I have recently had a baby and a friend I met while living abroad has sent me a gift. But as it's come from overseas, I have to pay £70 customs duty on it, which I can't really afford. I don't want to appear ungrateful, but should I ask my friend whether they'll pay it or just suck it up and pay it myself?
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Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask my friend to pay customs duty on the gift they sent from abroad?

MSE_Kelvin
Posts: 387 MSE Staff

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Comments
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I would just pay it - very embarrassing to have to go back to your friend, however if they continue to send the child gifts it might be worth mentioning that the customs seem to have got very keen on extra tax for these things and perhaps a gift could be sent via money instead?4
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I would tell them I can't afford the duty. £70 is an awful lot to have to pay when you're short of cash. If you aren't close enough to feel able to tell them the truth then you aren't really friends. My brother lives in Italy and he simply told us not to even send cards unless we use Moonpig, as they have to pay duty on anything else. I buy gifts from Italian Amazon for my nephew to overcome the problem.5
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Don't pay it, eventually it will be returned to sender and they'll work out they're not to send you things by post.9
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Never look a gift horse in the mouth!
Personally I wouldn’t ask for the money, as above too awkward, whatever it is must be worth more than the custom fee and what else might you miss out on being sent in the future?
In the game of chess you can never let your adversary see your pieces0 -
Depending on contents of the parcel, it might be worth challenging the amount? A friend sent me some homemade cushion covers but mistakenly put what they would have cost in a shop as the value. I refused to accept the parcel and sent it back to Royal Mail telling them the contents were homemade and to recheck the value. A few weeks later the parcel was delivered to me with no charges to pay.8
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If you can't afford it that speaks volumes don't pay it to be polite, refuse to pay it and it will be returned. Don't pay for something which you can't afford, listen to yourself!I am trying to raise £300 by 30.06.25 from Prolific and other sources, I am up to £15.73/£300 which is 5%10
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I have the same problem with family in the USA sending me gifts. It all depends on the value the sender puts on the customs declaration. It is best to tell them to put a lower valuation so you will pay less customs charges.4
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Might be worth checking with your friend what’s in the parcel - £70 duty suggests a pretty expensive gift. It’s possible the customs value has been entered incorrectly or misread (happened to me once before). If there’s an error and you don’t pay the parcel will eventually be returned to your friend.3
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Diabolical said:Might be worth checking with your friend what’s in the parcel - £70 duty suggests a pretty expensive gift. It’s possible the customs value has been entered incorrectly or misread (happened to me once before). If there’s an error and you don’t pay the parcel will eventually be returned to your friend.2
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Sorry but you are being too British about this. As mentioned earlier, ask your friend what is in the parcel. It is more than likely going to be less value than the duty. It is ridiculous that we have to pay for gifts but there we are.7
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