Progress is...

Cherryfudge

Well done for those achievements.

I'm sorry to hear there's another battle to fight from September. If we can offer any support, please let us know.

beanielou

So sorry to hear DH’s news.

Humdinger1

Sending love @rtandon27. Your determination to hold oafs to account with everything going on is profoundly impressive. Humdinger xx

Cheery_Daff

SSending love and support from me too. All this nonsense is just NOT what you need with OH being poorly too. Big hugs xx

teapot2

Sounds tough all round but definitely worth fighting what you can in the work sphere. Sending a gentle hug x

thriftmonster

Sending hugs

KajiKita

Sending hugs and vibes for OH x

KK

rtandon27

@jessy103 & @themadvix & @Cherryfudge & @beanielou & @Humdinger1 & @Cheery_Daf & @teapot2 & @thriftmonster & @KajiKita

Thank-you my lovely tribe for gathering round the virtual kitchen table and offering support! Please help yourself to the virtual biscuits while you are here xoxoxoxox

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I'm feeling decidedly sorry for myself after spending 2 more hours in the dentists chair yesterday - he discovered a third canal mid-surgery and tackled it on the spot rather than have me come in a third time! I've been with him since 2015 so trust him implicitly - he has a lovely gentle bedside manner which puts me at ease immediately and he's known me both before and after diagnose so knows what baseline is when I'm in his chair! I really do like not having to explain medical history as he's been with me through it all! However the pain in my jaw currently is making me woozy so I'm hoping that being signed off will help the recovery!

I am rather thankful today for the hospice day centre - I packed off OH this morning like an errant school-kid, kicking and screaming about not wanting to go. I'm exhausted so am very happy that the medical professionals get to look after him today and that I'm absolved of duties. Hopefully he will come back in a better mood having had company and being entertained. Caregiver burnout is real and I'm very much at my limit - being terminally ill is no excuse for not being a fully present OH! Feeling like crap is not mutually exclusive to being a good human being! - I speak from experience!

So yesterday on the way to the train station after dental surgery, I broke my walk mid-way at the Arts Library in Westminster, to renew my library card and check out the building - the site is the address of Newton's London home, though the building is a purpose built library from after the 1st world war - the same era as my little terraced house! Libraries are some of my favorite places to be and this one was just glorious in all the right ways. As stairs are still an impediment for me despite all the physio, I was only on the ground floor but hopefully one day I'll be able to get up the grand-staircase and see the other 2 floors! Card is renewed, and I have to say that librarians are my kind of people! So kind, helpful and chatty - no over the top personalities and just happy to have members as their funding is dependant on them! I have three library memberships which is especially useful when looking for e-books and e-audiobooks to borrow - reduces waiting time for the next in a series and keeps me an active member of an institution that I beleive deserves funding! An added bonus - I have been able to read my favorite Canadian living magazine and thumb through every international version of Vogue imaginable! as well as keep abreast of all the latest in various health&wellness magazines. Overall a good bit of compression during a stressful week!

So on to redundancy - I'm currently on medical leave, due to the dental surgery - but nevertheless the not unexpected letter was sent to me - I have an ACAS form already filled in and I have raised my intent to grieve - both due to disability discrimination since my return to the office in '23 and the very shady consultation process. I'm well aware that the employer is making mandated cut backs but the way they framed it is not in keeping with any version of the 2010 Act. So should anyone know or know of a really good disability employment lawyer, please do PM mme the details!

KajiKita

The dental session sounds brutal (however kind the dentist is - and thank goodness you don’t have to go back for a third session of canal-ing! (I have had it done once or twice and it is NOT fun!)) but the library sounds lovely. I’m surprised that the library doesn’t have a lift or some such to allow you to access the other floors …?

I’m sorry OH is somewhat self focused atm, but well done for having boundaries around your time and your expectations of yourself and him. Hopefully he will come back from the hospice session a bit more cheerful and engaged.

Can’t help with the disability lawyer but I do know a top notch HR professional if that helps?

Hope you enjoy a quiet evening and the pain receeds as swiftly if possible and you do at least get some good sleep.

KK

PS - thank you for the virtual biccys 😉😊

Cheery_Daff

Big hugs to you RT xxx Dental nonsense sounds painful despite your lively dentist, and I'm not surprised you're woozy. And I'm glad you managed to get OH to the hospice day care. Carer burnout is indeed real, and I'm glad you are putting your own needs first sometimes too. It must be so difficult, obviously neither of you asked for the situation you're in and you're both doing what you can, but you're right, you can't be expected to have endless patience or no breaks. Hope OH has had a good day.

Are you in touch with any carers organisations? Sorry, can't remember if I've asked before. They've often seemed a great comfort and source of information for people I've worked with before.

Xx