Private pension nominees versus wife

poseidon1

Midnightstar22 said:

Hi I am new to the forum so apologies if this has been covered but I couldn’t find what I was looking for. 

I am an older woman about to marry my lovely man. The question I have is, he has a private pension and after his divorce he put his 2 children down as equal shares upon his death. Once we are married he has stated that once he dies he wants everything going to his children which I have no problem with BUT, I came out of a long abusive marriage, apart of the abuse was financial ruin. We had two children together and I on my own have got them through university and a masters. I have had  3 jobs and work for the NHS. Now as we know they do not pay well and I only started with them 8 years ago. So my pension is nothing. My husband to be’s children have huge life savings pensions and houses. 

If my loved one was to pass before me , (whom is 8 years older than me) who would inherit his pension? Me his wife or his children who are the nominees? I have no inheritance coming my way either. Just worried about my old age. My hubby to be has said we need to make wills so everything goes to them but he ensures me that I will be looking after? He isn’t some millionaire by the way! I just want to know I have a pension or monies to keep me going. Thanks. 

Professionally, I have seen these 'blended' family situations all too often and the importance of a full and frank conversation between the two parties is paramount especially where they  come with children on each side.

 I also note you say he is divorced but you probably don't know if his pension was the subject of a pension sharing order with his ex, which introduces complications if you ( going forward) have expectations in that regard.

Your husband has made it clear that he is adamant his children get everything on his death and may already have a Will to that effect in place. That Will will automatically become null and void on marriage so that event restarts his entire estate planning but with you now in the mix.

You on other hand seem to be coming to the marriage in far more vulnerable and weaker financial position, so that in that regard not a marriage of equals. If you were equals we would be talking mutual pre-nups.

Frankly, it is a bit of a cart before horse in entering a new marriage if the issues you are raising in this forum, are not matters you have felt comfortable in addressing direct with your new partner to be.

 Now, I get that you don't  necessarily want to give  the impression that he will represent another chance for your future  financial security  after an aborted first marriage. However, isn't that the reality behind your questions here?

Also see  it from his perspective, he would not want what he has built up with his own children/grandchildren  in mind to be jeopardised  if he predeceases you without safeguards that ensure his wealth does not ultimately end up with your own children ( a scenario which forum members have seen played out here).

What you offer here with the future marriage,  are extra nil rate bands to ensure his children get more of what he leaves behind sheltered from IHT, but how  much of those NRBs do you need for what you are in position to pass onto to your own children ( if anything)? 

Accordingly, if you do not want to go into a new marriage with this uncertainty with regard to your  own expectations clouding the relationship, a discussion which will no doubt involve some form of a trust arrangement ( in his will  ) must be had, and preferably at a solicitors office where both of your post marriage Wills can be discussed and an accommodation reached.

You both have done this marriage merry go round first time around  ( unsuccessfully) , seems to me you both should be able to have learnt from what went wrong previously, to establish a firmer foundation this time around, and for you ( at least  ) financial matters are key to this.