Gifting nightmare

nyck

Thanks I think we have all the info we need

Even if it was kept a secret ,know it would destroy my wife all the secrecy  and unfairness even though it would be our kids benefiting.

The funny thing is everyone gets on great and this could/would mess  every thing up if it come to light.

The 2 excluded grand children have turned things around so its no right.

Whats the law on getting the mother in law in a head lock until she changes her mind  

Flugelhorn

nyck said:

Whats the law on getting the mother in law in a head lock until she changes her mind  

Little white lie telling her that:

1)  it has to be disclosed at some point? 
2)  it is illegal under the unfair granny act of 1892?
3) taxman might assume everyone had the same??

Savvy_Sue

nyck said:

Whats the law on getting the mother in law in a head lock until she changes her mind  

Tempting ... but honestly, you can drip drip away and discourage the unfairness, but some people just won't listen. 

My parents had a clause in their wills that if any of us predeceased them, grandchildren were NOT to receive their late parent's share. It was Mum's insistence: she said she didn't know her grandchildren well enough to want them to have anything. After my dad died, my co-executor sent something from their personal share to each grandchild, saying he was sure their granddad would have wanted them to have something. 

And we both said to mum that we didn't think it was fair to penalise children who'd already lost a parent, especially as it wasn't their fault if they didn't visit as often as she would have wanted them to. She wouldn't have it, so we gave up trying, but agreed out of her hearing that we'd look at a Deed of Variation - and if it had to come out of our personal shares rather than everyone's, then so be it. In the event we didn't need to go against her wishes. 

And I know people will say you shouldn't agree to be an executor if you don't intend to do what the will says, but I have no regrets. It was a calculated low risk that we wouldn't have to do it, and we didn't. I probably wouldn't have agreed to be executor for a will which was more fundamentally unfair. 

RAS

We had a situation where a relative decided to disinherit another. The rest of us agreed that they might not get round to it, but if it happened we'd just do a deed of variation. That eased minds worried about the fall out.

nyck

She's come to her senses and no head lock required .

She asked my wife round for lunch today and announced there will be no gifting to the grandchildrenand stick to the 3 way split.  .

We think its sunk in about the fallout this could cause .

Its a big relief 

thanks again for everyone's help