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My partner wants to move and there’s no job for me there

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I would really appreciate some thoughts / advice ( ? ) on how to navigate a tricky issue. My partner and I have a job as a live in couple working for a family.  I am very happy in my role but my 64 year old partner has told me he is unhappy and has arranged an interview for another job.  The position is very poorly paid and there is no job for me there.   I am shocked and upset and cannot understand why he thinks it’s a good idea to move at our age , particularly when we earn decent money and have a lovely “Grace and favour “ home where we are.  My partner worries a lot about money as do I but we have been able to save a little over the last few years.  I thought we would stay here until we retire ( though I don’t think either of us will retire at the earliest official opportunity, we haven’t got enough saved )  I am very upset and feel unsettled.  Has anyone got any thoughts on how I can talk to my partner about this ( he’s not very good at talking at the best of times )  To be honest I want to persuade him to drop the idea completely!  I really need to continue earning a semi decent wage for as long as I can and I thought he felt the same.   Any ideas will be much appreciated 

Comments

  • DullGreyGuy
    DullGreyGuy Posts: 18,544 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Applying for a job is a separate matter to taking a job. 

    Is the current arrangement predicated on you being a couple and living in?
    How far away is the new job?
    What is the post retirement accommodation plans? When does he hope to retire?
    What's making in unhappy in the current role? 
    What's the prospects of you getting a different job there? 
  • theoretica
    theoretica Posts: 12,691 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    What attracts him to the new role?
    But a banker, engaged at enormous expense,
    Had the whole of their cash in his care.
    Lewis Carroll
  • Robin9
    Robin9 Posts: 12,770 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    I suggest you put your finances onto paper ---   incomes  , expenditure, worth of the  "grace and favour" and what you expect if he takes a new job.;   what savings you have , expected pensions (have you got your state pension forecasts).; presumably you would have to rent, council tax, utilities.

    With some figures in front of him he ma think twice.


    Never pay on an estimated bill. Always read and understand your bill
  • tacpot12
    tacpot12 Posts: 9,242 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Do you occupy the Grace and Favour property as a result of his work or yours?

    I think you should be a bit open-minded about a move. You are likely to have to move out of the G&F property at some point. From his perspective, he isn't happy. 

    I think you need to get to the bottom of what  he is not happy about first though. If you are convinced that he is unhappy for a valida reason, you should perhaps look for another way to make the move happen. I'm suprrised that you say that there isn't a job for you there? You would have to be moving to somewhere very isolated for this to be the case.


    The comments I post are my personal opinion. While I try to check everything is correct before posting, I can and do make mistakes, so always try to check official information sources before relying on my posts.
  • It can be very lonely moving to a new area with no work.

    Personally, I would be very alert to the fact a decision has been made as if he is a sole entity rather than in a long term partnership. That would make me assess how secure I am and how I could shore that up.  And I wouldn’t be accompanying someone who’d made such a unilateral decision.
  • elsien said:
    I presume the OP means that the current job is for them as a couple whereas the new job would just be for him. 
    So effectively, by looking elsewhere  he’s handed her resignation in for her without considering a future similar job with roles for both of them. So going as far as applying elsewhere without even discussing it first is not the best way to be going on. 
    It is not a decision to be taken unilaterally, and the OP's partner is either selfish or making their point in a very immature way.
    No man is worth crawling on this earth.

    So much to read, so little time.
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