Problems with lodger

Luch

I got a new lodger (to earn extra cash). She brought someone at 1am without asking for my permission. She stayed with him in her room for about ten minutes and then they both left. She said that he is her partner, but she knows only his first initial and a phone number. She claims to have known him for four months. She does not know where he works, but she thinks that he is a truck driver. 

When I confronted her - she said that he came only to pick up his stuff. When I said that this could have been drugs, stolen goods, weapons - she retracted and said that it was only for sex. She showed his stuff - new clothes. I did not hear any sex sounds. 

So I am now getting nervous that she has used my flat as a goods base for criminal activities. She asked to fit a lock to her door - no other lodger asked for that in the past, but I fit a lock. I have asked her to move out. She is looking for a new place. I am concerned that the police could come over with a warrant to search the flat or there could be criminal involvement. What precautions should I take? Install Ring to my front door? Outside CCTV? Connect to Verisure? I do not want to contact the police to ensure that I do not have issues with gangsters for no reason.

FlorayG

First of all, remove the lock. A lodger is not entitled to that and you could be on a sticky wicket creating a tenancy because now you have no access to that room (unless you also have a key?)
Give her notice to leave and if she isn't gone on the required day change the locks while she is out and leave her stuff outside.
I have lodgers, I wouldn't stand for that for a minute longer than I had to

[Deleted User]

I hosted lodgers for many years, I would never have batted an eyelid at them bringing someone home and would never have even contemplated the things you're suggesting.
Questioning them about their friend? That's overstepping the mark, imo

Is the lodger expected to ask for permission every time that someone comes to the house and provide details about their guests? 

You appear to have a keen (perhaps overkeen) interest in your lodger's business.
It's making you concerned (you say nervous), perhaps even paranoid (ring door bells, cctv, police, gangsters)?

Maybe having a lodger isn't for you?

FlorayG

[Deleted User] said:

I hosted lodgers for many years, I would never have batted an eyelid at them bringing someone home and would never have even contemplated the things you're suggesting.
Questioning them about their friend? That's overstepping the mark, imo

Is the lodger expected to ask for permission every time that someone comes to the house and provide details about their guests? 

Absolutely that's a YES. It's not a house share, it's lodgings, guests are not appropriate without prior permission. You may be happy with a lax arrangement but being more strict is not 'overstepping the mark' at all

[Deleted User]

FlorayG said:

[Deleted User] said:

I hosted lodgers for many years, I would never have batted an eyelid at them bringing someone home and would never have even contemplated the things you're suggesting.
Questioning them about their friend? That's overstepping the mark, imo

Is the lodger expected to ask for permission every time that someone comes to the house and provide details about their guests? 

Absolutely that's a YES. It's not a house share, it's lodgings, guests are not appropriate without prior permission. You may be happy with a lax arrangement but being more strict is not 'overstepping the mark' at all

No trust in place then?
Similar to living with a strict parent or controlling partner kind of arrangement?  Righto

FreeBear

FlorayG said:

First of all, remove the lock. A lodger is not entitled to that and you could be on a sticky wicket creating a tenancy because now you have no access to that room (unless you also have a key?)

Agreed. No locks - Thumb latches are fine.

Have had a potential lodger asking for a lock on the door. That was as far as they got.

i_like_cats

It’s very common for live in landlords to ask for 24 hours notice before any guests, if they’re not forbidden completely.

However the balance to strike is you’ll need to be reasonable if you want to appeal to decent lodgers.

One of my favourite lodgers had a long time partner (now his wife) who lived in his home country.   He asked if the following month she could stay in his room for a week when she planned to visit the country.   That was fine!

Another lodger, a student, was unpredictable with guests and at my age it made me uncomfortable.  An example being, one Tuesday she said she was going out with her friends in the evening.   But then their plans apparently changed and, without telling me, she invited them all round and they took over the lounge and kitchen. And at some point she actually went to bed without sending them on their way, leaving three of them being noisy in the terraced house’s garden until nearly 3am till I went out and booted them out!

The difficulty is that you want a lodger who is personable and attractive (in the broadest sense).  But such a person whether male or female is quite likely to have partners and friends who they may want to come over.  If they’re only lodging with you for a short period then they may accept not being allowed guests and having to socialise or romance outside of their lodgings.  But if they’re with you long term they’ll expect some flexibility on your behalf to be able to do that at home.  And if they’re a good lodger you’ll want them to stay long term and put off having to go through the selection process again.

The exception is lodgers living with young families or single parents, who are more likely to appreciate and accept a blanket no guests rule.  

I wouldn’t suspect criminality or gangsterism of a lodger unless I had other evidence for their being involved in that lifestyle.  But if there was such evidence then I’d definitely say evict them as soon as legally possible….

ripplyuk

I’m not surprised she wants a lock on the door. If my landlord started talking about weapons, drugs and other criminality after I had a guest visit for 10 mins, I’d want a lock too. 

Had you discussed with her when she first moved in that visitors are not welcome without prior notice? Either way, it’s probably best she’s moving out. You might want to reconsider having a lodger at all, OP. It sounds like it could be very stressful for you. 

i_like_cats

ripplyuk said:

I’m not surprised she wants a lock on the door. If my landlord started talking about weapons, drugs and other criminality after I had a guest visit for 10 mins, I’d want a lock too. 

Had you discussed with her when she first moved in that visitors are not welcome without prior notice? Either way, it’s probably best she’s moving out. You might want to reconsider having a lodger at all, OP. It sounds like it could be very stressful for you. 

Depends where OP lives, of course!  Some neighbourhoods you’re quite likely to get a bad’un if you advertise for a lodger, so best not bothering!  For example if there’s no university, hospital or employer nearby that would naturally create a demand. 

Luch

FlorayG said:

First of all, remove the lock. A lodger is not entitled to that and you could be on a sticky wicket creating a tenancy because now you have no access to that room (unless you also have a key?)
Give her notice to leave and if she isn't gone on the required day change the locks while she is out and leave her stuff outside.
I have lodgers, I wouldn't stand for that for a minute longer than I had to

I have a key. I thought that it was a reasonable request since many girls would prefer to have a lock. I am trying to resolve it all amicably.

[Deleted User] said:

I hosted lodgers for many years, I would never have batted an eyelid at them bringing someone home and would never have even contemplated the things you're suggesting.
Questioning them about their friend? That's overstepping the mark, imo

Is the lodger expected to ask for permission every time that someone comes to the house and provide details about their guests? 

You appear to have a keen (perhaps overkeen) interest in your lodger's business.
It's making you concerned (you say nervous), perhaps even paranoid (ring door bells, cctv, police, gangsters)?

Maybe having a lodger isn't for you?

I have had several lodgers for around five years - no one acted like that. All warned me in advance. Yes, I do not have such a clause in my 7 pages contract. I will put it in next time. Another lodger took my backpack to use - I also do not have a clause to ask not to take my stuff. These are courtesy things in my view, like - do not urinate in the living room - should I also stipulate that? She did it in a very covert way - when I was sleeping, she hoped that I would not detect a stranger in my flat. Then she changed her version of events.

FlorayG said:

[Deleted User] said:

I hosted lodgers for many years, I would never have batted an eyelid at them bringing someone home and would never have even contemplated the things you're suggesting.
Questioning them about their friend? That's overstepping the mark, imo

Is the lodger expected to ask for permission every time that someone comes to the house and provide details about their guests? 

Absolutely that's a YES. It's not a house share, it's lodgings, guests are not appropriate without prior permission. You may be happy with a lax arrangement but being more strict is not 'overstepping the mark' at all

I have a teenage daughter staying with me sometimes. It would be a big problem if the lodger did that trick if my daughter were in. My bedroom does not have a lock. My daughter would be shocked to encounter a stranger in the flat.

i_like_cats said:

It’s very common for live in landlords to ask for 24 hours notice before any guests, if they’re not forbidden completely.

However the balance to strike is you’ll need to be reasonable if you want to appeal to decent lodgers.

One of my favourite lodgers had a long time partner (now his wife) who lived in his home country.   He asked if the following month she could stay in his room for a week when she planned to visit the country.   That was fine!

Another lodger, a student, was unpredictable with guests and at my age it made me uncomfortable.  An example being, one Tuesday she said she was going out with her friends in the evening.   But then their plans apparently changed and, without telling me, she invited them all round and they took over the lounge and kitchen. And at some point she actually went to bed without sending them on their way, leaving three of them being noisy in the terraced house’s garden until nearly 3am till I went out and booted them out!

The difficulty is that you want a lodger who is personable and attractive (in the broadest sense).  But such a person whether male or female is quite likely to have partners and friends who they may want to come over.  If they’re only lodging with you for a short period then they may accept not being allowed guests and having to socialise or romance outside of their lodgings.  But if they’re with you long term they’ll expect some flexibility on your behalf to be able to do that at home.  And if they’re a good lodger you’ll want them to stay long term and put off having to go through the selection process again.

The exception is lodgers living with young families or single parents, who are more likely to appreciate and accept a blanket no guests rule.  

I wouldn’t suspect criminality or gangsterism of a lodger unless I had other evidence for their being involved in that lifestyle.  But if there was such evidence then I’d definitely say evict them as soon as legally possible….

It was about the covert way of doing that. Getting someone without my knowledge to my flat at 1am when I was sleeping and hoping that I would not notice that! It was likely something criminal. Then she changed her version from storing clothes for that man to having sex with him (when she understood that I did not like the storage legend). BTW - I did not hear any sex sounds. Then she said that she does not know who that guy is. So, she is bringing effectively complete strangers (if it is true) to the flat without my permission.

ripplyuk said:

I’m not surprised she wants a lock on the door. If my landlord started talking about weapons, drugs and other criminality after I had a guest visit for 10 mins, I’d want a lock too. 

Had you discussed with her when she first moved in that visitors are not welcome without prior notice? Either way, it’s probably best she’s moving out. You might want to reconsider having a lodger at all, OP. It sounds like it could be very stressful for you. 

I had several lodgers for several years and did not have such stories. One lodger stayed for 3 years. 

Nobody dared. I have a clause to give me a one week notice before inviting someone overnight. But I do not have a clause not to invite anyone - true. There is a clause not to do any criminal activity though.

i_like_cats said:

ripplyuk said:

I’m not surprised she wants a lock on the door. If my landlord started talking about weapons, drugs and other criminality after I had a guest visit for 10 mins, I’d want a lock too. 

Had you discussed with her when she first moved in that visitors are not welcome without prior notice? Either way, it’s probably best she’s moving out. You might want to reconsider having a lodger at all, OP. It sounds like it could be very stressful for you. 

Depends where OP lives, of course!  Some neighbourhoods you’re quite likely to get a bad’un if you advertise for a lodger, so best not bothering!  For example if there’s no university, hospital or employer nearby that would naturally create a demand. 

It is indeed very difficult to find a decent one in my area, but I am trying to get extra money to cope with debts.

Luch

Long story short: that lodger was a drug-addict, by some miracle I could get rid of her. The Ring door camera helped a lot. Yes, I do agree with earlier posts here - if there is no major company around the area - it best to forget about finding a proper lodge altogether. I am now trying to find a better paying job than a lodger.