashamed but most importantly not to worry her and be disappointed in me.

First off - Diazepam has a shelf life of around 5 years. It's not a great idea to keep, never mind take, tablets which are so many years out of date. There are other and better options to help you sleep, and a chat with your local pharmacist could yield dividends. If you've been happily married for 15 years (an achievement many would envy), there's a good chance your wife has an idea all is not well...

Spint said:

Now at 54 I fear employers will be thinking I'm too old so it's going to be too hard to get my foot in the door of a career.

If you're still reading this, thank you for staying with me, I really, really appreciate it and apologies if it sounds like a hard luck story but I thought it was important to try and explain who I am first before asking and that is could anyone give me some advice or experiences on how realistic it would be to get a foot in the door at my age?

Depends which door and how resilient your foot is! Forget the trite nonsense about age being just a number, you're as old as you feel and all the rest of it. Employers who want to employ younger staff will always find a way to do so and trotting off to claim age discrimination, even if it succeeds, is usually only a pyrrhic victory.

From what you've said, doing something - anything - to help build your confidence might be an excellent to enhance your chances. How physically fit are you - eating sensibly, exercising well etc (which in turn might help the sleep problem)? See if your local authority runs assertive courses; they are often short (maybe just a day) and for someone out of work, either free or heavily subsidised. They may also offer return to work, interview skills and other courses which would be of value to you.

You sound as if you are ready to embrace change (at least in theory - sometimes the actuality is much harder). An oldie but a goodie worth reading is Spencer Johnson's Who Moved My Cheese?

Spint said:

I believe at this stage (unless anyone can recommend another type of field perhaps?) I would be suited in the IT world, however, I am overwhelmed with the types of careers available within the IT industry. I believe I would be happy just sitting at a computer chugging away. I know that would be boring to others but I'm fine with it which makes me wonder if programming (I took an OU course on that but last century), software testing, software development is feasible to get into, but at my age? Of course, if I was in my twenties then I know it's possible, but now? As mentioned, I did a kind of IT support in the office with it not being my only job but under an IT manger. I was always interested in computers, building my own etc. I would prefer not to do IT support again but if that's the only realistic option then so be it.

Why? You don't sound that keen, or have any recent relevant experience or training, so why pursue something which could be just another dead end when you are ready to push yourself that bit harder and further.

Spint said:

To make it clear, I am not naïve in thinking it will be easy. I know this will take maximum commitment to learn and study almost passionately but what I'm terrified about is if it will be all in vain, and I should just stick to a low paid with no progression job instead. Ageism is real, I know you should be protected by law but it just happens. Does anyone know which areas are in demand and how feasible it is for me to get on the ladder?

I booked  a call but in a week's time to speak to a National Careers Service Advisor.I'm looking on YouTube for inspiration but it's hard to gauge how realistic it is for me because they're all young. I'm trying to build up weblinks that help people over 50, but it would be really nice to hear from anyone who has experiences with this and can advise.

My CV looks awful and I feel as if I need an expert to make one. I will need to begin to learn interview techniques to increase my chances and my confidence.

The areas in demand will be anything where there's a skill shortage, and you are as capable as anyone (yes, you are) of using google + local recruitment agencies and your local JobCentre to find out what those might be, especially in your geographical area. Getting on the ladder depends on what you can offer a potential employer - and some are definitely keener than others on tapping into the potential of older candidates. Have you registered with specialist agencies who handle vacancies for those in an older age group eg https://restless.co.uk/

You may not have considered the possibility of an apprenticeship, but they are anything but the 'school leavers only' option they once were. See https://www.apprenticeships.gov.uk/apprentices/applying-apprenticeship

Volunteering comes with its own rewards, albeit not usually financial, but may be worth considering as both a cv builder and way to increase your own skills and make contacts. https://www.gov.uk/volunteering

At 54, you have at least a decade of useful working life ahead of you. Whether you call it a career or a job doesn't matter; if you are earning and enjoying what you are doing, the semantics are irrelevant.

Very best of luck.

BrimfulofSascha

I agree with the above poster about considering an apprenticeship. If you fancy an office job have you considered accounting? you could be AAT qualified in a couple of years?

Brie

Careers as such are very over rated in my opinion.  There is nothing at all the matter with having a pleasant job that gives you some pay and helps keep a roof over your head and food in your tummy.  It doesn't need to be a mansion and it doesn't need to be foie gras.  I've known a number of people that worked hard for a career only to crash and burn and nearly die as a result when the pressure to continue climbing a corporate ladder nearly overwhelmed them.  One went from being upper management in a massive financial organisation and is now much happier restocking the fruit and veg section in a local Tescos.  

All that said - I was working for a company I had grown to hate and decided to look for a new job in my early 50s.  I started with a new company, hated the new job and was so relieved when I was being told I was being made redundant a couple of months later.  I managed to move to a different department, about 4 years later, another redundancy prospect, moved departments again and then another 5 years redundancy again.  After a final move I stayed put for 4 years, starting to get bored and then happily was made redundant at 64.  And went out and got a new role with a new organisation which I've enjoyed for the last 3 years.  Finally I'll be retiring properly next month at 67.  

My advice is to print off a copy of Marcon's advice above and reread it when you need a boost.  And know that, yes, there is ageism out there but there are also opportunities.  You just need to track them down and find where there's a happy spot for you to do your "9 - 5".

elsien

I think you need to ask yourself what you actually mean by a career? 

Anything that isn’t a minimum wage job? Something with a better prospect? Something where you can move up the ladder? Something that gives your work life meaning As opposed to just bringing in money?

It is possible to have an entry level job Which you find fulfilling and not want to move up the ladder.
Then it comes down to what you enjoy and what you’re interested about in.
You will have transferable skills from the jobs you have done and from your life experience, (and btw you haven’t wasted your life up until now)  but they won’t be transferable for all roles. And some jobs you are likely to hate.

So what aspects of previous roles have you liked, regardless of how much they paid?

lincroft1710

The world is full of people without ambition. Absolutely impossible for everyone to get on a career ladder, let alone reach the top. So stop worrying!!


Think of something you could reasonably and sensibility do and see if there are any vacancies. Even taking a NMW job which doesn't bore or irritate you would be a start

El_Rey

BrimfulofSascha said:

I agree with the above poster about considering an apprenticeship. If you fancy an office job have you considered accounting? you could be AAT qualified in a couple of years?

Sorry to hijack the thread, but after a couple of years of study what AAT level would the OP be at? What sort of roles would that open up to them? 

Marcon

Talking of study...OP, have a look at https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/deals/deals-hunter/2020/03/free-ways-to-learn-new-skills-at-home/ and https://www.reed.co.uk/courses/ for details of free online courses, which might give you a 'taste' of something which would interest you.

Grumpy_chap

Spint said:

I feel that I could spiral down into a deep depression, which happened to me about 17 years ago. I found a bottle of Diazepam the other day from that time ago and I'm taking half a tablet at the moment (they still work) to help me get to sleep if only for several hours. 

Rather than reverting to past treatments which may not be appropriate this time, please see a GP about your current state.  If you really can't see your GP, then contact a group such as The Samaritans or Salvation Army for support.

Spint said:

I don't want to tell my wife as I'd be ashamed but most importantly not to worry her and be disappointed in me.

nothing to show for apart from my lovely wife of nearly 15 years. 

Having a lovely wife for 15 years is a success of itself that so many would be envious of you for that alone.
Speak with her and confide in her - she has probably noticed if your behaviour has changed and may even be pleased if you broach the subject of how you are feeling.  She might be similarly not commenting for consideration of your feelings.



As to the core question about employment opportunities, many employers relish the opportunity to bring new but more mature people into the team. 
Unlike youngsters, you can bring work and life experience, stability, reliability and more tolerance with you to the work place.  You've been there, seen that, got the T-shirt.  You won't be turning up late after a heavy night out, you won't stay away on holiday in Spain and never return to the office because you met a nice young lady, you won't suddenly split from a girlfriend and flee back to Mum's at the other end of the country, you won't panic at the first inkling of business performance being lower than some expectation.
A great deal that the more mature worker can add to the work environment.

RAS

You won't get a career chugging away, it will require some effort to get into the area in the first place and more to progress.

What do you mean by a career? Something that requires prior qualifications and training, or something that's above minimum wage and has possible progression routes? 

These days few people have life long careers, that require long experience. I knew of someone recruited slightly older than you with just enough by the way of qualifications onto a three year funded course leading to a professional registration. The recruiter's argument was that most younger people only worked in a "career" for 5 years and this person would complete 5 years before retirement. 

Personally my career changed twice because someone had heard me ask about a problem I perceived. I was ignored until outsiders raised the issue and guess who was drafted in, because the bosses realised that if I understood the issue, I was already ahead of anyone else in the organisation.

What sort of qualifications do you have, as some careers require a minimum in English or Maths?

Beyond, it very much depends what you want to do? And think outside the box. Almost everyone who goes into Transport and Logistics has a family member who works in it? Despite that fact that nothing material would happen without it, the career is invisible to outsiders. So ask everyone you know what they do and how they got into it.

We really don't in this country value sufficiently the people who make things happen, whether it's brickies, sparks, highways maintenance or route planners, but some are decently paid, so think about them too.

Spint

Apologies for the delay but thank you for all your advice, I've really appreciated it.

I managed to confide in my wife, who has been very supportive, I really don't deserve her and feel so guilty putting her through this. I think I need to see my GP and try to get some help and medication to help me sleep. It feels like and I'm trying to keep my head above the water, trying to find inspiration and hope out of all this but it's hard.

Thank you again.