Bullying incident handled poorly by venue

gmc600

Looking for some advice, my wife and kids were at a popular kids play centre and there was an incident with a member of the public. She wrote this letter (I’ve redacted some details) to complain about the way this was handled:

“I am extremely disappointed with how staff handled a serious bullying incident during our visit to XXXX on XXXX. While my daughter(s) and my friend’s daughter(s) were queuing for the go-karts, a group of six boys began shouting at them, falsely accusing them of skipping the queue. Despite [the children’s] attempts to clarify, the boys continued their aggressive behaviour, forcing them to call me for help.

When I arrived, the boys immediately shouted at me and called me "Karen" I sought staff assistance, but they failed to intervene meaningfully. Instead of addressing the boys' provocative and intimidating behaviour—including one pretending to kick my daughter—the staff simply told me not to react. The situation escalated when one of the boys’ mothers arrived. Rather than disciplining them, she dismissed my concerns and shockingly used profanities, including the F-word, in front of all the children.

Despite this group’s clear disruptive and inappropriate behaviour, they were allowed to stay while we were left feeling unsafe and ignored. I find this completely unacceptable. I request an explanation as to why no action was taken and what measures XXXX will implement to prevent such incidents in the future.

I look forward to your prompt response.”

After some emails back and forth they have said they will give us a credit voucher only (not the refund we were hoping for). And have implemented some “training” (no specific details given and not even an admission that their staff did something wrong, just “necessary action will be taken”, “we understand your frustration”, “really sorry that your visit with us was not as expected” and other words like that).

Can anyone advise on next steps? Their last email states they “will not be responding to further inquiries on this matter”.

Thanks very much!

user1977

I doubt there's much more they're obliged to do, beyond (perhaps) a refund, they certainly don't need to chat to you about their training etc.

Aylesbury_Duck

gmc600 said:

Looking for some advice, my wife and kids were at a popular kids play centre and there was an incident with a member of the public. She wrote this letter (I’ve redacted some details) to complain about the way this was handled:

“I am extremely disappointed with how staff handled a serious bullying incident during our visit to XXXX on XXXX. While my daughter(s) and my friend’s daughter(s) were queuing for the go-karts, a group of six boys began shouting at them, falsely accusing them of skipping the queue. Despite [the children’s] attempts to clarify, the boys continued their aggressive behaviour, forcing them to call me for help.

When I arrived, the boys immediately shouted at me and called me "Karen" I sought staff assistance, but they failed to intervene meaningfully. Instead of addressing the boys' provocative and intimidating behaviour—including one pretending to kick my daughter—the staff simply told me not to react. The situation escalated when one of the boys’ mothers arrived. Rather than disciplining them, she dismissed my concerns and shockingly used profanities, including the F-word, in front of all the children.

Despite this group’s clear disruptive and inappropriate behaviour, they were allowed to stay while we were left feeling unsafe and ignored. I find this completely unacceptable. I request an explanation as to why no action was taken and what measures XXXX will implement to prevent such incidents in the future.

I look forward to your prompt response.”

After some emails back and forth they have said they will give us a credit voucher only (not the refund we were hoping for). And have implemented some “training” (no specific details given and not even an admission that their staff did something wrong, just “necessary action will be taken”, “we understand your frustration”, “really sorry that your visit with us was not as expected” and other words like that).

Can anyone advise on next steps? Their last email states they “will not be responding to further inquiries on this matter”.

Thanks very much!

Only if we know what outcome you're seeking.

On the financial side of things, as I understand the situation from your account, you're not entitled to a refund if your children made use of their tickets. If the incident occurred right at the start of the session and there was no way for the children to stay and play, then that might justify a refund.  As it is, a credit voucher is a goodwill gesture the establishment doesn't have to provide.

More broadly, it sounds like the appropriate response here is that staff need to be better trained to be alert to incidences of bullying and to know how to handle them.  It sounds like that's what they've done.  They have no obligation to provide details of that training to you.

So "next steps" are only appropriate if you think a refund is due.  If so, write to them setting that out.  For the broader problem, if the establishment has some sort of overarching body or is Ofsted-regulated (or similar) then you might write to them setting out your concerns.

Other than that, the only appropriate action is a factual and honest review on something like TripAdvisor or wherever they have a feedback section, and to not use them again.

Grumpy_chap

gmc600 said:

Can anyone advise on next steps? 

Accept the credit voucher and look forward to enjoying the next visit to the venue with your children.  Try to pick a time when older children are less likely to be at the venue.
Move on and forget the foolish behaviour of the other (older) children.  
There does not seem to be anything to gain by prolonging this any further.  Live is too short to dwell on such event and stew over them.

What outcome were you hoping for?

gmc600

Thanks all, was hoping there was more we could do but agree that it's probably too much hassle to try taking this any further.

DullGreyGuy

Why is the (s) in brackets? You dont know how many of your daughters were impacted? You also didnt give any indications of the ages of either your unknown number of daughters and the boys.

Ultimately they've said they arent going to respond further on the mater, there is no legal requirement that I'm aware of that would require them to do so. You can keep butting your head against a brick wall if you want but not what else you are really wanting out of it?

Okell

@gmc600 -  did you or your wife already post this on Mumsnet or somewhere?  It sounds very familiar.

If the venue have said they will retrain staff then that is the best you can hope for.  You and your wife aren't entitled to know any more about what the venue intends to do.

One of the issues of course is that it would appear that your wife wasn't physically present when the incident occurred so it comes down to your daughter's (or daughters') word (or words) against the word of others.  Of course you and your wife will want to believe that events occurred as your daughter (or daughters) says (say) but the venue is not bound to accept her (or their) version.

I say it appears that your wife was not physically present during the altercation because she says herself that the daughter(s) was (were) forced to call your wife for help - which implies that she wasn't present at the time and therefore has no firsthand knowledge of what happened.

gmc600

Okell said:

@gmc600 -  did you or your wife already post this on Mumsnet or somewhere?  It sounds very familiar.

If the venue have said they will retrain staff then that is the best you can hope for.  You and your wife aren't entitled to know any more about what the venue intends to do.

One of the issues of course is that it would appear that your wife wasn't physically present when the incident occurred so it comes down to your daughter's (or daughters') word (or words) against the word of others.  Of course you and your wife will want to believe that events occurred as your daughter (or daughters) says (say) but the venue is not bound to accept her (or their) version.

I say it appears that your wife was not physically present during the altercation because she says herself that the daughter(s) was (were) forced to call your wife for help - which implies that she wasn't present at the time and therefore has no firsthand knowledge of what happened.

Must be a similar incident that someone else had, we didn't post this anywhere else. She was physically present, close enough to hear the call for help anyway and immediately went to help.

lincroft1710

gmc600 said:

Okell said:

@gmc600 -  did you or your wife already post this on Mumsnet or somewhere?  It sounds very familiar.

If the venue have said they will retrain staff then that is the best you can hope for.  You and your wife aren't entitled to know any more about what the venue intends to do.

One of the issues of course is that it would appear that your wife wasn't physically present when the incident occurred so it comes down to your daughter's (or daughters') word (or words) against the word of others.  Of course you and your wife will want to believe that events occurred as your daughter (or daughters) says (say) but the venue is not bound to accept her (or their) version.

I say it appears that your wife was not physically present during the altercation because she says herself that the daughter(s) was (were) forced to call your wife for help - which implies that she wasn't present at the time and therefore has no firsthand knowledge of what happened.

Must be a similar incident that someone else had, we didn't post this anywhere else. She was physically present, close enough to hear the call for help anyway and immediately went to help.

Your wife heard your daughter's (or daughters') call for help but it appears did not witness the incident which prompted this call.

Okell

gmc600 said:

Okell said:

@gmc600 -  did you or your wife already post this on Mumsnet or somewhere?  It sounds very familiar.

If the venue have said they will retrain staff then that is the best you can hope for.  You and your wife aren't entitled to know any more about what the venue intends to do.

One of the issues of course is that it would appear that your wife wasn't physically present when the incident occurred so it comes down to your daughter's (or daughters') word (or words) against the word of others.  Of course you and your wife will want to believe that events occurred as your daughter (or daughters) says (say) but the venue is not bound to accept her (or their) version.

I say it appears that your wife was not physically present during the altercation because she says herself that the daughter(s) was (were) forced to call your wife for help - which implies that she wasn't present at the time and therefore has no firsthand knowledge of what happened.

Must be a similar incident that someone else had, we didn't post this anywhere else. She was physically present, close enough to hear the call for help anyway and immediately went to help.

No - I think it's my mistake.