Estranged

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Not need in the legal sense, but for my Dad and my own position. If my instinct is correct, the cash is all but rinsed. I believe my brother's plan would have been to scarper once there's no more he can take, and leave me to take over the ruins. Then I would be spending my own funds on my Dad, after my brother had rinsed him dry.  As I mentioned I was ambushed and expected to give my decision on the spot, I didn't at that point know what being the 'substitute' in a PoA entailed. My Father refused point blank to do one when I wanted him to! (and he actually needed one to formalise things). 

There was no reason to hide the fact that my Brother had arranged a will outside of my knowledge, there was also no reason to pretend he hadn't arranged one, and no reason to hide the solicitor, or where it is being kept. Either it's a soppy power play, or my brother does have things to hide (as I see it).

If my brother wasn't around I'd be seeing my Father regularly, perhaps every day. But this triangle is a no win situation, I can't see how I could visit my Father without things blowing up. We are on speaking terms in regard to text messaging and if my Father answers the phone. I suppose I am not personally strong enough to cope with the imbalance of being the lower class (older) brother, dancing to the tune of my younger brother. Knowing my Father thinks I'm evil, and the bad one. There may be better people than I who could cope with that, but it's outside of my scope to have my dignity eroded in such a fashion. I just hope it's all a power play, and my Father has been getting the best things for him that his money can buy. 

To give you a flavour of how my Brother is, my Father stayed with him after our loss for a few weeks in his spare room (for company etc), and charged him for food and keep. 

elsien

Playing devil's advocate here,  do you know your brother "charged" him, or did your father want to to pay his way?
I am basing this on when my mother lived with me for 6 months  - she could have stayed for nothing but she insisted on paying towards the extra expenses. 

Why would you be spending your own  money on your father because there is no obligation on you to do so.
 I also don't understand why you declined to act as replacement LPA if they wouldn't tell you what is in the will, because the two have nothing to do with each other. LPA is supporting before death and ends at the point of death. The will is irrelevant at that point.   Can you see how that might sound even if it was not your intention  -  "I'll only help you with your money now if you tell me what I might inherit in the future."   

With regards to visiting, what is more important to you - visiting to check he is ok or preserving your dignity?  Although if he is moving into care, that should make visiting easier anyway? 

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Don't forget that we both had access to Father's accounts at that point, moving money where needed, there was a lot going on. So my Brother just took the money for food and keep. I saw the personal transfer to their account and questioned what it was for. My Father said that my Brother asked if it was okay to take it. So it was immoral in my view, but not illegal. 

As far as potentially spending money on my Father in the future, no not obligated to do so, but I wouldn't leave my Father short of anything he needed/wanted, when I have the means to do something about it.

I explained on the call that I wanted to find out what being the 'replacement' in a PoA exactly entailed. I had no option to do that, my Brother said it was a yes or no right there and then, or they would go ahead without my involvement. 

There was no will at that point (as far as I knew). Of course there was, but they kept me in the dark. It seemed the most logical pathway, sort the will and then sort the PoA, so everyone knew where they stood. Don't forget that my Father had gone from no interest in a PoA at all, to deciding it had to be completed on that day, with me being the sub son. When I was the person trying to get it sorted when it was originally needed. There's only two of us and it would be split equally intestate, I just wanted to formalise things given the history up to then. The less I'd have to do with my Brother, the better. This was all split second decision making and I guess I wanted to stall things to figure out what my Brother was up to. My instinct was right again, there was something going on as it transpired. 

I don't see how I could have approached it much differently. Once I pulled out of using my Fathers accounts, impersonating him, using his cash card etc, that was effectively the end of my direct influence. My Brother got what he wanted, full control.  

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Property is now on the retail market. Intriguingly, completely empty and refurbished to a pretty high spec (from what I can see from the pics and agent video tour).