Elderly neighbour credit card debt

Golactico

Good morning. My housebound 80 yr old neighbour lives alone and is currently in hospital. When feeding her cat, I noticed a letter from a debt company asking her to get in touch about a credit card debt of over £9K. A further letter from the same company has since arrived, which obviously remains unopened. I believe that this lady only has her State pension for income, although I gather that her utility bills are taken care of by her estranged husband's family. Her husband is in a home with severe dementia. 
Although loath to get involved, I want to help this lady sort this debt out, on her return from hospital. She has no close family or friends of her own and I think her husband's family sort her utility bills out of a sense of moral obligation - I am aware that they don't get on with her and would have no interest in assisting her with this debt. The house she lives in is mortgage free and in her and her husband's name.

Any advice on how I should approach this, gratefully received.

Emmia

This really is absolutely none of your business. I'd not get involved. Your neighbour may not take kindly to your snooping through their mail.

If she asks for help or opens up on the issue, then you can try to assist with guidance, but until then, stay out of it.

FlorayG

Did she ask you to open her mail? If not then do nothing. Maybe when she is home ask some general questions about how is she, is she OK for 'everything' ( don't be specific) and only actually get involved if she asks. She might be horrified to find out you know about her financial problems

elsien

To be fair to the OP, it doesn’t sound like they opened the neighbours mail, it sounds like there was a letter already open on the side somewhere which they noticed. That is my charitable interpretation anyway.
I think maybe you could start off by just saying if there’s ever anything else you can to do to help, without specifically mentioning finances. Bit of shopping when she comes out of hospital, friendly listening ear, looking up information if she’s not tech savvy, that sort of thing. 

It’s very private and there needs to be trust in a relationship before she might even think about wanting to ask for support. And she may never ask, which is her prerogative. All you can do is leave the door open..

fatbelly

Does she want to deal with it? Does she want you to deal with it?

You really don't know the answers to those questions.

If she has no surplus income and has already not paid or otherwise acknowledged the debt for several years then her best strategy is to continue as she is and try to get to the 6-year point.

But you really don't have enough information. Note there are a lot of scam letters at the moment from companies trying to extract money from people for debts that are either not theirs or are statute barred

Golactico

I deliberately skirted over some information, in the interest of brevity. It was actually the carer who pops in to her twice a week that brought the letter to my attention just before Christmas. The carer said that the lady was worried about the letter and was going to ask me what she should do about it. The next day she had a fall and was admitted to hospital, where she's been ever since. I just don't want her coming home without some sort of strategy to deal with this issue, that will be a major concern for her.

FlorayG

Golactico said:

I deliberately skirted over some information, in the interest of brevity. It was actually the carer who pops in to her twice a week that brought the letter to my attention just before Christmas. The carer said that the lady was worried about the letter and was going to ask me what she should do about it. The next day she had a fall and was admitted to hospital, where she's been ever since. I just don't want her coming home without some sort of strategy to deal with this issue, that will be a major concern for her.

If the lady really wants your help then she will ask when she comes home. Meanwhile the best you can do is research the options so you are ready to help when and if she asks

EssexHebridean

In your situation, I would probably start by mentioning how many really worrying scams there are at the moment, and letting her know that if ever she got a call or a letter which she was worried might not be legitimate, she was always welcome to ask me what I thought about it. I'd probably leave it at that then - the door would have been opened for a conversation, but ultimately until she does ask for your help, it isn't, bluntly, any of your business. 

We have a saying here - "You can't have a lightbulb moment for someone else" - and that is certainly true when so far as that someone else knows, you know nothing of their situation! 

While you shouldn't have read the letter of course, it is to your credit that you want to help, it's just that it isn't the sort of help that you can offer uninvited. 

Golactico

EssexHebridean said:

In your situation, I would probably start by mentioning how many really worrying scams there are at the moment, and letting her know that if ever she got a call or a letter which she was worried might not be legitimate, she was always welcome to ask me what I thought about it. I'd probably leave it at that then - the door would have been opened for a conversation, but ultimately until she does ask for your help, it isn't, bluntly, any of your business. 

We have a saying here - "You can't have a lightbulb moment for someone else" - and that is certainly true when so far as that someone else knows, you know nothing of their situation! 

While you shouldn't have read the letter of course, it is to your credit that you want to help, it's just that it isn't the sort of help that you can offer uninvited. 

I don't know if you saw my follow up post, but I read the letter because the carer showed it to me, at the request of the lady concerned. Although circumstances have meant that I've not spoken directly to her about it (she's in hospital), I am as confident as I can be that as far as the lady is concerned, she very much wants this issue to be my business.

I'm really looking for advice on what I should say if I call the debt company on her behalf (with her consent)?. Are they likely to accept a repayment plan involving a nominal amount? What bearing does it have, the fact that she is income poor, but has the significant, but inaccessible, asset of part ownership of her house?

Grumpelstiltskin

Never phone these people, it will only make things worse, the call centre people you speak to only want one thing, money.

Voyager2002

Golactico said:

EssexHebridean said:

In your situation, I would probably start by mentioning how many really worrying scams there are at the moment, and letting her know that if ever she got a call or a letter which she was worried might not be legitimate, she was always welcome to ask me what I thought about it. I'd probably leave it at that then - the door would have been opened for a conversation, but ultimately until she does ask for your help, it isn't, bluntly, any of your business. 

We have a saying here - "You can't have a lightbulb moment for someone else" - and that is certainly true when so far as that someone else knows, you know nothing of their situation! 

While you shouldn't have read the letter of course, it is to your credit that you want to help, it's just that it isn't the sort of help that you can offer uninvited. 

I don't know if you saw my follow up post, but I read the letter because the carer showed it to me, at the request of the lady concerned. Although circumstances have meant that I've not spoken directly to her about it (she's in hospital), I am as confident as I can be that as far as the lady is concerned, she very much wants this issue to be my business.

I'm really looking for advice on what I should say if I call the debt company on her behalf (with her consent)?. Are they likely to accept a repayment plan involving a nominal amount? What bearing does it have, the fact that she is income poor, but has the significant, but inaccessible, asset of part ownership of her house?

You should absolutely not offer any payments: that would be "acknowledging the debt". It might be fraud, or it might be a very old debt and so statute-barred. Any payments, or even an offer in writing to make payments, would make enforcement action possible.