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Facing up to my Debt, before its out control
Abstractly
Posts: 5 Forumite
Hello,
I'd appreciate some advice on how to get started on trying to tackle my debt. Some backstory, my partner has been out of work for almost a year due to mental health and addiction issues. We have been unable to get much support from UC other than a few hundred each month, which isn't enough to cover our outgoings. My partner has his own debt accrued due to his addiction and MH and all of this is in the process of defaulting, most of which has been set up with a small payment (hence the £80 charge per month for his debt).
I am at the point where our current budget is already going to be in minus amounts before I start, and we are using the Barclaycard monthly to cover the shortfall, hoping that he would be able to get a job to help make that better.
I think that's unlikely to happen any time soon and would like to try and take control before it escalates further.
I've read the advice about defaulting on payments and save the spare money to build an emergency budget, I guess that's most likely my only option here?
Do I need to be concerned that this is something my partner has already done? Does it increase the risk or change whether that's good advise or not?
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
A couple of things to note:
*We have just renewed our mortgage on a 5 year deal in October.
*Mobile phone covers 3 phones
*Grocery budget tends to cover any extras you get from a supermarket and any other things that pop up.
Below is my SOA:
I'd appreciate some advice on how to get started on trying to tackle my debt. Some backstory, my partner has been out of work for almost a year due to mental health and addiction issues. We have been unable to get much support from UC other than a few hundred each month, which isn't enough to cover our outgoings. My partner has his own debt accrued due to his addiction and MH and all of this is in the process of defaulting, most of which has been set up with a small payment (hence the £80 charge per month for his debt).
I am at the point where our current budget is already going to be in minus amounts before I start, and we are using the Barclaycard monthly to cover the shortfall, hoping that he would be able to get a job to help make that better.
I think that's unlikely to happen any time soon and would like to try and take control before it escalates further.
I've read the advice about defaulting on payments and save the spare money to build an emergency budget, I guess that's most likely my only option here?
Do I need to be concerned that this is something my partner has already done? Does it increase the risk or change whether that's good advise or not?
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
A couple of things to note:
*We have just renewed our mortgage on a 5 year deal in October.
*Mobile phone covers 3 phones
*Grocery budget tends to cover any extras you get from a supermarket and any other things that pop up.
Below is my SOA:
[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]
Household Information[/b]
Number of adults in household........... 2
Number of children in household......... 2
Number of cars owned.................... 1[b]
Monthly Income Details[/b]
Monthly income after tax................ 2098
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 470
Other income............................ 0[b]
Total monthly income.................... 2568[/b][b]
Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Mortgage................................ 598
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0
Rent.................................... 0
Management charge (leasehold property).. 122
Council tax............................. 191
Electricity............................. 100
Gas..................................... 60
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 93
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 33
TV Licence.............................. 15
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 25
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 500
Clothing................................ 50
Petrol/diesel........................... 150
Road tax................................ 13.17
Car Insurance........................... 33.49
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 87
Childcare/nursery....................... 37
Other child related expenses............ 95
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 16
Buildings insurance..................... 24
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 16
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 50
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 19.99
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
(Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0
Bank.................................... 22
Gym..................................... 20[b]
Total monthly expenses.................. 2390.65[/b]
[b]
Assets[/b]
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 260000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 500
Other assets............................ 0[b]
Total Assets............................ 260500[/b]
[b]
Secured & HP Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
Mortgage...................... 80000....(598)......4.12[b]
Total secured & HP debts...... 80000.....-.........- [/b]
[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR
MBNA ..........................9729......97.29.....0
Barclaycard....................1400......44........22
Natwest........................3750......37........0
First Direct Overdraft..........250.......0.........24
Partners Debt Mngmnt...........40000.....80........0
Carpet.........................1491......68........0
Virgin 2.......................4777.42...47.42.....0
Virgin 1.......................4286......42.86.....0[b]
0
Comments
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If your partner is unemployed why is he paying £80 monthly towards his debts?If you go down to the woods today you better not go alone.1
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You've only posted half the soa but I can see there is c. 180 pm available, which is not enough to pay the contractual amounts.
So standard advice is stop paying and save for a few months into an emergency fund
On your partner's debts I would lean on the M health issue and ask for write-offs. See this
https://nationaldebtline.org/get-information/guides/debt-and-mental-health-ew/1 -
I think that's unlikely to happen any time soon and would like to try and take control before it escalates further
That approach and posting the Statement of Affairs is the best possible start to this process.
Do I need to be concerned that this is something my partner has already done? Does it increase the risk or change whether that's good advise or not?
No it doesnt change whats right for you
If your partner has been out of work for a year and his mental health problems arent improving, do you think they will realistically in the next year, or is this your new nor"? Do you mind saying what the addiction was and if he is over it? Does he have a few large debts or a lot of small ones and how many have been sold to debt collectors? At some point it may be reasonable to ask for write offs.
Some of your expenses lines look too tight for a long term debt problem:Groceries etc. ......................... 500 - that is a very round figure, what do you actually spend. not what you think you ought to spend? It includes cleaning, toiletries, pet food.Clothing................................ 50 - if that includes clothes for the children, it isnt enoughCar maintenance (including MOT)......... 20 your car must be pretty old if its only worth 500Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0 unsafeHaircuts................................ 0 you cut everyone's hair?Entertainment........................... 19.99 that is very specific, is it a streaming service of something? you have no money in for treats or the odd day out?Emergency fund.......................... 0 unsafe with a house, a car, kids and a pet.
I suspect if you put reasonable amounts in for them your apparent surplus will disappear.
0 -
There is a lot of very round figures here, but see comments in bold...Abstractly said:
A couple of things to note:
*We have just renewed our mortgage on a 5 year deal in October.
*Mobile phone covers 3 phones
*Grocery budget tends to cover any extras you get from a supermarket and any other things that pop up. "Any other things that pop up" should either be budgeted for, or should be coming from an emergency fud if they come under the heading of genuinely unforseeable and an emergency purchase. Adding effectively a contingency budget like this isn't helpful and doesn't really work for effective budgeting.
Below is my SOA:[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]Household Information[/b]Number of adults in household........... 2Number of children in household......... 2Number of cars owned.................... 1[b]Monthly Income Details[/b]Monthly income after tax................ 2098Partners monthly income after tax....... 0Benefits................................ 470 have you used a benefits checker to ensure that you are getting everything you should - this applies to your partner too.Other income............................ 0[b]Total monthly income.................... 2568[/b][b]Monthly Expense Details[/b]Mortgage................................ 598Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0Rent.................................... 0Management charge (leasehold property).. 122Council tax............................. 191 Is this paid over 10 months or 12? If 10, you have two "free" months coming up - and you should contact your local authority to request them to swap you to payment over 12 months going forwards.Electricity............................. 100 This combined with gas seem a little on the high side - make sure that you check that billing is accurate and based on actual reads - this applies even if you have a smart meter!Gas..................................... 60Oil..................................... 0Water rates............................. 93 Ouch - this is a lot. I assume this is not metered? It may be worth looking to get switched to a metered supply as it might well save you money - have a chat to local pals with similar home/family set-ups to see what they pay.Telephone (land line)................... 0Mobile phone............................ 33 Well done - this is good for three phones!TV Licence.............................. 15 Are you sure this is accurate? I think this should be £14.XX - be cautious about rounding figures on the SOA as it leads to a creeping inaccuracy by the time you get to the end of it!Satellite/Cable TV...................... 25Internet Services....................... 0Groceries etc. ......................... 500 As already touched on, this needs refining to get the proper amount, with the "other stuff" budgeted properly!Clothing................................ 50 Is this just a "socks and pants" budget for you & OH plus stuff for the kids? For younger children in particular charity shops and eBay can be a good source of budget friendly clothing, and make sure that you make full use of hand-me-downs from older to younger, too!Petrol/diesel........................... 150Road tax................................ 13.17 You don't pay this monthly I hope? It costs more to do so!Car Insurance........................... 33.49Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20 This is not enough to cover for the mileage you are doing.Car parking............................. 0Other travel............................ 87Childcare/nursery....................... 37Other child related expenses............ 95Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0Pet insurance/vet bills................. 16Buildings insurance..................... 24 Hopefully this is combined buildings and contents?Contents insurance...................... 0Life assurance ......................... 16Other insurance......................... 0Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 50 I think you need to start lowering expectations around presents from now - at least to a degree, and then make sure that what goes in to this pot covers ALL costs relating to christmas - food and everything.Haircuts................................ 0 Nobody ever has paid haircuts at all?Entertainment........................... 19.99Holiday................................. 0 You never go anywhere, not even a trip to visit family or friends?Emergency fund.......................... 0 You need to start budgeting here.(Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0Bank.................................... 22 What value are you getting that is worth this amount?Gym..................................... 20[b]Total monthly expenses.................. 2390.65[/b][b]Assets[/b]Cash.................................... 0House value (Gross)..................... 260000Shares and bonds........................ 0Car(s).................................. 500Other assets............................ 0[b]Total Assets............................ 260500[/b][b]Secured & HP Debts[/b]Description....................Debt......Monthly...APRMortgage...................... 80000....(598)......4.12[b]Total secured & HP debts...... 80000.....-.........- [/b][b]Unsecured Debts[/b]Description....................Debt......Monthly...APRMBNA ..........................9729......97.29.....0Barclaycard....................1400......44........22Natwest........................3750......37........0First Direct Overdraft..........250.......0.........24Partners Debt Mngmnt...........40000.....80........0Carpet.........................1491......68........0Virgin 2.......................4777.42...47.42.....0Virgin 1.......................4286......42.86.....0[b]🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00 Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00
Balance as at 31/08/24 = £105,400.00 Balance as at 31/12/24 = £102,500.00
£100k barrier broken 1/4/25SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculatorshe/her0 -
They are all debts that have been sold onto companies like Wescott. We started setting them up when he did have a job. I thought that was our only option with them.Grumpelstiltskin said:If your partner is unemployed why is he paying £80 monthly towards his debts?0 -
OK Get him to stop paying them NOWAbstractly said:
They are all debts that have been sold onto companies like Wescott. We started setting them up when he did have a job. I thought that was our only option with them.Grumpelstiltskin said:If your partner is unemployed why is he paying £80 monthly towards his debts?If you go down to the woods today you better not go alone.2 -
Yes - this ^^. Stop the DDs immediately - he can't be paying to debt when he has no income to pay from!Grumpelstiltskin said:
OK Get him to stop paying them NOWAbstractly said:
They are all debts that have been sold onto companies like Wescott. We started setting them up when he did have a job. I thought that was our only option with them.Grumpelstiltskin said:If your partner is unemployed why is he paying £80 monthly towards his debts?🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00 Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00
Balance as at 31/08/24 = £105,400.00 Balance as at 31/12/24 = £102,500.00
£100k barrier broken 1/4/25SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculatorshe/her1 -
Up until the point he lost his job, I had reasonable plan with the debts, keeping a minimum of £1000 emergency fund and putting away enough each month to cover for extras and paying off a significant amount of debt. Originally we were close to £40,000 in debt but I managed to get it down to just under £20,000.ManyWays said:I think that's unlikely to happen any time soon and would like to try and take control before it escalates further
That approach and posting the Statement of Affairs is the best possible start to this process.
Do I need to be concerned that this is something my partner has already done? Does it increase the risk or change whether that's good advise or not?
No it doesnt change whats right for you
If your partner has been out of work for a year and his mental health problems arent improving, do you think they will realistically in the next year, or is this your new nor"? Do you mind saying what the addiction was and if he is over it? Does he have a few large debts or a lot of small ones and how many have been sold to debt collectors? At some point it may be reasonable to ask for write offs.
Some of your expenses lines look too tight for a long term debt problem:Groceries etc. ......................... 500 - that is a very round figure, what do you actually spend. not what you think you ought to spend? It includes cleaning, toiletries, pet food.Clothing................................ 50 - if that includes clothes for the children, it isnt enoughCar maintenance (including MOT)......... 20 your car must be pretty old if its only worth 500Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0 unsafeHaircuts................................ 0 you cut everyone's hair?Entertainment........................... 19.99 that is very specific, is it a streaming service of something? you have no money in for treats or the odd day out?Emergency fund.......................... 0 unsafe with a house, a car, kids and a pet.
I suspect if you put reasonable amounts in for them your apparent surplus will disappear.
We were hoping him being out of work would be temporary but I don't think I can rely on that. He is trying again to get work, but still struggles with his mental health. He had a high paying, high demanding job where the culture was to take cocaine to cope with it. Unfortunately that caught up with him and that along with online gambling is how he accrued his debt. His debt now have all been sold and these are payments made to people like Wescott.
If he doesn't continue to improve for the next 6 months or so we may have to look at separating and splitting our assets. Which would most likely mean selling the house, as I can't remortgage on my own right now anyway.
Car - Is falling apart. About to fail its MOT I think I'd be lucky if I got that amount for it tbh. 2012 Vauxhall Astra.
Groceries - That's the budget, but I haven't looked at how much I actually spend in total. If I need something I have been using my credit card.
Haircuts - I last used my birthday/christmas money to pay for my Daughters and sons haircuts. My partner cuts his own.
I realise there isn't enough to cope with things going wrong or cover extra costs, but had no idea that there was another option than juggling money around or just about paying minimums. Or selling my house.0 -
My car is 2012 and I still view it as 'quite new'
It's unlikely an Astra of that vintage would need scrapping but will need maintenance, which is why you need to budget for it and build a fund1 -
Thank you appreciate you taking the time to advise.EssexHebridean said:
There is a lot of very round figures here, but see comments in bold...Abstractly said:
A couple of things to note:
*We have just renewed our mortgage on a 5 year deal in October.
*Mobile phone covers 3 phones
*Grocery budget tends to cover any extras you get from a supermarket and any other things that pop up. "Any other things that pop up" should either be budgeted for, or should be coming from an emergency fud if they come under the heading of genuinely unforseeable and an emergency purchase. Adding effectively a contingency budget like this isn't helpful and doesn't really work for effective budgeting.
Below is my SOA:[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]Household Information[/b]Number of adults in household........... 2Number of children in household......... 2Number of cars owned.................... 1[b]Monthly Income Details[/b]Monthly income after tax................ 2098Partners monthly income after tax....... 0Benefits................................ 470 have you used a benefits checker to ensure that you are getting everything you should - this applies to your partner too.Other income............................ 0[b]Total monthly income.................... 2568[/b][b]Monthly Expense Details[/b]Mortgage................................ 598Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0Rent.................................... 0Management charge (leasehold property).. 122Council tax............................. 191 Is this paid over 10 months or 12? If 10, you have two "free" months coming up - and you should contact your local authority to request them to swap you to payment over 12 months going forwards.Electricity............................. 100 This combined with gas seem a little on the high side - make sure that you check that billing is accurate and based on actual reads - this applies even if you have a smart meter!Gas..................................... 60Oil..................................... 0Water rates............................. 93 Ouch - this is a lot. I assume this is not metered? It may be worth looking to get switched to a metered supply as it might well save you money - have a chat to local pals with similar home/family set-ups to see what they pay.Telephone (land line)................... 0Mobile phone............................ 33 Well done - this is good for three phones!TV Licence.............................. 15 Are you sure this is accurate? I think this should be £14.XX - be cautious about rounding figures on the SOA as it leads to a creeping inaccuracy by the time you get to the end of it!Satellite/Cable TV...................... 25Internet Services....................... 0Groceries etc. ......................... 500 As already touched on, this needs refining to get the proper amount, with the "other stuff" budgeted properly!Clothing................................ 50 Is this just a "socks and pants" budget for you & OH plus stuff for the kids? For younger children in particular charity shops and eBay can be a good source of budget friendly clothing, and make sure that you make full use of hand-me-downs from older to younger, too!Petrol/diesel........................... 150Road tax................................ 13.17 You don't pay this monthly I hope? It costs more to do so!Car Insurance........................... 33.49Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 20 This is not enough to cover for the mileage you are doing.Car parking............................. 0Other travel............................ 87Childcare/nursery....................... 37Other child related expenses............ 95Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0Pet insurance/vet bills................. 16Buildings insurance..................... 24 Hopefully this is combined buildings and contents?Contents insurance...................... 0Life assurance ......................... 16Other insurance......................... 0Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 50 I think you need to start lowering expectations around presents from now - at least to a degree, and then make sure that what goes in to this pot covers ALL costs relating to christmas - food and everything.Haircuts................................ 0 Nobody ever has paid haircuts at all?Entertainment........................... 19.99Holiday................................. 0 You never go anywhere, not even a trip to visit family or friends?Emergency fund.......................... 0 You need to start budgeting here.(Unnamed monthly expense)............... 0Bank.................................... 22 What value are you getting that is worth this amount?Gym..................................... 20[b]Total monthly expenses.................. 2390.65[/b][b]Assets[/b]Cash.................................... 0House value (Gross)..................... 260000Shares and bonds........................ 0Car(s).................................. 500Other assets............................ 0[b]Total Assets............................ 260500[/b][b]Secured & HP Debts[/b]Description....................Debt......Monthly...APRMortgage...................... 80000....(598)......4.12[b]Total secured & HP debts...... 80000.....-.........- [/b][b]Unsecured Debts[/b]Description....................Debt......Monthly...APRMBNA ..........................9729......97.29.....0Barclaycard....................1400......44........22Natwest........................3750......37........0First Direct Overdraft..........250.......0.........24Partners Debt Mngmnt...........40000.....80........0Carpet.........................1491......68........0Virgin 2.......................4777.42...47.42.....0Virgin 1.......................4286......42.86.....0[b]
Honestly most of these answers are I have just gotten by month to month. I used to have a budget for all of these things, originally started the year with an emergency fund, that I was able to dip into and top back up. I had two bonuses at work which covered the shortfall also. I really was hoping we would just be able to get by and pick up a proper budget again once my partner got a new job.
Apologies for the round figures, they are mostly copied from my budget which displays it rounded up.
The council tax works in my favour as I live in a new build so have to pay a management fee for the year ahead so I use these months to cover that cost.
Bank.................................... 22 What value are you getting that is worth this amount?
For this I get mobile phone insurance, Travel and Car breakdown cover as well as cashback each month on bills.0
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