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Struggling with debt – Is defaulting and a DMP the only option
Where do I start.
Long time lurker and I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed right now and I’ve finally bit the bullet and come to the realisation I need to sort this out after burying my head in the sand.
To give you a bit of background, I’ve got a considerable amount of debt across loans, credit cards, and overdrafts. It feels like I’m just treading water at the moment, and I don’t know the best way to start making real progress. I don’t have any excuses, this debt has just spiralled due to overspending / covering monthly shortfalls causing me to borrow more etc, it’s just getting scary now.
My wife knows about some of this, the Tesco loan (joint and paid off this time next year) and the Halifax credit card (in her name), plus she knows we have some more on other cards, but she has no idea about the extent. I feel like I’ve betrayed her, she’s trusted me to look after the finances and I feel sick at the thought of telling her. I do know however that I need to bring her into this if we’re going to sort it out together. If anyone has been in a similar situation, I’d love some advice on how to approach this conversation.
I have also considered the lack of emergency fund, we don’t have one, never have and that also scares the life out of me, using the credit cards to fill the gap.
I’ve also come to the realisation that it’s time for my squeaky clean credit file to take a hammering. We’re currently in a HSBC mortgage, of which the low interest rate we were handed in 2020 ends next year so I’m also factoring in that jumping up by another 300 pounds a month, I'm hoping we can just do a simple product swap so no credit checks affected.
I’ve been researching a lot from other people’s stories and situations and have come to the conclusion that
1. Never turn unsecured debt into secured (a solution which popped into my head was to just take out extra borrowing on the house)
2. Defaulting is better than an arrangement to pay from a time limit perspective
Have I chose the worst case solution here by thinking about defaulting, doing my own DMP and waiting for CCA companies to contact in the hope they offer settlements? In a weird way I'm also hoping that not being able to gain credit for the next forseeable period will help me get out of this mindset. I perhaps also think I need counselling for what I can only describe is an addiction to buying things I don't need.
I bank with Santander, so I know I’ll need to open up an alternative account, if Santander try and recoup some debt, can they use our joint account? Or would you advise me to move all DDs away including the house bills.
Some additional info
SOA below, I have put my income and my share of the bills and the debts, I also don’t want the Halifax CC to be touched by this as the only saving grace is my wife has impeccable credit and we’ll need this in the future.
My wife's income is about 3100 a month but I haven't included that below.
Tesco loan finishing next year is also a positive, that’s about 150 a month extra.
Halifax, Santander, Barclaycard and Lloyds are all on 0% interest, for the next 2 years.
Comments
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Just some quick thoughts (other than good for you for facing up to this!!)
I've seen worse. Particularly when I've looked in the mirror!!
Yes you need another bank account. Not Santander, nothing in the Lloyds group (which includes Halifax I believe and BoS and others). Not Barclays or Monzo. Maybe Nationwide? Or Natwest (which includes RBS). Best to check what the base bank is for Tesco (that's changing soon I think?) and Admiral just to be safe.
Can you add the interest rates for everything please?!
And I know there's a thing about not preferring one creditor over another but getting rid of some of the tiddly ones would give a nice boost if just by shortening your list. Maybe Klarna (& shut the accounts) or Monzo (& use that for basic account without an OD?)I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Debt Free Wannabe and Old Style Money Saving boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.
"Never retract, never explain, never apologise; get things done and let them howl.” Nellie McClung
⭐️🏅😇1 -
Brie said:
Thanks BrieJust some quick thoughts (other than good for you for facing up to this!!)
I've seen worse. Particularly when I've looked in the mirror!!
Yes you need another bank account. Not Santander, nothing in the Lloyds group (which includes Halifax I believe and BoS and others). Not Barclays or Monzo. Maybe Nationwide? Or Natwest (which includes RBS). Best to check what the base bank is for Tesco (that's changing soon I think?) and Admiral just to be safe.
Can you add the interest rates for everything please?!
And I know there's a thing about not preferring one creditor over another but getting rid of some of the tiddly ones would give a nice boost if just by shortening your list. Maybe Klarna (& shut the accounts) or Monzo (& use that for basic account without an OD?)
Apologies, missed off some %, I did think whether to use the Monzo as the main account, saves having to open a new one up, usually it's only used if we go away somewhere.
[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]Description....................Debt......Monthly...APRAdmiral Loan...................17673.....378.......10.57Barclaycard....................12000.....120.......0%Santander CC...................6201.76...62........0%Tesco Loan.....................2000......75........7%Halifax CC.....................5800......70........0Klarna.........................317.......12........0%Klarna.........................53........18........0%Samsung........................1200......40........0%Monzo OD.......................1500......40........39%Santander OD...................1400......23........39%Lloyds CC......................2818......60........0[b]Total unsecured debts..........50962.76..898.......- [/b]0 -
Well reminded, the Tesco Loan has just been pased over to BarclaysBrie said:Just some quick thoughts (other than good for you for facing up to this!!)
I've seen worse. Particularly when I've looked in the mirror!!
Yes you need another bank account. Not Santander, nothing in the Lloyds group (which includes Halifax I believe and BoS and others). Not Barclays or Monzo. Maybe Nationwide? Or Natwest (which includes RBS). Best to check what the base bank is for Tesco (that's changing soon I think?) and Admiral just to be safe.
Can you add the interest rates for everything please?!
And I know there's a thing about not preferring one creditor over another but getting rid of some of the tiddly ones would give a nice boost if just by shortening your list. Maybe Klarna (& shut the accounts) or Monzo (& use that for basic account without an OD?)0 -
OK So being married is a partnership where you both must be honest with each other, so you should tell her the exact totals of debt.
Also you should include both incomes and total expenditures, we can't tell from what you have posted if you or your wife are paying the correct proportions of the total income.
Honestly forget keeping an credit card., there is always the temptation to use it.
You need a bank account with no overdraft, then you need to stop paying all unsecured debts and use the money to save an emergency fund, then when something breaks down you have money to deal with it rather than putting it on a credit card.
You do realize if you have a joint mortgage your wife's credit rating will be affected.If you go down to the woods today you better not go alone.1 -
Thank you. I'll add her income in later and complete a new SOA.Grumpelstiltskin said:OK So being married is a partnership where you both must be honest with each other, so you should tell her the exact totals of debt.
Also you should include both incomes and total expenditures, we can't tell from what you have posted if you or your wife are paying the correct proportions of the total income.
Honestly forget keeping an credit card., there is always the temptation to use it.
You need a bank account with no overdraft, then you need to stop paying all unsecured debts and use the money to save an emergency fund, then when something breaks down you have money to deal with it rather than putting it on a credit card.
You do realize if you have a joint mortgage your wife's credit rating will be affected.
So if I default on these debts her credit rating will go down? I wasn't aware of that. How would you advise tackling her credit card?0 -
A few quick thoughts, especially as you say these are only your half, you have some quite high outgoings.explorer_235 said:
Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Electricity............................. 150 (A combined energy cost of £300 pm would be high in general, even more so when you say that you are only paying half)Gas..................................... 150Water rates............................. 60 (This is high, get a water meter and it would drop to between £25 and £35 pm depending on usage)Road tax................................ 60 (Is this one vehicle? If so this is very high, maybe time to look at something more sensible)Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 100 (This is high, if these are prescriptions it might be worth looking at pre-payment which would dramatically reduce this cost)
Have you worked out where the money that you borrowed has gone? The levels and type of debt indicate that it is not a result of a short term blip, but of a sustained spending pattern, you are going to need to both cut your expenditure to a sustainable level and then below that to be able to make repayments on the existing debt. Your debts are 26 months expenses so it cannot be from just day to day expenditure.explorer_235 said:[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APRAdmiral Loan...................17673.....378.......10.57Barclaycard....................12000.....120.......0Santander CC...................6201.76...62........0Tesco Loan.....................2000......75........0Halifax CC.....................5800......70........0Klarna.........................317.......12........0Klarna.........................53........18........0Samsung........................1200......40........0Monzo OD.......................1500......40........0Santander OD...................1400......23........0Lloyds CC......................2818......60........0[b]Total unsecured debts..........50962.76..898.......- [/b]
Find the headspace to sit down and talk to your wife about this, it impacts her future as well as yours, the longer you delay the more hurtful she will find it, you are in a partnership and need to share this as together you can get this sorted. You are linked financially so any defaults will directly impact her so you need to have the conversation before you do anything.explorer_235 said:My wife knows about some of this, the Tesco loan (joint and paid off this time next year) and the Halifax credit card (in her name), plus she knows we have some more on other cards, but she has no idea about the extent. I feel like I’ve betrayed her, she’s trusted me to look after the finances and I feel sick at the thought of telling her. I do know however that I need to bring her into this if we’re going to sort it out together. If anyone has been in a similar situation, I’d love some advice on how to approach this conversation.
A key part of that conversation will be where the money went, it is the first question any partner asks. If it has gone on day to day family expenditure, trying to do the right thing but getting it wrong then partners are generally much more understanding. If it went on expensive hobbies, gambling or drugs then it becomes a very different conversation. I would also suggest after telling her you consider going to Relate or something similar, the fact that it reached this level and you were unable to talk about it is means you need to work on communication, doing that together can be beneficial.
You will be able to do a rate swap.explorer_235 said:I’ve also come to the realisation that it’s time for my squeaky clean credit file to take a hammering. We’re currently in a HSBC mortgage, of which the low interest rate we were handed in 2020 ends next year so I’m also factoring in that jumping up by another 300 pounds a month, I'm hoping we can just do a simple product swap so no credit checks affected.
A genuine question and it shows an element of debt as a solution, but why will you need to be able to borrow more on credit cards in the future?explorer_235 said:SOA below, I have put my income and my share of the bills and the debts, I also don’t want the Halifax CC to be touched by this as the only saving grace is my wife has impeccable credit and we’ll need this in the future.
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Credit ratings are meaningless numbers, so you can ignore them. You and her are financially linked so it will impact her yes.explorer_235 said:
Thank you. I'll add her income in later and complete a new SOA.Grumpelstiltskin said:OK So being married is a partnership where you both must be honest with each other, so you should tell her the exact totals of debt.
Also you should include both incomes and total expenditures, we can't tell from what you have posted if you or your wife are paying the correct proportions of the total income.
Honestly forget keeping an credit card., there is always the temptation to use it.
You need a bank account with no overdraft, then you need to stop paying all unsecured debts and use the money to save an emergency fund, then when something breaks down you have money to deal with it rather than putting it on a credit card.
You do realize if you have a joint mortgage your wife's credit rating will be affected.
So if I default on these debts her credit rating will go down? I wasn't aware of that. How would you advise tackling her credit card?
Who is your mortgage with, do you have any joint accounts and who are they with and do you have any other joint financial products, any additional card holders on each other's cards, does she have any savings for emergency funds?1 -
MattMattMattUK said:A few quick thoughts, especially as you say these are only your half, you have some quite high outgoings.explorer_235 said:
Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Electricity............................. 150 (A combined energy cost of £300 pm would be high in general, even more so when you say that you are only paying half)Gas..................................... 150Water rates............................. 60 (This is high, get a water meter and it would drop to between £25 and £35 pm depending on usage)Road tax................................ 60 (Is this one vehicle? If so this is very high, maybe time to look at something more sensible)Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 100 (This is high, if these are prescriptions it might be worth looking at pre-payment which would dramatically reduce this cost)
Have you worked out where the money that you borrowed has gone? The levels and type of debt indicate that it is not a result of a short term blip, but of a sustained spending pattern, you are going to need to both cut your expenditure to a sustainable level and then below that to be able to make repayments on the existing debt. Your debts are 26 months expenses so it cannot be from just day to day expenditure.explorer_235 said:[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APRAdmiral Loan...................17673.....378.......10.57Barclaycard....................12000.....120.......0Santander CC...................6201.76...62........0Tesco Loan.....................2000......75........0Halifax CC.....................5800......70........0Klarna.........................317.......12........0Klarna.........................53........18........0Samsung........................1200......40........0Monzo OD.......................1500......40........0Santander OD...................1400......23........0Lloyds CC......................2818......60........0[b]Total unsecured debts..........50962.76..898.......- [/b]
Find the headspace to sit down and talk to your wife about this, it impacts her future as well as yours, the longer you delay the more hurtful she will find it, you are in a partnership and need to share this as together you can get this sorted. You are linked financially so any defaults will directly impact her so you need to have the conversation before you do anything.explorer_235 said:My wife knows about some of this, the Tesco loan (joint and paid off this time next year) and the Halifax credit card (in her name), plus she knows we have some more on other cards, but she has no idea about the extent. I feel like I’ve betrayed her, she’s trusted me to look after the finances and I feel sick at the thought of telling her. I do know however that I need to bring her into this if we’re going to sort it out together. If anyone has been in a similar situation, I’d love some advice on how to approach this conversation.
A key part of that conversation will be where the money went, it is the first question any partner asks. If it has gone on day to day family expenditure, trying to do the right thing but getting it wrong then partners are generally much more understanding. If it went on expensive hobbies, gambling or drugs then it becomes a very different conversation. I would also suggest after telling her you consider going to Relate or something similar, the fact that it reached this level and you were unable to talk about it is means you need to work on communication, doing that together can be beneficial.
You will be able to do a rate swap.explorer_235 said:I’ve also come to the realisation that it’s time for my squeaky clean credit file to take a hammering. We’re currently in a HSBC mortgage, of which the low interest rate we were handed in 2020 ends next year so I’m also factoring in that jumping up by another 300 pounds a month, I'm hoping we can just do a simple product swap so no credit checks affected.
A genuine question and it shows an element of debt as a solution, but why will you need to be able to borrow more on credit cards in the future?explorer_235 said:SOA below, I have put my income and my share of the bills and the debts, I also don’t want the Halifax CC to be touched by this as the only saving grace is my wife has impeccable credit and we’ll need this in the future.
Electricity and Gas is a combined 300, I put it solely on mine and she has a salary sacrifice vehicle so tried to offest what I pay vs what she pays, it does make for ciomplicated reading.
Water - we are currently on a water meter, I assumed this was a pretty normal figure, there's only 2 of us and our 7 year old, we never use the hosepipe and mainly have showers, perhaps I need to look into this?
Car tax - Unfortunately it is, but the car is worth next to nothing so it isn't actually worth getting rid of.
Medical is our private health insurance which is subsidised by my employer, I wasn't sure where to put this.
I'm not a gambler or drug taker etc, it's just built up after a sustained period of spending more than we make, then the shortfall is cash is made up by using the credit cards more frequently. I took the Admiral loan out to cover some of the cards, didn't shut them down and then the cycle restarted.
That's a positive with the mortgage, with the rates not in a great place at the moment, at least any eventualities won't affect our mortage with HSBC and we can do a straight rate swap.
RE the Halifax card in her name, is there a way to freeze it and just pay the amount off without it going into default. My rating is going to be nuked, hers somewhat being associated with me but I wanted to try and avoid any direct defaults on her score.0 -
It does seem high, do you submit regular meter readings so you can see if you have a large credit (or debt)?explorer_235 said:MattMattMattUK said:A few quick thoughts, especially as you say these are only your half, you have some quite high outgoings.explorer_235 said:Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Electricity............................. 150 (A combined energy cost of £300 pm would be high in general, even more so when you say that you are only paying half)Gas..................................... 150Water rates............................. 60 (This is high, get a water meter and it would drop to between £25 and £35 pm depending on usage)Road tax................................ 60 (Is this one vehicle? If so this is very high, maybe time to look at something more sensible)Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 100 (This is high, if these are prescriptions it might be worth looking at pre-payment which would dramatically reduce this cost)
Have you worked out where the money that you borrowed has gone? The levels and type of debt indicate that it is not a result of a short term blip, but of a sustained spending pattern, you are going to need to both cut your expenditure to a sustainable level and then below that to be able to make repayments on the existing debt. Your debts are 26 months expenses so it cannot be from just day to day expenditure.explorer_235 said:[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APRAdmiral Loan...................17673.....378.......10.57Barclaycard....................12000.....120.......0Santander CC...................6201.76...62........0Tesco Loan.....................2000......75........0Halifax CC.....................5800......70........0Klarna.........................317.......12........0Klarna.........................53........18........0Samsung........................1200......40........0Monzo OD.......................1500......40........0Santander OD...................1400......23........0Lloyds CC......................2818......60........0[b]Total unsecured debts..........50962.76..898.......- [/b]
Find the headspace to sit down and talk to your wife about this, it impacts her future as well as yours, the longer you delay the more hurtful she will find it, you are in a partnership and need to share this as together you can get this sorted. You are linked financially so any defaults will directly impact her so you need to have the conversation before you do anything.explorer_235 said:My wife knows about some of this, the Tesco loan (joint and paid off this time next year) and the Halifax credit card (in her name), plus she knows we have some more on other cards, but she has no idea about the extent. I feel like I’ve betrayed her, she’s trusted me to look after the finances and I feel sick at the thought of telling her. I do know however that I need to bring her into this if we’re going to sort it out together. If anyone has been in a similar situation, I’d love some advice on how to approach this conversation.
A key part of that conversation will be where the money went, it is the first question any partner asks. If it has gone on day to day family expenditure, trying to do the right thing but getting it wrong then partners are generally much more understanding. If it went on expensive hobbies, gambling or drugs then it becomes a very different conversation. I would also suggest after telling her you consider going to Relate or something similar, the fact that it reached this level and you were unable to talk about it is means you need to work on communication, doing that together can be beneficial.
You will be able to do a rate swap.explorer_235 said:I’ve also come to the realisation that it’s time for my squeaky clean credit file to take a hammering. We’re currently in a HSBC mortgage, of which the low interest rate we were handed in 2020 ends next year so I’m also factoring in that jumping up by another 300 pounds a month, I'm hoping we can just do a simple product swap so no credit checks affected.
A genuine question and it shows an element of debt as a solution, but why will you need to be able to borrow more on credit cards in the future?explorer_235 said:SOA below, I have put my income and my share of the bills and the debts, I also don’t want the Halifax CC to be touched by this as the only saving grace is my wife has impeccable credit and we’ll need this in the future.
Electricity and Gas is a combined 300, I put it solely on mine and she has a salary sacrifice vehicle so tried to offest what I pay vs what she pays, it does make for ciomplicated reading.
https://www.ccwater.org.uk/watermetercalculator/explorer_235 said:Water - we are currently on a water meter, I assumed this was a pretty normal figure, there's only 2 of us and our 7 year old, we never use the hosepipe and mainly have showers, perhaps I need to look into this?
Run your usage through that calculator, but it does seem high.
It could be worth looking at something more economical to run.explorer_235 said:Car tax - Unfortunately it is, but the car is worth next to nothing so it isn't actually worth getting rid of.
This might be worth getting rid of, we do have the NHS so it is generally not needed, equally it is only a small amount so it depends on your health in general.explorer_235 said:Medical is our private health insurance which is subsidised by my employer, I wasn't sure where to put this.
That is often the cycle which is why consolidation rarely works, it requires a real change of mindset and many people fail on the first few attempts so do not feel bad about that. People who work together with a partners are also far more likely to succeed, so you will have that on your side. It also makes the conversation easier with your wife, you have not done anything wrong, wasting money.explorer_235 said:I'm not a gambler or drug taker etc, it's just built up after a sustained period of spending more than we make, then the shortfall is cash is made up by using the credit cards more frequently. I took the Admiral loan out to cover some of the cards, didn't shut them down and then the cycle restarted.
She will not get any defaults unless she defaults on her debts, or joint debts are defaulted on. You can choose to not default one card initially, but that gets more complicated depending on what you do from that point. I think you need to look at your mindset, you are wanting to conserve routes to more debt and that will only bring more pain, if cards get cut off that is not a negative.explorer_235 said:That's a positive with the mortgage, with the rates not in a great place at the moment, at least any eventualities won't affect our mortage with HSBC and we can do a straight rate swap.
RE the Halifax card in her name, is there a way to freeze it and just pay the amount off without it going into default. My rating is going to be nuked, hers somewhat being associated with me but I wanted to try and avoid any direct defaults on her score.
You need to think about your mortgage, current account and emergency funds, they should not be with any banking group that you are going to default on debts with or that complicates things.
1 -
MattMattMattUK said:
I printed everything off, and told her everything, honestly was horrendous, a lot of tears but I'm so glad I did and didn't risk her finding out any other way. She thought something was wrong I was hiding something but didn't know the extent of the situation.
It does seem high, do you submit regular meter readings so you can see if you have a large credit (or debt)?explorer_235 said:MattMattMattUK said:A few quick thoughts, especially as you say these are only your half, you have some quite high outgoings.explorer_235 said:Monthly Expense Details[/b]
Electricity............................. 150 (A combined energy cost of £300 pm would be high in general, even more so when you say that you are only paying half)Gas..................................... 150Water rates............................. 60 (This is high, get a water meter and it would drop to between £25 and £35 pm depending on usage)Road tax................................ 60 (Is this one vehicle? If so this is very high, maybe time to look at something more sensible)Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 100 (This is high, if these are prescriptions it might be worth looking at pre-payment which would dramatically reduce this cost)
Have you worked out where the money that you borrowed has gone? The levels and type of debt indicate that it is not a result of a short term blip, but of a sustained spending pattern, you are going to need to both cut your expenditure to a sustainable level and then below that to be able to make repayments on the existing debt. Your debts are 26 months expenses so it cannot be from just day to day expenditure.explorer_235 said:[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]
Description....................Debt......Monthly...APRAdmiral Loan...................17673.....378.......10.57Barclaycard....................12000.....120.......0Santander CC...................6201.76...62........0Tesco Loan.....................2000......75........0Halifax CC.....................5800......70........0Klarna.........................317.......12........0Klarna.........................53........18........0Samsung........................1200......40........0Monzo OD.......................1500......40........0Santander OD...................1400......23........0Lloyds CC......................2818......60........0[b]Total unsecured debts..........50962.76..898.......- [/b]
Find the headspace to sit down and talk to your wife about this, it impacts her future as well as yours, the longer you delay the more hurtful she will find it, you are in a partnership and need to share this as together you can get this sorted. You are linked financially so any defaults will directly impact her so you need to have the conversation before you do anything.explorer_235 said:My wife knows about some of this, the Tesco loan (joint and paid off this time next year) and the Halifax credit card (in her name), plus she knows we have some more on other cards, but she has no idea about the extent. I feel like I’ve betrayed her, she’s trusted me to look after the finances and I feel sick at the thought of telling her. I do know however that I need to bring her into this if we’re going to sort it out together. If anyone has been in a similar situation, I’d love some advice on how to approach this conversation.
A key part of that conversation will be where the money went, it is the first question any partner asks. If it has gone on day to day family expenditure, trying to do the right thing but getting it wrong then partners are generally much more understanding. If it went on expensive hobbies, gambling or drugs then it becomes a very different conversation. I would also suggest after telling her you consider going to Relate or something similar, the fact that it reached this level and you were unable to talk about it is means you need to work on communication, doing that together can be beneficial.
You will be able to do a rate swap.explorer_235 said:I’ve also come to the realisation that it’s time for my squeaky clean credit file to take a hammering. We’re currently in a HSBC mortgage, of which the low interest rate we were handed in 2020 ends next year so I’m also factoring in that jumping up by another 300 pounds a month, I'm hoping we can just do a simple product swap so no credit checks affected.
A genuine question and it shows an element of debt as a solution, but why will you need to be able to borrow more on credit cards in the future?explorer_235 said:SOA below, I have put my income and my share of the bills and the debts, I also don’t want the Halifax CC to be touched by this as the only saving grace is my wife has impeccable credit and we’ll need this in the future.
Electricity and Gas is a combined 300, I put it solely on mine and she has a salary sacrifice vehicle so tried to offest what I pay vs what she pays, it does make for ciomplicated reading.explorer_235 said:Water - we are currently on a water meter, I assumed this was a pretty normal figure, there's only 2 of us and our 7 year old, we never use the hosepipe and mainly have showers, perhaps I need to look into this?
Run your usage through that calculator, but it does seem high.
It could be worth looking at something more economical to run.explorer_235 said:Car tax - Unfortunately it is, but the car is worth next to nothing so it isn't actually worth getting rid of.
This might be worth getting rid of, we do have the NHS so it is generally not needed, equally it is only a small amount so it depends on your health in general.explorer_235 said:Medical is our private health insurance which is subsidised by my employer, I wasn't sure where to put this.
That is often the cycle which is why consolidation rarely works, it requires a real change of mindset and many people fail on the first few attempts so do not feel bad about that. People who work together with a partners are also far more likely to succeed, so you will have that on your side. It also makes the conversation easier with your wife, you have not done anything wrong, wasting money.explorer_235 said:I'm not a gambler or drug taker etc, it's just built up after a sustained period of spending more than we make, then the shortfall is cash is made up by using the credit cards more frequently. I took the Admiral loan out to cover some of the cards, didn't shut them down and then the cycle restarted.
She will not get any defaults unless she defaults on her debts, or joint debts are defaulted on. You can choose to not default one card initially, but that gets more complicated depending on what you do from that point. I think you need to look at your mindset, you are wanting to conserve routes to more debt and that will only bring more pain, if cards get cut off that is not a negative.explorer_235 said:That's a positive with the mortgage, with the rates not in a great place at the moment, at least any eventualities won't affect our mortage with HSBC and we can do a straight rate swap.
RE the Halifax card in her name, is there a way to freeze it and just pay the amount off without it going into default. My rating is going to be nuked, hers somewhat being associated with me but I wanted to try and avoid any direct defaults on her score.
You need to think about your mortgage, current account and emergency funds, they should not be with any banking group that you are going to default on debts with or that complicates things.
First priority is to open an unaffiliated bank account and move everything out.
Would your advice be to instantly stop payments to the creditors? Or should I wait until I have everything set up? The two linkedin are the santander overdraft and the Santander credit card0
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