Stepdad has remarried advise about family home

diyprincess75

Hi, I wanted some advice. My stepdad married my mother nearly 30 years before she died last year. He was left with our family home after she passed away. He always advised my sister and I that he had made a will and left us as sole heirs as he didn't have any children of his own and hasn't spoken to any of his own family since he met my mother and didn't want them to have any claim over his assets.

He has been like a 2nd father to us since he met my mother and after her death we have always kept in touch and had that kind of relationship however his contact became less and less and we always seemed to be the ones contacting and visiting him. He told us he remarried we were not invited and didn't even know he had met anyone else and were quite upset to learn about this after the event. She has moved into our family home and it was really upsetting meeting her living there in our family home for the first time. She's a lovely woman who has two children of her own who do not reside there. 

However a question did pop up in conversation with my sister about what happens now if he was to pass away as I believe unless he has updated his will since remarrying (he hasn't mentioned he has and we don't feel able to ask) that she will be left with everything that was my mothers and we will have no claim on this? 

The house and the whole of its contents were my mothers prior to marrying him and the house has been in our family for nearly 100 years we were both born there. 

If this situation was to happen what do we do about it.

Emmia

Sadly your mum could have left you the house with your stepdad having a life interest to live there, but presumably this didn't happen... What did your mum's will say? (Did she have a will)

FlorayG

You are correct, if he has remarried his previous will is now invalid. The best things you can do is ask him about it; you seem to have a good relationship. You could start with an innocent question "Did you update your will now you have remarried?". He may not even be aware it's been invalidated
Of course, if he wants to leave everything to his new wife that's entirely his prerogative and as you are not dependant on him in any way you won't be able to contest that
"He always promised it to us" is not an acceptable argument, unfortunately

Keep_pedalling

Unfortunately your mother made a serious error by not creating an immediate post death interest trust to protect both your step farther’s beneficial interest in his home and her children’s eventual inheritance. He may still have every intention to leave this to his step children but unless he makes a new will that won’t happen. 

It may think it insensitive but one of you needs to ask him if he has made a new will, because a lot of people don’t realise that you have to do this if you marry again. Better to be proactive than leave it to chance.

sheslookinhot

It’s better to tackle the issue now and have an opportunity to discuss/establish his intentions than let it fester and eat away at you.

TripleH

It might also be worth asking (if relationships are good) if there are any mementos you can take away that might be stored there? I mean picture albums etc that have sentimental value to you but not to your step-father as part of the discussion.

This will deflect thatvit is just about money in their eyes.

Marcon

Keep_pedalling said:

Unfortunately your mother made a serious error by not creating an immediate post death interest trust to protect both your step farther’s beneficial interest in his home and her children’s eventual inheritance. He may still have every intention to leave this to his step children but unless he makes a new will that won’t happen. 

It may think it insensitive but one of you needs to ask him if he has made a new will, because a lot of people don’t realise that you have to do this if you marry again. Better to be proactive than leave it to chance.

Maybe after 30 years of marriage she felt leaving the property to her husband was absolutely the right thing to do, and fully understood the consequences - including trusting her beloved partner? Just because a few regular posters on this site bang on about such trusts doesn't mean everyone thinks they're suitable for their own situation.

diyprincess75 said:

However a question did pop up in conversation with my sister about what happens now if he was to pass away as I believe unless he has updated his will since remarrying (he hasn't mentioned he has and we don't feel able to ask) that she will be left with everything that was my mothers and we will have no claim on this? 

The house and the whole of its contents were my mothers prior to marrying him and the house has been in our family for nearly 100 years we were both born there. 

If this situation was to happen what do we do about it.

But that was over 30 years ago. The stuff in the house isn't still going to be all your late mother's property.

If you really want to burn your boats with a man who has been like a second father to you for over 3 decades, then asking about the will, rather than congratulating him on finding new happiness at what is probably quite an advanced age, is the way to go about it.

He now has a wife to provide for, and that really does change the game - BUT it certainly doesn't mean you and your sister are going to be cut out of the picture. It's highly likely that the wife is aware of the situation in respect of wills and marriage - given she has children of her own, it's something she is highly likely to have considered. 

 sheslookinhot said:

It’s better to tackle the issue now and have an opportunity to discuss/establish his intentions than let it fester and eat away at you.

Intentions can change, so whatever he says now means nothing. Backing him into a corner might be a sure-fire way to get a reassuring response and a will which says something else entirely.

An inheritance is only yours once you've actually inherited and a lot can happen along the way - not always welcome. 

sheslookinhot

Marcon said:

 sheslookinhot said:

It’s better to tackle the issue now and have an opportunity to discuss/establish his intentions than let it fester and eat away at you.

Intentions can change, so whatever he says now means nothing. Backing him into a corner might be a sure-fire way to get a reassuring response and a will which says something else entirely.

An inheritance is only yours once you've actually inherited and a lot can happen along the way - not always welcome. 

Without sounding too blunt with the OP, the father’s “intentions” should be stated in a new will. I had assumed that would have been obvious.

“Backing him in to a corner” - what gives you that impression ?

what is your suggestion ?