I just can't see an end to this - any advice welcome

shell18

I owe HMRC around £17k. I say around because I can't bring myself to look at the latest figure. I am not going to try and justify this with a load of b'crap excuses. I mucked up and now my mental health is so bad I see the only way out as suicide but I have 3 children and they are the ONLY reason I haven't done it yet. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I do not want to live anymore. I have gone through my budget and cut as much as possible and on paper I look OK but in reality I have a husband who lives his life with his head in the sand (our marriage is a joke but that's another story). What is the quickest way to earn extra money? At this point I will consider anything. I can't work in the day because I am currently carer to a relative with end stage cancer (ironically she's hanging on for dear life and I can't wait for my life to end - what a worthless piece of crap I am). I need a fast way out of this mess. How can I get out of this quickly? A long term budget with £10 here and there isn't gona cut it with the tax man. Thanks for your help.

EssexHebridean

First up, ending your life is never an answer to anything. Your reasons for not doing so are sound - and whatever you may think at your worst moments, they will absolutely NEVER be better off without you.  It sounds as though you need to get an appointment sorted with your GP to discuss the mental health aspects as a priority - and make no mistake, your wellbeing IS the no. 1 priority.

Second thing is to find out how much you owe - I know it's terrifying, but you only have to do it the once, and then you know, and you can start planning to deal with it. 

fatbelly

Yep . Find out how much you owe then give us an soa

https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php

17k isn't very much in the grand scheme of things

marcia_

 If you can't speak to your GP consider ringing the samaritans. They will listen for as long as you want to talk and they are completely confidential 

https://www.samaritans.org/donate-now/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=psearch&utm_campaign=IGRG&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADiwX7ZaTWBFMp8l_p46lyIUd5EWE&gclid=CjwKCAiAh6y9BhBREiwApBLHC5fdepav8BdgiomGOJNvN_LKzuJb9o-6rk31n7Q9oOxKj8oW1OrxfRoCDhYQAvD_BwE

400ixl

First up, if you are a carer, are you getting the benefits you are entitled to?

As people have said you are able to get out of this with support.

tacpot12

There is help available with your debts and HMRC will have to wait if you really cannot pay them back. 

Putting up a SOA here will help you when you come to talk to them. You should probably ask a family member to help you talk to HMRC when you are ready to do so. 

Please prioritise speaking to your GP or the Samaritans. Then check your benefits, then post an SOA here to get further advice before trying to talk to HMRC.

Once you have spoken to HMRC, you might want to consider posting on the Marriages, Relationships and Families board on MSE to see if anyone can suggest anthing that might help with your marriage. I would not try to deal with that issue until you have a plan that HMRC have agreed to.  

powerspowers

Please don’t beat yourself up. Lots of people have struggled with debt and come out of the other side. You have a lot on with caring & the children and poor mental health makes it hard to see the wood from the trees. 

I think previous posters have the right idea re speaking to your GP and trying to get on top of your mental health. Then you are in a better position to address the debt. The world isn’t going to end over £17k. 

Hang in there and keep us updated. 

BrotherUuurgh

Didn't want to read and run. I feel your pain. Do yourself a favour and speak to Samaritans and get a GP appointment as others have said. Just get a dialogue going with them - I promise you'll feel a bit more at ease. I was there several years ago for similar reasons though not HMRC.

You are NOT a worthless piece of crap. You're doing great things raising children and brave things talking to people about problems. Respect. 

No more to add than has already been said but I wanted to wish you my best. 

ManyWays

In addition to what everyone else has said (post a SOA, talk to the Samaritans, benefits check), is the HMRC debt for overpaid tax credits? or underpaid tax if you were self employed?
If it is underpaid tax, talk to TaxAid who have a help line https://taxaid.org.uk/

PM22

Please see your GP and get a referral to th mental health team.

When I got myself into trouble with HMRC a few years ago, TaxAid were there for me. I seem to remember they help people earning less than 20k a year a nd they filed all my tax returns for me and they got the fines revoked. I can't praise them highly enough....

There are solutions to all this, your kids need you. Be kind to yourself, you can sort this out...

enthusiasticsaver

I think you need to make HMRC aware of your situation and that you are unable to work at the moment. Tax aid is another good option to contact.  Sadly there is no quick way out of debt.  The only thing you can do is prioritise whatever income you have and make sure you are paying the most important bills first like mortgage/rent, utilities and council tax.  I assume the only income you have coming in is your husbands income?  Make sure you are claiming whatever benefits you can for caring for your relative. 

You also need to seek help for depression from your GP.