Advice on mentally getting over car accident

Moonandmoon

Hi, 

I was in a car accident on a minor road with another vehicle. 

I pulled out onto a road, thinking I had enough time but the other driver was speeding. Anyway, we took details. 

I had reported to insurer anyway as you have to. The other driver started taunting me over  texts and asking if I had told lies to insurance. I handed this all over to my insurer, who I had already admitted fault to. Regardless of the speeding and damage to my car, I’m at fault. 

My handler has been lovely and reassuring. Saying it’s my first accident marked at fault for 15 years. I just lost my NCB protection. That, that is what they are there for. To block the other driver on my phone and only answer the phone from them. To send texts the driver sent taunting me and saying about the dash cam footage.  

How do I get over this mentally? I’m really struggling. 

Mildly_Miffed

The other driver is an idiot. Ignore them, block them.

Then just get back on the horse. Start driving again. Stop catastrophising over the incident, and treat it as a reminder to just take that extra moment before pulling out to properly assess the speed of any oncoming traffic.

Have a refresher driving lesson, if you think you'd benefit, from an instructor with a good reputation locally for working with nervous drivers.

Neil8419

A car accident can have a wide range of impacts, both immediate and long-term, affecting not only the individuals involved but also society at large. These impacts can be categorized into physical, emotional, financial, and legal consequences including:

Physical Impacts

Emotional and Psychological Impacts

Financial Impacts

Legal and Administrative Impacts

Social and Societal Impacts

Family and Relationship Impacts

Car accidents can have a significant impact that touches on many aspects of life—from immediate physical harm and financial costs to long-term emotional trauma and legal complications. The ripple effects can also extend to families

chrisw

I agree, the other driver is a bullying idiot. However, they might be concerned that they might be liable in some way, particularly if they are aware they were doing something they shouldn't have been such as speeding. Once your insurance company admits liability, the texts should stop.

Glad to hear you have a sympathetic adviser, just leave it all to them. Whilst it's a big deal to you, this incident is nothing to them and they deal with hundreds of such cases day in, day out. I doubt you will lose your NCB protection, but your premiums may go up a bit.

As above, learn from it. I did a similar thing nearly 40 years ago as someone was overtaking another driver turning left into my road. It's still at the back of my mind when pulling out of a junction.

No real harm done at the end of the day and you will move on from it as time passes.

ButterCheese

What a terrible experience, just block the number and if it continues (e.g. from a different number) than I would report to the police as it's harassment.  They tend to take that sort of thing more seriously than they used to.

I had a similar feeling when I had a minor scrape with another car.  Afterwards, I was very nervous and thought that every journey was going to involve some sort of accident.  This is after I'd been driving cars, vans, motorbikes and tractors for 26 years without a single incident.  I had to force myself to get in the car and just slowly built my confidence up again.  After a year I even took the same route (which was out of my way) as the accident happened.

Just to make it clear, mine was just a minor scrape so it wasn't serious at all, but the affect on my mental health was still huge.  It has taken 2 years until the other party was found at fault and I can finally put it to bed.

sammyjammy

Neil8419 said:

A car accident can have a wide range of impacts, both immediate and long-term, affecting not only the individuals involved but also society at large. These impacts can be categorized into physical, emotional, financial, and legal consequences including:

Physical Impacts

Emotional and Psychological Impacts

Financial Impacts

Legal and Administrative Impacts

Social and Societal Impacts

Family and Relationship Impacts

Car accidents can have a significant impact that touches on many aspects of life—from immediate physical harm and financial costs to long-term emotional trauma and legal complications. The ripple effects can also extend to families

Hmm AI response? Nothing helpful in your post for the OP.

fatbelly

I'm sorry. There are a lot of idiots out there and standards of behaviour seem to be on the decline.

I am afraid the dashcammer trend is making things worse. I do watch the clips on youtube so you could argue I am supporting this. But we do call them out when it is clear that they late-braked or actually accelerated into a situation (!) in order to get footage to submit

I met one of these over the weekend and although there was no contact I would not be surprised to see myself on video.

You need to get back in the car. Time will heal. 15 years without an incident shows you are a good driver. The dashcam channels have their regular contributors who look for several incidents per week. If they film an actual collision that usually gets the 'first clip' position.

Goudy

As others have said, leave it to your insurance company and don't engage with the other party, that's not your job.

By the sounds of your driving record you're probably in the top percentage of good drivers, accident wise.
One in15 years shows you're well up for continuing driving and nothing should be putting you off it.

Yes, we all make mistakes but learn from them rather than beat yourself up with them.
If you keep that in mind, you'll be a better driver than before.

It shook you up and that's totally normal.
You may feel foolish you made a mistake, again totally normal.

But you aren't hurt and by the sounds of it neither is the other party and you have someone reassuring to handle the claim, plus all us lot telling you these feelings will pass and they will.

DullGreyGuy

Certainly agree that the other behaviour is wrong but if you look on here you will find plenty of threads where people feel they've been in a non-fault accident but the TP denies involvement or claims the circumstances were different than the member is stating etc and so to a degree the behaviour may be understandable. 

Ultimately advise them you've passed the matters to your insurers. Give them their telephone number and claim reference number saying all future communications need to go via them. The block the numbers and block anonymous numbers and get on with life. 

Accidents happen, it's why we have to buy insurance. No one died, as evidenced by the texts, and cars can be fixed. There is always an element of luck, or lack of it, in driving and it's not all about skill as a driver. Getting back behind the wheel is key, else is festers and gets worse as time goes on. You'll probably be more cautious for a while and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. In time it'll just be something that happened like the time you closed the draw on your finger but hasn't stopped you opening/closing draws ever again.

Arunmor

Moonandmoon said:

I pulled out onto a road, thinking I had enough time but the other driver was speeding. Anyway, we took details. 

Half your problem is as the above sentence highlights is you haven't come to terms that its your fault, you pulled out when unsafe to do so and now blame the other driver, his conduct is utterly appalling and his actions suggest he was probably going to fast, but nothing you can do about that.

Sounds like you need to work through the 7 stages of grief.  Once it is all sorted it will begin to fade.