Stressed out Mum..HELP

mumma87

*Complicated*

I jointly owned our home with my ex partner when we purchased it in 2012 as joint tenants. We separated in 2019 and I continued to live at the property with our 3 children. After I did not agree to sell, he severed our our tenancy in 2021 via a solicitor, I did not agree and didn't sign any paperwork. I was paying for the mortgages. 

He unfortunately passed away in November 2024 with no life insurance in place and did not leave a will. 

I understand from the rules of intestacy that our children will inherit his share of the equity in the house but they are 14, 11 and 8. 

His mum informed the mortgage company about the bereavement and they froze the account for 3 months. She filled out a form from Nationwide to say that she is a personal representative.

The fixed deal comes to and end as of this month. I called them around 6 weeks ago to arrange a new rate to be informed that there was a beneficary and I need to seek legal advice. The lady was very rude , not sympathetic in the slightest. She said they were aware of who it was and even though the mortgage is now in my sole name I couldn't make any changes without authorisation from this person. I have since raised a complaint. They have spoken to the personal rep (his mum) but Nationwide are saying that I cannot switch my rate because there is a personal representative flagged on my account. I have her authorization to make the appropriate changes to ensure the payments remain affordable. 

Anyone know what are the processes here I am being passed around from pillar to post and will do anything not to switch to standard rate!!

Thanks in advance 

One stressed out mum 😭 

Keep_pedalling

Sorry you find yourself in this mess. The severing of a tenancy can indeed be done by just one owner and there is nothing the joint tenant can do to stop it. Intestacy laws mean the ownership of your home is now split between yourself and (as minors can’t own property) a trust, and you can’t do anything without the cooperation of the trustees of that trust.

Are you on good terms with your ex’s mother? As she has been dealing with his estate you ideally need to work with her to get this trust sorted and you appointed as a second trustee. Do you know if she has obtained probate yet? 

gwynlas

If you were married at the time of his death then you would be the benificiary of is estate if he had not made a will.

I presume that his mother wants what is best for her grandchildren so you could make a joint appointment to see someone in person at the local branch.

Marcon

mumma87 said:

*Complicated*

I jointly owned our home with my ex partner when we purchased it in 2012 as joint tenants. We separated in 2019 and I continued to live at the property with our 3 children. After I did not agree to sell, he severed our our tenancy in 2021 via a solicitor, I did not agree and didn't sign any paperwork. I was paying for the mortgages. 

He unfortunately passed away in November 2024 with no life insurance in place and did not leave a will. 

I understand from the rules of intestacy that our children will inherit his share of the equity in the house but they are 14, 11 and 8. 

His mum informed the mortgage company about the bereavement and they froze the account for 3 months. She filled out a form from Nationwide to say that she is a personal representative.

The fixed deal comes to and end as of this month. I called them around 6 weeks ago to arrange a new rate to be informed that there was a beneficary and I need to seek legal advice. The lady was very rude , not sympathetic in the slightest. She said they were aware of who it was and even though the mortgage is now in my sole name I couldn't make any changes without authorisation from this person. I have since raised a complaint. They have spoken to the personal rep (his mum) but Nationwide are saying that I cannot switch my rate because there is a personal representative flagged on my account. I have her authorization to make the appropriate changes to ensure the payments remain affordable. 

Anyone know what are the processes here I am being passed around from pillar to post and will do anything not to switch to standard rate!!

Thanks in advance 

One stressed out mum 😭 

Three kids is pretty stressful, without adding this to the mix!

I think you are over-estimating what this site can provide, and from the sound of it getting yourself some proper legal advice is the best way to alleviate the stress. I appreciate that comes at a cost - but so too will continuing to go round in circles, especially with the fixed rate ending in a few days.

Claude_and_Eustace

The advice that you can get from here very much depends on whether you were married (I’m assuming you weren’t as you said ex-partner) and how good on terms you are with the MIL (for want of a better term). I would hope that even if you weren’t on the best terms that for the sake of her grandchildren she will be looking for the best outcome here.

I’ve been through similar, my estranged husband died a couple of years ago intestate and I had 3 young teens. I would ask whether he had any pensions as your children may be eligible to receive a portion. Also, if he was employed there may be (have been) a death in service payment that could  arguably be awarded to the children. I know that neither of these help with the immediate problem but may help to alleviate some future financial stress.

As someone else advised, I would try to make a joint appointment. If nothing else they should answer your MILs questions about the beneficiary if she is the personal representative. 

Good luck, I didn’t want to read and run. It’s a very weird situation as you are now having to maintain a relationship with a side of family that, in my case at least, you had no contact with (or concern from!)  for years. 

mumma87

Thank you so much for all of your comments. We weren't married. We were supposed to marry in 2019 but there were lots of issues so I decided it wasn't the right thing to do. 

Me and his mum are on good terms. No probate as yet. Looks like a trust is required. 

Nothing in my life is ever straight forward! 

I will get some legal advice ASAP just wondered if anyone had been through the same hell haha 🤣 

X

Claude_and_Eustace

I’m glad you are on good terms, it will make everything slightly easier. Do look into pensions though, mine all receive a share of their father’s pension whilst in full time education (up to the age of 23). 

Keep_pedalling

mumma87 said:

Thank you so much for all of your comments. We weren't married. We were supposed to marry in 2019 but there were lots of issues so I decided it wasn't the right thing to do. 

Me and his mum are on good terms. No probate as yet. Looks like a trust is required. 

Nothing in my life is ever straight forward! 

I will get some legal advice ASAP just wondered if anyone had been through the same hell haha 🤣 

X

That is good, and no doubt she also has the best interests of her grand children at heart. Unfortunately until letters of administration and the trust is sorted you are rather stuck as far as sorting your mortgage is concerned, and you may need to go through a broker to get the best deal. It also makes it difficult if you want to move in the next 10 years.