I absolutely love my life even though I'm in a position where society says I shouldn't be happy.

throwaway12222

I work £14 an hour job with no career progression at all.

I don't have a single friend.

I'm not in contact with any family members and haven't been for a decade.

I go to work, play video games / watch tv shows and sleep. 

I live a very frugal life and invest my left over money each month so I can retire without worrying about food or heating.

That's literally my life and I absolutely love it... 

The reason I say society says I shouldn't be happy is because I am so far outside the mould of what is "expected and normal" that it's hard to believe happiness can be achieved.

• I could level up my education and get a better paying career, but I don't want to. 
• I could join societies and meet people to make friends, but I don't want to.
• I could join dating sites and meet women for a relationship, but I don't want to. 

I think there's something powerful about being happy doing what YOU want to do and not the template that society creates for you... University education > friends > career progression > wife / husband > kids > more career progression > grandkids.

I'm not denying that I might be happier doing something else or if some aspect of my life changed but I'm not unhappy enough with the status quo to want to change anything, if that makes sense. Why try to fix something that isn't broken kinda mentality.

When I look at my life, I shouldn't be happy, I'd wager than 99%+ of people who are in my position are utterly depressed and miserable, so for me to be in this position and actually be happy seems like a stroke of incredible luck, for which I am very grateful for.

All that's missing from my life is a pet, I'd really like a cat or a dog but living in a flat and being at work everyday seems unfair for the pet. When I retire I'm definitely getting a pet.

Zinger549

Do you not have a social life. It's good to get out a meet people. Do you ever go for a drink with your colleagues?

MikeJXE

throwaway12222 said:

I work £14 an hour job with no career progression at all.

I don't have a single friend.

I'm not in contact with any family members and haven't been for a decade.

I go to work, play video games / watch tv shows and sleep. 

I live a very frugal life and invest my left over money each month so I can retire without worrying about food or heating.

That's literally my life and I absolutely love it... 

The reason I say society says I shouldn't be happy is because I am so far outside the mould of what is "expected and normal" that it's hard to believe I am happiness can be achieved.

• I could level up my education and get a better paying career, but I don't want to. 
• I could join societies and meet people to make friends, but I don't want to.
• I could join dating sites and meet women for a relationship, but I don't want to. 

I think there's something powerful about being happy doing what YOU want to do and not the template that society creates for you... University education > career progression > wife / husband > kids > more career progression > grandkids.

I'm not denying that I might be happier doing something else or if some aspect of my life changed but I'm not unhappy enough with the status quo to want to change anything, it if that makes sense. Why try to fix something that isn't broken kinda mentality.

When I look at my life, I shouldn't be happy, I'd wager than 99%+ of people who are in my position are utterly depressed and miserable, so for me to be in this position and actually be happy seems like a stroke or incredible luck, for which I am very grateful for.

All that's missing from my life is a pet, I'd really like a cat or a dog but living in a flat and being at work everyday seems unfair for the pet. When I retire I'm definitely getting a pet.

Good for you 

You are doing exactly what you want 

Life's too short to do what other expect of you 

badmemory

I can't say that I agree that the meaning of life is to see just how far we can overpopulate the world.  Also there is usually a reason that someone no longer has contact with any family & those reasons are rarely good news.

OP (original poster) if that is what makes you happy then that is that.  Not everyone needs or wants people in their lives.  Just as long as you aren't deliberately hurting someone by excluding them.  I for one cannot see a problem.

njkmr

It would appear you have what people spend a lifetime searching for.
If your happy then good look to you, you don't have to be like anyone else.
Let's face it ,if we were all the same the world would be a dull place.
You keep enjoying what You do.
Well done.

throwaway12222

[Quoted post removed by Forum Team]

I couldn't disagree more. The meaning of life is doing what makes you happy. If having a family and kids and "passing life on" results in you being miserable and unhappy then you've failed at life.

Zinger549 said:

Do you not have a social life. It's good to get out a meet people. Do you ever go for a drink with your colleagues?

Nope. I don't drink alcohol but even if I drank soda instead it would still be one of the most tedious mind numbing activities I can think of.

I spend 9 hours of my day surrounded by colleagues, and you think I want to spend another 2+ hours socialising with them even more after work? Are you insane?

Imagine I have the choice between playing video games or watching a few episodes of an awesome tv show vs sitting at a pub table gossiping or talking about random crap? I know which one I'd chose. 

In fact even if they paid me to go out with them I still wouldn't go... And it's not that I don't like them, I do like them... But I just don't enjoy socialising.

dreaming

Who's to say what is the right way to live and be happy. I followed the "traditional" route of marriage and children and seemingly had a great life. We weren't mega-rich but comfortable enough for me to stay at home with the children until they reached senior school and still have a lovely home and friends etc. However, I suffered from bouts of depression and after separating from my husband when the children were older teenagers I managed to find a good job and bought my own home. I didn't love the job but it paid well and I worked extra hours so  managed to pay the mortgage off and take retirement at 58 with a company pension until my state pension kicked in a couple of years ago. I lost a lot of "friends" when I divorced, and then again when I finished work, but I realised that I no longer suffered from depression, and when lockdown was imposed it confirmed that I am much happier with fewer people in my life. I love my family very much but even they can overwhelm me for anything other than fairly short visits. I probably spend 80-90% of my time alone (apart from the cat) and am never bored, or feel I am missing out on anything. I would really love to get rid of the words "ought" and "should" - as in you ought to socialise more/you should want this, that or the other. In my opinion, as long as you are not hurting anyone the only thing you should do is live your life the best way that suits you.

pseudodox

throwaway12222 said:

I work £14 an hour job with no career progression at all.

I don't have a single friend.

I'm not in contact with any family members and haven't been for a decade.

I go to work, play video games / watch tv shows and sleep. 

I live a very frugal life and invest my left over money each month so I can retire without worrying about food or heating.

That's literally my life and I absolutely love it... 

The reason I say society says I shouldn't be happy is because I am so far outside the mould of what is "expected and normal" that it's hard to believe happiness can be achieved.

• I could level up my education and get a better paying career, but I don't want to. 
• I could join societies and meet people to make friends, but I don't want to.
• I could join dating sites and meet women for a relationship, but I don't want to. 

I think there's something powerful about being happy doing what YOU want to do and not the template that society creates for you... University education > friends > career progression > wife / husband > kids > more career progression > grandkids.

I'm not denying that I might be happier doing something else or if some aspect of my life changed but I'm not unhappy enough with the status quo to want to change anything, if that makes sense. Why try to fix something that isn't broken kinda mentality.

When I look at my life, I shouldn't be happy, I'd wager than 99%+ of people who are in my position are utterly depressed and miserable, so for me to be in this position and actually be happy seems like a stroke of incredible luck, for which I am very grateful for.

All that's missing from my life is a pet, I'd really like a cat or a dog but living in a flat and being at work everyday seems unfair for the pet. When I retire I'm definitely getting a pet.

Brilliant!  Someone who does not feel under peer pressure to "conform" to what others think someone should be.  You are happy in your own skin.  And I imagine if you wake up one morning & want to live life a different way you will go all out for it, whether anyone else approves or not.  Many people are miserable because they always think they have to be somebody else.  You are just you.

As for a pet - get a hamster.  Brilliant for a working person as they sleep all day & then come out to play in the evening & as they only live a couple of years it's not a long commitment if you find you do want to change lifestyle.

Baldytyke88

I dont think £14 per hour is too bad, it's more than I get. I am also hoping to have more money in retirement and maybe more pets.

I like my work, but that can change, so its my social life which is the most important.

Friends, men in particular, are they real friends, I certainly have fewer recently.

I go online too much, studies show people are happier off social media etc. I have a dog which I love very much, cats suit some people.

Brie

None of us know what impact our lives might have.  You doing your job might be all that's required to have a Mozart in the next generation.  One tiny thing might cause shock waves.  I'm in the "a butterfly flaps it's wings and there's a hurricane on the other side of the world" type person.

You're happy.  That counts.  Hope you can really enjoy having a pet when you get to that point.  

elsien

[Quoted post removed by Forum Team]

That might be the case for you. It certainly isn’t the case for everyone. 

As to why we are here a one in however many billions chance and the right conditions in the right place at the right time a very very long time ago. Pure chance. 

Although I have to point out that the OP did have a thread at the end of December talking about why they were emotionally to torturing  themselves, maybe the OP needs to be taken with a small pinch of salt.