Remortgage and Transfer of Equity issue

eddiedoherty

Grab a stiff drink, sit down and strap in... this is going to be a bumpy ride!

Background; I bought my house back in 1995 on a joint mortgage with my wife. We had budgeted for everything that we could imagine (Martin would be pleased!) and she agreed to pay me £400 and then everything would come out of my account. This lasted for, at most, 2 months, after which she quit her job and hasn't paid ANYTHING since! She left in 2008 and, at one point, tried to divorce me to repay her dad £35K that he borrowed to pay for private medical care for her. This was then cancelled, possibly due to me recording her admitting she lied on her affidavit. There has only been sporadic contact since then. She now lives alone in her parents house, now hers, following their passing.

I need to remortgage my (our) house to do some urgent repairs, improvements and general updating. I was told by my lender that a Transfer of Equity would be needed to remove her name from the deeds before I could proceed on my own. I informed her of this in person and said that I would be making further enquiries with experts at a property show, and would obviously pay for any fees involved. She agreed to it at this point, however, I know her of old and she does have mental health issues, but took her at her word. I was informed at the show that step one was indeed to do the transfer to remove her, and I went back to tell her and she again agreed to co-operate. As my current lender wasn't offering enough, I used a broker who found me a great offer which was approved in record time and I have subsequently paid the broker £495 and the new lenders solicitors around £200 in fees to handle the Transfer of Equity.

They sent me out the paperwork and request for verified documents. Not a problem for me, but I knew that it would potentially be an issue with my estranged wife, as she rarely leaves her house, except for hospital appointments where transport is most likely arranged. I went back round to explain the process, taking my neighbour as backup, as she was friendly with her when she lived with me, and reassured her that I would be paying for all the involved fees as long as she continued to co-operate and didn't try to mess me around, as she has constantly done in the past on various matters. We offered to drive her to my neighbours solicitors office, where they would come down to her, get the documents verified/witnessed, and drive her back. We also suggested that she could get someone to go through it with her, such as her social worker if she had any concerns. She agreed to proceed, but, quite reasonably, asked for copies of the paperwork, which I said I would copy and drop in.

We arranged the appointment surprisingly quickly, and tried twice to phone her before going back round, as she had seemed put out by us just turning up. She didn't answer, so we went back, paperwork in hand to tell her about the appointment, with my neighbour suggesting that if she behaves in a similar way to how she has in the past, that I just walk away to not enflame the situation. It didn't take very long! She kicked off big time! "Why do I have to do this?", "Who is representing me?" etc, etc. It was clear that it was never going to be as simple as she made it appear, and she stated that she couldn't leave the house, so I went to sit in the car across the road, but could still hear my poor neighbour getting both barrels for a further 10 minutes before she returned to the car. She was so upset by her behaviour that she now refuses to go back there! Apparently, she wasn't refusing to sign the paperwork (not much!) but wanted someone to go through it with her, which was fair enough, but we did suggest as much beforehand.

I have been getting constant reminders from the intended new lenders solicitors, asking for the completed documents before they can proceed, and have always updated both them and the broker of the situation. Naturally, the appointment had to be cancelled, but the solicitor stated that she could arrange a home visit some time in the near future to get it completed. I left it a month before returning alone just before Xmas, to be greeted with "Why are you here?" (obvious) and "SHOULD you be here?" (Well, how else do we sort this out?) She appeared somewhat calmer, and I again explained her legal responsibilities as a joint mortgage holder, and that the action I was taking was required by the lender for me to sort out the issues that she had stated several times, she couldn't deal with, and that this would remove her legal responsibility for the property and mortgage debt! I also reminded her of the costs, not to mention stress involved if the matter had to be resolved in court, stating that neither of us wanted or needed that (I was diagnosed with stress-related depression when she tries to divorce me). She agreed yet again to proceed, but only if the solicitor did a home visit, which I said that I would arrange after the Xmas break and thanked her and went home. All peaceful and hopeful. Yeah, right!

Come the New Year after I returned to work, I planned to make the appointment, but returned home to find a message from a police officer on my phone, saying not to panic, but to call him back. She tried to report me for harassment!!! He told her that there were absolutely no grounds for an arrest and no action would be taken, and explained that he tried to reason with her, but found that there IS no reasoning with her (his words) and suggested that I try to continue without any further direct contact, or, if it is unavoidable, to take a witness along. Because THAT worked out so well last time! I am livid! However, it was pretty much expected from her, unfortunately. She has a long history of drama and theatrics, being manipulative, and can't be trusted. If she says the sky is blue and water is wet... get a second opinion! Having received another reminder from the lenders solicitor, which now stated that if it wasn't received within 7 days, they would assume I no longer wanted to proceed and would close the case, I updated them and the broker of her latest behaviour and they are now insisting that she gets a solicitor and that they will only liaise directly with them! She'll never do that!

So it looks as if my only option is to try to settle it through legal action? I had a slim hope that if she received a letter from a solicitor or from some sort of mediator who could represent her interests as well as support my reasons for remortgaging, that it may just give her the kick into reality that was needed. However, the solicitor I was going to use for the home visit has messed me around and not replied to my request for help, so I tried another one who couldn't understand what she hoped to achieve and said they could definitely help. Great! Then they asked for £500 on account to get started! NOT great! I only wanted a letter at first? They did suggest a local Law Society could do this FOR FREE, but they declined to help. I have contacted a mediator firm, but they have stated that due to her mental health, a solicitor would be my best option.

I was also told by the solicitor that if it went to court, which, given the time involved, would mean that my mortgage offer would have expired and I would lose the £700 I have already paid out, that, as it was classed as Family Law, I couldn't ask for the costs to be met by her! How is that fair? She is causing all of this by her actions/inaction. And the likelihood is that she would just ignore any letters and court paperwork, so I would win anyway, which I fully expect to do regardless, but have to pay the bill. She has already cost me £144K in missed mortgage contributions over the last 30 years (I had to extend it to 35 years when she quit her job.) Can I then take her to a Small Claims Court to recoup my losses? Well, yes, but the advice I read on the MSE website stated that I should look at whether the person is in a position to pay before wasting my time and money, so I am stuffed again! This should be a simple matter, and relatively inexpensive to sort out, but she is being completely obstructive for no reason.

This is also affecting my own health and I have always felt physically sick whenever I have had to go round to see her, and just discussing this with my neighbour gets me extremely agitated! I want a divorce more than anything now. That can also be a relatively straightforward thing these days, with the No Fault divorce introduced, but that only applies where BOTH parties can agree. Anyone want to place a bet on how that will go?

So... are you still with me? Jeez, I have to get up for work in an hour and a half!

Any suggestions are most welcome, and if you've made it to the end... thank you for your patience!

Kind regards,

Eddie

MWT

I know this is going to be frustrating, but your wife is going to need independent advice from her own solicitor, and that solicitor is going to have to be satisfied that she fully understands what she is giving up by agreeing to the transfer of equity, it isn't going to be as simple as driving her to an appointment with a solicitor you or your neighbour has arranged...

It sounds like that is going to be difficult to achieve, and you may well find that the time has come to deal with the divorce and get an agreed financial settlement, which is also going to be difficult/expensive, but at least she has her own home now so that will help.

 

Hoenir

Bottom line is that you need to formally divorce and have a financial consent order drafted. You could have moved on with your life many years ago. Leaving it so long is of benefit to your ex unfortunately.  Find a good local family law solicitor to advise you. 

BikingBud

Perhaps as the house she now lives in appears to be hers, the prospect of a divorce settlement correctly considering that house part of the assets to be assessed and distributed might provide the leverage to agree a clean break where you both step away with what you currently have.

Might be quicker and less painful and give you the freedom to move on in many ways.