Paying off £37065 unsecured debt by July 2027 while continuing to travel this amazing world

Nintud

stymied said:

I'm horrified and saddened on your behalf by the lack of even a birthday card especially from the grandchildren 😢

Is the leasehold maintenance payment high enough to be worth challenging or is there a reason for the increase e.g. planned maintenance/ decorating this year?

They’ve been saying they’ll decorate the hallway for the past 3 years!

Nintud

Humdinger1 said:

@Nintud when the Christmas frenzy has died down, is it worth raising the lack of acknowledgement given to your birthday with the children? I would be so sad.  You could do it in a low key way. Love Humdinger xx 

I think I will raise it closer to my next birthday. It’s not ignored with malice, but it does feel like they don’t give a 💩 about me until they want something from me. They don’t ignore it to hurt me, I’m just not anyone’s priority.  A couple of years ago I received a novelty tea light from one of my daughters, I actually cried at that because that year I had paid her rental deposit and two month’s rent to secure her a family home. The novelty candle was rude, and I didn’t find it funny.  She has no idea that it upset me, or that I found it offensive, but come on, I give you nearly £3k and you gift me an innuendo candle!!

Nintud

On a more positive note. £35.50 in new Vinted sales have just been posted. 

lucielle

I feel your pain re birthdays. My DDs are pretty good but the DS’ are awful, no cards. I do feel like not bothering with them next year. 

L

Purplelady65

I would be very upset if I had six children and didn’t even receive a card for my birthday. I think that’s terrible! I think you should let them know how disappointed you were not to receive a card let alone a present. It probably hasn’t occurred to them that you would be upset about it. 

Nintud

Purplelady65 said:

I would be very upset if I had six children and didn’t even receive a card for my birthday. I think that’s terrible! I think you should let them know how disappointed you were not to receive a card let alone a present. It probably hasn’t occurred to them that you would be upset about it. 

I think you’re right and it hasn’t occurred to them. They’ve not considered that as I’m single there is no partner buying me a present. They may even think their siblings give me something so I won’t notice if I’m missing a card from them. 

Eldest daughter has just called to say her boyfriend has dumped her, so no way I’m mentioning anything to her, as I’ll not be saying anything to the eldest, I won’t mention it to the others. I suppose I should just be a grown up about it, accept that Christmas is for children and move on. I know they appreciate me, they’re just rubbish at showing it!  Getting blue over the absence of a piece of card, or a token gift is daft really, and not in the spirit of Christmas (can you hear me trying to reason with my inner child here!)

Moneywhizz

I think everyone can understand why you are a bit upset about no recognition of your birthday. I am sure you are not looking for expensive gifts/cards but even a visit on the day with a bunch of flowers, or a phone call to say Happy Birthday or even a lunch/coffee and cake out, would make it seem like they are at least thinking about you and appreciating you. Lots of families have cut back on buying adults gifts but that doesn't mean they just ignore the birthday. I would just be sending a card to the adult children this year, and still buying a small gift for the grandchildren. Sounds like a good idea to make your own plans to celebrate your birthday next year. 

biggerpickle

Oh Nintud, feel your birthday pain - my kids were with the ex on my birthday (first birthday post divorce that's happened) and I didn't get a text,, phone call or card or anything. I did send a tirade of messages to the ex though and made my feelings very clear. Same thing happened on mothers day so I don't know why I was thinking my birthday would be any different.

RelievedSheff

I think you are quite right to be upset with your children for not acknowledging Christmas and birthdays.

Christmas isn't a child's occasion it is a family occasion. 

Nintud

biggerpickle said:

Oh Nintud, feel your birthday pain - my kids were with the ex on my birthday (first birthday post divorce that's happened) and I didn't get a text,, phone call or card or anything. I did send a tirade of messages to the ex though and made my feelings very clear. Same thing happened on mother’s day so I don't know why I was thinking my birthday would be any different.

I received a Mother’s Day card from one of my adult daughters. I need to make my own arrangements for that day next year too.

 I’m pulling up my grown up socks today. Need to finish the Christmas Day preparations. Going to get Alexa churning out the Christmas tunes. Finish the present wrapping and cut an early slice of Christmas cake for my afternoon tea break.

Ive got some very cheap dining chairs arriving from ikea (£87 inc delivery for four!), so the teens can put them together as their contribution to Christmas. Final Christmas food shop arriving from Mr S at 9pm tonight.

off to vacuum the living room now. The carpet has finally dried from its machine deep clean, the rug can go down (I’ve had it since erm….January, and it’s still in its wrapping!).