Mid-40s, newly separated. First time buyer advice.

Murphybear

elsmandino said:

Thanks - I have just done a quick one and it seems to suggest that I might have around £400.00 spare per month and that is if I am very frugal.

I am not quite sure how accurate that is as I have tried to look up estimates of energy use, based upon a single person's use of electricity and water etc.

I don't do any pension sacrifice at the moment and was hoping to - not sure I can really afford to.

There might be some scope to overpay my mortgage too, which will help things in the long run.

I guess my only real way of improving things is to see if I can get a better paid job or a "side hustle" job that might allow me to do a bit of extra work in the evenings or one of the weekend days.

I was living in London and working for a charity some years ago.  Fantastic job but not well paid.  I was lucky enough to have the skills to teach evening classes which really helped.  

Albermarle

I guess my only real way of improving things is to see if I can get a better paid job or a "side hustle" job that might allow me to do a bit of extra work in the evenings or one of the weekend days.

That would help but also do not forget that over time the repayments on the mortgage should get more affordable. 
Lets say you fix for 5 years ( which is pretty typical) and the payments are £800 a month. 
By the fifth year you would hope/expect that your salary will at least have increased with inflation. So using 3% inflation as an estimate, by the fifth year  you will be earning around £6,000 a year more.
OK other bills will have increased and you will be paying tax on that £6K, but you can see that generally over time the mortgage payments will get more affordable.

For people with big debts/mortgage, inflation is their friend.

Myci85

When you say you would have approx £400 left over each month, have you included food costs, petrol/transport costs etc into that, or would you need to fund that out of the £400? If you've literally included everything in your calculations, and are happy to live frugally to enable you to buy your own place, only you can decide if that is doable. I expect rents would be similar if not more, and whilst you would then still have your savings, would you want to start using them up to pay someone else's mortgage?
As someone else suggested, an alternative is to look at shared ownership, doesn't work for everyone, but might be the answer for you. 

ian1246

Your figures do add up.

Are you married? If so, you have as much right to the marital home as mum. If unmarried, have you invested time or effort in the property? If so, you may have an beneficial interest in a share of it.

Assuming a £35,000 basic income you should be able to borrow £157,500 at 4.5 times borrowing - but with that sort of deposit, you may be able to borrow up to 5 times your income, not factoring in a bonus (hence the £10,000 deduction from your £45,000 income!). Speak to a broker about options / borrowing affordability.

Put a mortgage over as long as period as possible (reducing monthly payments)- you can make overpayments to bring the date forward as/when you can afford & once they child's an adult, you'll have additional income freed up to cover additional mortgage payments 

£400 a month child maintaince implies only having your child 1 day a week? Is this what you want? Is that what your child wants? If you can get a mortgage for a 2 bed property you should consider pushing for 50/50 - that will drop your child maintaince down to below £200 & if your involved equally in the day to day activities of the child & having them 50/50 there is no CMS requirement (check the governments CMS Calculator - it says as such onbthe very first page!)

You have as much right in law to your child;as mum - never ever forget that. If your in any doubt have a free 1hour appointment with a family solicitor to discuss child-arrangements (if not amicable) and where you stand legally.

It'd also be worth researching the statistics for the outcomes for children raised predominantly by single mums compared to children who's dads are still heavily involved in their life. They are huge - single mum & limited dad involvement = poorer prospects i.e. poorer academic achievement, increased probability of behavioral problems, mental health etc.. etc... compared to children with both parents heavily involved in their life.

The best possible gift you could give your child is to push for as extensive and heavy involvement in their life as you can get- don't just accept having them every other Friday/Saturday night as so many Dads seem to.

Your child's development & future prospects statistically will be much better & you'll both have chance for your relationship to change and blossom without mum's presence when you have them, much as it will for mum / child when your no longer present.

There is no value you can place onto that. Please don't just accept the default "mums in charge & has the child and calls all the shots" stereotype - because that's not the case in law at all.

Since your still living together, step up your involvement in the child's life now if you don't already do things 50/50 - things like school runs & doctor appointments & document it - you'll then be in a better position to argue for having your child more if your ex refuses to agree & thinks she can dictate when/how you see the child.

BungalowBel

elsmandino said:

I think you are right.

My only other option is to move to another more affordable area or buy something with a single bedroom - the latter meaning that my son can never visit me.

Yes he can - her can use your bed and you can have a sofa bed in the lounge.

newsgroupmonkey_

The advice was already given in your first post.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6592392/mid-40s-newly-separated-first-time-buyer-advice