How thrifty can a thrifty forumite called ThriftyMissus be?

Thriftymissus

How can we only be just over half way through February? It feels like such a long month! (I thought it was January that was supposed to be like that.)

For at least 12 years, I’ve had an extreme dread of some aspects of personal finance, grief from too many close bereavements, at far too young an age, turned into anxiety, especially around paperwork and bills needed in connection with work, which I’ve sought treatment for these last months and it’s really making a difference.

Rather than continuing to be hard on myself about the state of mental paralysis I got myself into around money, I’m trying my best to congratulate myself on how far I’ve come. I’ve still some big hurdles to conquer in chasing money owed to me, but I am also capable at last of being a bit proud of sorting out a right old mess to the extent I have.

I started this year with a debt of £7881, down from over £20k a little more than a year ago, when I was still within 12 months since a latest and most traumatic loss which had me reeling and heartbroken, also for my parents who continue to struggle. 

Since the start of this year, I’ve done the following:

Set up a spreadsheet for all income and expenditure and update regularly  
Had a high number of days of no spending - was over 20 in January and am on number 13 this month. Didn’t buy a Valentine’s card 🤪)
Spent less than £20 on groceries above a shared amount I contribute each month to my partner who does the shopping (some of this has been TooGoodToGo bags but I’m not convinced I’ll bother much with these in future, have had 2 good ones but some disappointing ones as well — it is pot luck after all!)
Cut down on takeaways and other non essential spends 
Listed 5-10 items online to sell every week
Done Curious Cat and Prolific surveys as often as I could 
Invoiced up front for work and (nearly fell off my chair)  got paid immediately 
Really importantly, rather than impulsively spending on a credit card to buy trips away, with friends, family or by myself, at the same time as burying my head in the sand about debts,  I’ve thanked lovely people for the invitation and said no, I can’t put into words, how much of a step forward this is! 

I also managed to complete compiling six months of expenses needed for my part-time job. These should have been done monthly. My admin has been terrible, and I didn’t even manage to keep some of my receipts, it has caused issues for my employer and now I’m breathing a big sigh of relief that however poor my record keeping, I’ve finally faced this head on and submitted my forms. It’s like my mind freezes at the mere thought of doing this, in years gone by a beloved and very special friend used to be in charge of everything admin-wise in our small business and now, eight years after losing her, I still get flashbacks of her helping me and sometimes having to tell me off. This leads to more troubling flashbacks, of other loved-ones too in the most distressing of circumstances. I was diagnosed with PTSD 12 years ago so this has been at the core of my stress around money I think, so acknowledging that isn’t easy and neither is forgiving myself or seeing it as anything but an excuse.

I used £12 of points buying toiletries and £25 of gift vouchers on various lunches. I might need to get out more but I do get a blast of smugness doing stuff like that! 

I’ve paid £2361 off my debt so far this year, a third. I have direct debits set up, the last one is February 2026 but my aim is that by next month all will be due to be paid off, by direct debit and/or additional payments before Christmas. My income has been good so far this year, March isn’t looking great at all  *yet* but I’m also in the right frame of mind to sort this. 

Cheers for reading if you got this far x

in_need_of_direction

Many thanks for your honesty. As a self employed person, I do the client stuff but ridiculously put off doing expenses or paying myself.  It’s a completely irrational mental block.  In a way it’s good to hear that it’s not just me.

beanielou

Well done on saying no & doing those expenses. 🤗🤗

rachmac3

Wow @Thriftymissus ! That sounds like amazing progress! You should feel very proud of yourself.

Thriftymissus

in_need_of_direction said:

Many thanks for your honesty. As a self employed person, I do the client stuff but ridiculously put off doing expenses or paying myself.  It’s a completely irrational mental block.  In a way it’s good to hear that it’s not just me.

Thank you. That’s really thoughtful of you. I’m thinking now that it’s not irrational or ridiculous. We are too hard on ourselves... I read somewhere that procrastination in general can be a trauma or depression response, I’m giving myself permission to get better — I’m sure if I’d shared how awful I’ve been feeling, how much money I’ve owed and how difficult I have been finding these things, with any of the wonderful people in my life who care for me, I wouldn’t have put so much off, I should have let people listen ❤️

Thriftymissus

Well done on saying no & doing those expenses. 🤗🤗

Yay thank you @beanielou, it’s good to share these positive steps. 💐

Thriftymissus

rachmac3 said:

Wow @Thriftymissus ! That sounds like amazing progress! You should feel very proud of yourself.

Thank you @rachmac3 for reading and your kind words saying this. We are so hard on ourselves aren’t we? I hope we can all recognise at some point, doing our best is good enough. 💐

Thriftymissus

Good morning to anyone reading. Have decided to update as I am in a positive 'let's get it done' mood!
I have 3 sold item parcels to send, am going to use Evri for the first time in months. I have a list of everything I want to do today, including some admin I have been putting off that is needed to chase £225 of work done back in November, which involves filling in forms for payment systems, I have not once attempted to do this, pushing it to the back of my mind instead, which sounds stupid but is so very typical of me. This evening I have booked into water aerobics at a leisure centre but am already feeling the urge to cancel...I had said I would cancel this membership to save £32 a month and right now that is a much more appealing option. I am going to follow up on prospective work today as well from people who were really keen some weeks ago but inevitably have gone quiet. Today is my 14th NSD in February. My partner is going shopping but I pay him a set fee for this at the start of the month then give him a list of what I'd like along with his regular buys of basics, meat, drinks etc -- suits me really well, he never asks for more, I have offered but he turns down any extra. I also pay a set amount in the same overall payment for household bills, which I consider a really sound and kind way of doing things, it was all added up and worked out properly and bundled into one payment. I also have some really interesting work remaining in February so I am very lucky. Went for a beautiful meal yesterday as a belated birthday treat and didn't contribute at all, as well as being given a box of chocolates -- so I have a lot to be grateful for, I have another meal out with family next Saturday, which again will be another present from my birthday back towards the start of February. I feel like I am having some respite from family heartache but do have some medical issues to tackle -- I have been putting these off as well as my anxiety has gone off the scale at times when I address them. 

In terms of gratitude, I am thankful it looks like it's going to be a nice day today, weather-wise, I am in the warm and my partner is here and happy and well, happy to have seen family yesterday and proud of my children.

Thriftymissus

Hello. I’m now at £4,724 left to pay off from my debt which was at £7881 at the end of December and around £23,000 12 months before. 

I’ve been tighter than I could have ever imagined with my income since Christmas, with no haircuts sought,  no ready meals, takeaway drinks, lunch deals or chocolate bars grabbed, or meals out paid for (except a sad KFC to supposedly ease my stress after a draining working day the other week.) I’ve compared petrol prices, used TooGoodToGo bags and sold stuff each week online. I’ve done surveys and studies in the middle of the night, I’ve got refunds from a couple of things lurking at home and meal planned for every day. I’m ever so slightly knack*red.

This has come at the same time as an improvement in my emotional health which is meaning I can also increase my income. I’m still catastrophising though as when I went to cancel a £32 a month council leisure club membership, instead of thinking about what a good thing to do this was, I was overthinking about how much money I’ve wasted. 

I think it’s pretty obvious I have an addictive personality and it’s fair to say I’ve been obsessing over this debt after too long a time burying my head in the sand. But at the same time, I also recognise there are worse ‘addictions’ than getting out of debt.

cheers x 

beanielou

That’s a great reduction. Well done.