Advice required regards employment situation rights - location of work

Hoenir

Mistermeaner said:

I’ve also not ‘refused to go to the office’ or any such confrontational insubordination- I’ve just set limits on stuff , eg on a Monday I’ve been asked to attend a meeting onsite Thursday and said I’m sorry I’m only here until Wednesday but can join via teams etc 

As someone in the organisation with seniority. Should never be underestimated as to the standards of professional conduct that are required.  You work for the organisation not them for you. 

Mistermeaner

It’s fascinating getting the views on different folk on here especially regards the attitude to work and expectations of what is reasonable 

Ref the above post - from my perspective I’ve pre booked to be at a location 3 hrs from home and my designated place of work for a couple of days to attend specific meetings. This involves organising my family to manage without me , Inc child care etc as well as a night away for me and long days driving out of hours. There is no way I would consider it reasonable to at short notice add on an extra night away with all that entails for the time impact on me and my family to attend a meeting which can just as easily be done on teams/phone 

it’s just interesting that some would see a problem with my attitude to this 

GingerTim

The important thing, I think, is not whether people on here think something is reasonable or not - but what your employer thinks and expects.

Grumpy_chap

Mistermeaner said:

It’s fascinating getting the views on different folk on here especially regards the attitude to work and expectations of what is reasonable 

Ref the above post - from my perspective I’ve pre booked to be at a location 3 hrs from home and my designated place of work for a couple of days to attend specific meetings. This involves organising my family to manage without me , Inc child care etc as well as a night away for me and long days driving out of hours. There is no way I would consider it reasonable to at short notice add on an extra night away with all that entails for the time impact on me and my family to attend a meeting which can just as easily be done on teams/phone 

it’s just interesting that some would see a problem with my attitude to this 

I think the issue is not around one individual event where you may have been reasonable and the request for the meeting on a later day in the week unreasonable.
The issue is around the wider situation.
You need to be able to see the situation from your own perspective but also from the perspective of others - colleagues, managers, the company view.  It was called empathy when I was at school.  I think it is now phrased "there is no I in Team".
You required the meeting to be held a day earlier to suit your presence in the office.  How much consideration did you give to the possibility that bring the meeting forward by one day may have been inconvenient for others?  
 - Did anyone need to rearrange other calendar entries to accommodate this meeting when it suited you?
 - Did anyone need to accelerate their preparation for the meeting to suit the earlier schedule?  
 - Did that accelerating the preparation for this meeting impact other work outputs and / or require another individual to work extra hours to meet the earlier deadline?

The wider situation here is that you have a job that is three hours from your home.  You feel you can attend the office 2 days in 2 weeks.  The employer requires a greater level of attendance at the office.
You have also indicated that you are in a senior role in the business and receive a generous salary package.  That probably influences the employer's (manager's) expectations of the level of personal sacrifice you will be prepared to make for the job.  For health and family reasons you are not able / willing to make that level of commitment to the job.  
Add to that your demotivation with the current role ("can't be bothered") and apparent "issues" noted by the employer (the two may be linked).

Good luck with your meeting later in the week.  It seems as though there are several ways this can go:

• You agree to be in the office full time and keep your job
• You leave on your terms - resign - no payout
• You leave on the employer's terms - good terms - payout
• You leave on the employer's terms - good terms - no payout
• You leave on the employer's terms - bad terms - payout
• You leave on the employer's terms - bad terms - no payout

From your comments and attitude as it comes across in the thread, you appear to be heading towards bad terms and no payout.
You have some influence over the way this progresses but changing the path will require some humility and empathy from your side.

squirrelpie

"You required the meeting to be held a day earlier to suit your presence in the office."

I don't think he did. He just offered it as one possible way to resolve a problem. Using remote meeting tools was another way he suggested. I see both those as constructive responses to a request made of him.

It seems to me that the relationship between his manager, the other manager, and their upwards management relationships are going to be most important in settling the situation.

Mistermeaner

Thanks , we’ll see I guess - the input on here is invaluable as it does shape my thinking and actions; I don’t nevcassarily disagree with anything but arguing my case on here and seeing the devils advocate is useful so thanks 

I would just iterate that my stated place of work in contract in writing is the local office. Being at the distant site 2-3 days a fortnight was a verbal discussion with my Line manager several years ago. It is by no means cut and dry that I must be at distant site full time. 

My work record reviews performance etc are documented at good or better. I have responsibilities beyond the distant site that are performed well. 

I have submitted my flexible working request yesterday , essentially asking to formalise the existing arrangements where I get additional flex from the official policy of 3 days a week in the office to help me manage my health. I have pledged to continue attending both work locations. 

For interest because of various requirements I am booked to be at the distant site 2 days a week for the next 5 weeks running 

I’ll keep this thread informed as to what transpires 

Grumpy_chap

squirrelpie said:

"You required the meeting to be held a day earlier to suit your presence in the office."

I don't think he did. He just offered it as one possible way to resolve a problem. Using remote meeting tools was another way he suggested. I see both those as constructive responses to a request made of him.

Maybe having the meeting one day earlier was one possible solution.

The real context is not one meeting but the whole.  More telling is the OP's statement "I have set limits".  Every time the OP mentions their actions it is in a self-centred phraseology with no consideration that their actions impact the team.  Ultimately, the OP has a job three hours drive away from home and is willing to attend the office for two days in every two weeks.  The employer requires the OP to be in the office more than this.

Add to that the OP is in a "senior" position and has a salary >£100k per year.  Such roles are going to be demanding and require a level of personal commitment and sacrifice and not successfully fulfilled by an individual who "can't be bothered".

You are correct that managing the relationship upward are going to be key.  The individuals up the tree have all the bargaining power here.  The OP needs to concede, or leave.

LightFlare

GingerTim said:

The important thing, I think, is not whether people on here think something is reasonable or not - but what your employer thinks and expects.

Employer expectations will depend on the nature of the role, the position/seniorority in the company and the resulting remuneration level.

I don’t get the impression that the are being unreasonable in theirs based on information provided and reading between the lines

squirrelpie

Grumpy_chap said:
You are correct that managing the relationship upward are going to be key.  The individuals up the tree have all the bargaining power here.  The OP needs to concede, or leave.

If his manager supports him, and has sufficiently good relationships up the tree, then I don't see why the OP would need to concede anything or leave.  It might be the other manager facing such questions? OTOH, if the relationships play the other way then what you say may be true.

General_Grant

Mistermeaner said:

. . .

I would just iterate that my stated place of work in contract in writing is the local office. Being at the distant site 2-3 days a fortnight was a verbal discussion with my Line manager several years ago. It is by no means cut and dry that I must be at distant site full time. 

. . . 

That sounds like "custom and practice" and could be considered a variation to your contract.