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Mental health break - giving advise to a friend

peteuk
Posts: 1,813 Forumite


Im currently helping a friend sort out their debts and need a but of an update/refresh.
I have advised him to speak to a debt charity but he wont. He is struggling with his mental health and is due to enter grief councilsing in the new year. He is also concidering medication to help (it was suggested at a recent MH review but he's not keen)
He believes a break in his loan/credit payments will help him get breathing space, getting his head above water and to a point that he can clear some of the smaller loans. (By putting all the loan payments of a month into one loan)
He currently has six loans with monthly payments of £750 in total. Ive worked out he has five credit cards witn monthly payments of £340 in total.
He is also looking at mortage holiday - which would help.
How long of a mental health break could he ask for - given a month would allow £1090 get rid of two loans (£130 payment per month) or two credit cards (£100 payment per month)
He then wants to snowball the rest.
I have advised him to speak to a debt charity but he wont. He is struggling with his mental health and is due to enter grief councilsing in the new year. He is also concidering medication to help (it was suggested at a recent MH review but he's not keen)
He believes a break in his loan/credit payments will help him get breathing space, getting his head above water and to a point that he can clear some of the smaller loans. (By putting all the loan payments of a month into one loan)
He currently has six loans with monthly payments of £750 in total. Ive worked out he has five credit cards witn monthly payments of £340 in total.
He is also looking at mortage holiday - which would help.
How long of a mental health break could he ask for - given a month would allow £1090 get rid of two loans (£130 payment per month) or two credit cards (£100 payment per month)
He then wants to snowball the rest.
Proud to have dealt with our debts
Starting debt 2005 £65.7K.
Current debt ZERO.
Current debt ZERO.
DEBT FREE
0
Comments
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The mortgage and the other debts are chalk and cheese. The mortgage is a priority. The others, not.
If he has MH issues then the nonpriority lenders should bend over backwards to help him.
A mental health evidence form would be the first step
https://nationaldebtline.org/get-information/guides/debt-and-mental-health-ew/4 -
@FlaatusGoat thank you, having cleared my debts through a DMP (With CCCS. now step change and then self managed) I can only help so far. The new bit of mental health breaks werent really a thing when I was with CCCS. So thank you.
I dont want him to fail, but Im thinking the break will help focus him and realise that there is potential in a longer term resoloution. Who knows.
At present he is up to date with his priority bills (some arrears in last years Council tax - but they have been added to this years bill) that was the first think I checked. Im putting together a SOA but its hard because hes so unorganised (In my view) to him it makes sense.
@fatbelly I will take a look at the link - thanks.Proud to have dealt with our debtsStarting debt 2005 £65.7K.
Current debt ZERO.DEBT FREE0 -
Your friend needs to prioritise paying his mortgage and CT bills, then utilities. As long as these are up to date, they have a roof over their head.
Some would suggest food is even more important, can't disagree, but it isn't a debt, just vital. Some folk can feed themselves well on little, others simply have never cooked a meal. Which ever, your friend needs a budget.
So mortgage, CT, utilities, food? Time for a Statement of Affairs. Check out lemonfool.co.uk.
If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing0 -
Just a general comment that AI generated responses are not always entirely accurate.Which is why they are against forum rules..All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.
Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.7 -
If he is able to talk to someone (StepChange, NationalDebtline, CAP, Community Money Advice, Citizen's advice) they might be able to secure him an official breathing space which would give him 60 days without any interference from creditors to help get himself sorted. If he's in an extreme medical health crisis this might be a much longer period (the length of the crisis plus 60 days)
But having the mental health and debt form provided by his surgery will generally mean none of this is needed. Please note that the MHDF form isn't always accepted easily by some surgeries and they will ask for payment. This is against BMA rules.I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Debt Free Wannabe and Old Style Money Saving boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.
"Never retract, never explain, never apologise; get things done and let them howl.” Nellie McClung1 -
elsien said:Just a general comment that AI generated responses are not always entirely accurate.Which is why they are against forum rules..1
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Something you might point out to your friend regarding the medication side of things - if they had a cut that was bleeding, they would probably apply a plaster to it. If they had a broken bone, then they would expect for that to be put in a cast, generally speaking. That is all medication is - it’s a medical intervention to assist with healing. I can completely understand why someone might feel reluctant to go down the medication route, but they should at least consider it on an even footing with anything else that might help with healing a wound or injury - as that is what their current mental health struggles are.You’ve had some great input from forum regulars regarding priority bills in particular. The SOA is a vital first step, as is your friend learning to prioritise - ensuring that they keep the roof over their head, ensure that council tax, heat, light, water and food are covered, any essential travel is budgeted for, and also that they build an emergency fund if they don’t have one already. The council tax is a particularly important one to stress the priority nature of - as it sounds like your friend might already have prioritised non essential (consumer) debt over paying that previously.🎉 MORTGAGE FREE (First time!) 30/09/2016 🎉 And now we go again…New mortgage taken 01/09/23 🏡
Balance as at 01/09/23 = £115,000.00 Balance as at 31/12/23 = £112,000.00
Balance as at 31/08/24 = £105,400.00 Balance as at 31/12/24 = £102,500.00SOA CALCULATOR (for DFW newbies): SOA Calculatorshe/her1 -
A mortgage holiday is not really a good idea, especially in order to pay non priority debts, as interest will keep accruing, and it will increase his monthly payments going forward.
The non priority debts are the ones that can be ignored for a while, lenders will do their best to be helpful if your friend completes a mental health evidence form, there response generally would be to put his accounts "on hold" for a period of time, they may even look to write some or all of the debts off, dependant on how bad his circumstances are.
The priority is keeping a roof over his head, food on his plate, and the power on, the rest doesn't matter in the short term.I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Debt free wannabe, Credit file and ratings, and Bankruptcy and living with it boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.For free non-judgemental debt advice, contact either Stepchange, National Debtline, or CitizensAdviceBureaux.Link to SOA Calculator- https://www.stoozing.com/soa.php The "provit letter" is here-https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2607247/letter-when-you-know-nothing-about-about-the-debt-aka-prove-it-letter1
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