It’s all just hit me :(, but I’m determined to come out the other side

Pumpkinmad

Hello all you wonderful people. I’ve read so many post and seen how helpful and supportive people have been to each other. I thought this would be easy to write but it’s not but here goes……

Just over 40, one child. Life has thrown a lot my way in the last 5 years and somehow I’ve ended up with around £27k of credit card debt over 3 cards, 2 with Barclaycard (one was originally a Sky card years and years ago) and one with MBNA and a loan with £9k left on it with Halifax.

I also bank with Halifax and have my mortgage with Halifax.

I’m not sure if my marriage will last much longer (completely another story) but the long and the short is my payments are due next week and for the first time ever I actually don’t think I’m going to be able to make them. I’ve been robbing one place to pay another etc but it’s got to a point where completely my doing but something needs to change.

I’ve read so much great advise and I know this is not the right train of thought but it’s more if anyone knows the answer while I’m trying to get my head around all this as I feel it’s hit me all of a sudden with I know sounds daft. If I was to default on the 2 Barclaycards but keep up payments on my MBNA card would MBNA just carry on as normal or once they see the default on my file would they take steps to try and take away that card as well? I know having credit cards is how I got into the mess but the idea of having no access to fund if something really urgent happened is really scaring me.

If you got this far thank you for reading!  

Grumpelstiltskin

As I replied to your other post.

Pumpkinmad said:

My situation is quite similar to you, the difference being I think this is going to be the first month I actually can’t pay my minimum payments, a frightening place to be but need to take responsibility. What I’ve been trying to find out if if one of the credit cards I keep making my payments will that card provider let me keep the card or once they see defaults will they make moves to not allow me to use that card anymore? The idea of not having a credit card for a real emergency worries me. Good Lucy in your journey 

What you need to do is save an emergency fund before your debts default because you need to realize you must live without credit, keeping one card is the top of a slippery slope. With an emergency fund in place it will cover real emergencies.

If you are really serious about getting debt free you can't keep a credit card, you must save an emergency fund before you even think about making reduced payments to your debts.

Also if you owe money to the banking group where you have your current account you must move your current account to a banking group you don't owe money to.

It should be a basic account with no overdraft and do not use the banking swap service.

FlorayG

The best advice is to default ALL of the cards otherwise you will just continue to spend on the one you have left. You know you will. Put the money you would have paid monthly into a savings account and THAT will be your emergency fund; also will start you off with good savings habits
Lots of people ( me included) don't have credit cards at all and we cope with emergencies somehow. Any genuine emergency (e.g huge vet bill) will allow you to pay in installments anyway

Pumpkinmad

Thank you both I know you are completely right. I feel silly for having got into this situation and just getting my head around what I need to do and the way forward but I feel better for even realising I need to do something.

I will set up a bank account elsewhere later today.

should I continue with my personal loan? I also thought if I didn’t what would happen when my mortgage is due for renewal, could they refuse to give me a fixed rate?

Singlespeeder

More detail required ... but you can get through this. Take your time to fill in a honest 'actually what I spend, not guessing'  Statement of Affairs, format for MSE and share. It's anonymous, but it helps folks understand your situation. Keep your chin up ... the superstars will be along in due course.

RAS

Secured debt is different. About 3-6 months before your current fix ends, you log into your provider and select the best option they offer, without a credit check. Hopefully by the time you renew the second time, you can do a whole of market search.

Grumpelstiltskin

You should have no problem with your mortgage, when is it due for renewal?

You must stop paying  all unsecured debts, don't worry about having a loan with Halifax.

When you open the new account manually move all vital direct debits across.

The main thing is not to do anything in a panic, be sure you know what you are doing and why, nothing happens quickly in debt recovery so no need to rush .

Pumpkinmad

Thank you all. I will do the statement of affairs calmly over the next few days and post.

any idea roughly how many months it takes Barclaycard and MBNA to default? 

Cherryfudge

Some very useful advice above, offered by people with more understanding than I have, but I'll offer what I can. I think debt rarely comes on its own - I suspect your spending pattern is part of a wider picture and for now you have the added stress of a marriage in trouble and a child to care for.

I suspect the fact you've just woken up to it means you've been overwhelmed. So well done for getting past that point and looking at it. Do get the basic account set up, that's going to make a big difference. It shouldn't be with the same banking group as any of your debts. Saving for an emergency fund is also essential going forward: even if there's just a tenner in there, it's better than nothing.

I think you need to look at what's underlying all this. If you can identify where things are going wrong, you're on the way to putting it right.

Have a look at the relationship between your debts and the other things in your life - social pressures, illness or disability, inadequate income, compensatory spending (i.e. to make your self feel better), sudden emergencies, worries about other things, financial abuse (yours or someone else's), where you live, what support network you are part of it you have one... there are loads of things that can give you a clue about the deeper pattern. Your financial links with your husband/wife need to be taken into consideration too: if they are part of the problem, can you separate your finances? Even things like weight change over the past few years could be clues to how you cope and what's going on with the bigger picture. Once you've identified a pattern, don't beat yourself up. Learn from it and use what you learn as a tool to help you move forward. It won't solve overnight but it can be done.

Also - no one has yet suggested posting a statement of affairs but if you are willing to do this, we might be able to put a few suggestions to ease things.

Pumpkinmad

Thank you for that reply, lots to think about in that. Yes I will get figures together and post a statement of affairs. Thank you so much

I know from reading many other forums that nothing horrendously bad can happen when you default as long as you then get in touch etc it’s just all very frightening and overwelming. Feel like I’ve let my child down 

Pumpkinmad

Grumpelstiltskin said:

You should have no problem with your mortgage, when is it due for renewal?

You must stop paying  all unsecured debts, don't worry about having a loan with Halifax.

When you open the new account manually move all vital direct debits across.

The main thing is not to do anything in a panic, be sure you know what you are doing and why, nothing happens quickly in debt recovery so no need to rush .

Mortgage actually not due for renewal till April 2029