It has to start now

TimeToChange98

I have to be perfectly honest here, please dont judge me. I have about £19,000 in debt and I am not getting on well with it. I am currently earning just under £26,000 a year, but am looking for slightly higher paid jobs to give me some more breathing room. I've kept this a secret from my partner as we are trying to save for a house, and I want to sort this myself so as to not jeopardise that in the future. Its hard right now with everything, its my own fault/stupidity I'm here and I want to come out of it as best as I can. I haven't actually told anyone about this because I know that when I do, my life will come crumbling down. It ashames me to admit, but even writing this, I am struggling to hold back tears. I guess I'm putting all this here to get this out in the open and see what happens

RAS

Hi, glad you've come in here. There will be options about which you need to think.

Do you have any shared accounts with your partner?

Grumpelstiltskin

OK You have taken the first step, you must tell your partner, which would be best, telling them or them finding out another way?

What you owe is not a huge amount, it's only money, your life will not come crumbling down. Take a deep breath, realize today is the first day of the rest of your life and take control of your debt. 

Start by reading this thread
In Debt and Wannabe Debt Free? first Steps to take are here, please read, then ask questions. — MoneySavingExpert Forum

If you complete a SOA we can see the best way to help you.

TimeToChange98

We dont have any joint accounts together, and i know its bad, but i really dont want to tell them, they make less than i do and have worked so hard to scrimp away. I want to minimize this as best as i can

RAS

We understand you don't want to tell your partner. And that's normal.

However there are numerous threads where couples have survived when the debtor told their partner. But now may be too soon. But at the very least don't prevaricate or tell untruths if you are asked direct questions.

Read the thread posted above, do an SOA (link in kimwp's signature) and if possible share here. 

Since you are in a relationship, you need to indicate your partner's income and the proportion of each household expense that you pay.

Sometimes we find that one of the reasons for debt is someone earning 30% of the income and paying 50% of the living costs. or the other person spending money that as a couple you cannot afford because you have never budgeted as a couple. Ignorance isn't always bliss.

TimeToChange98

Thanks for all the advice, i thought i had a handle on it, but I was a lot weaker than i thought. My energy payments are reducing though, so that should give me a bit more to play with. Most of the debt is in 0% interest cards, but atm i don't feel like Im making any progress. I'll try and fill out one of those forms tomorrow or early next week!

Rob5342

There's no judgement here, lots of us have been in similar situations so we know exactly whats its like. There is always an answer and once you start talking tsckle it you can really get on top. Of it. I got into £42k of credit card debt and was ashamed to admit it and kept trying to keep going as I was. Once I faced up to it I quickly had a plan in place and was soon feeling far better about it.

I agree about telling your partner, if you work together you can put all your energy imto dealing with debts instead or f into keeping things from them. It comes uo quite frequently here,  it's a very difficult conversation to have but in most cases the outcome has been nowhere near as bad as they thought it might be. 

RAS

Glad you are still on 0% cards.

When you fill in the SOA, you need to add the current APR, when the deal ends and what the APR will be if you can't balance transfer onwards. 

In the short term, you need to stabilise the situation, then look at tackling the debt.

But first let's see where you are.

kimwp

RAS said:

We understand you don't want to tell your partner. And that's normal.

However there are numerous threads where couples have survived when the debtor told their partner. But now may be too soon. But at the very least don't prevaricate or tell untruths if you are asked direct questions.

Read the thread posted above, do an SOA (link in kimwp's signature) and if possible share here. 

Since you are in a relationship, you need to indicate your partner's income and the proportion of each household expense that you pay.

Sometimes we find that one of the reasons for debt is someone earning 30% of the income and paying 50% of the living costs. or the other person spending money that as a couple you cannot afford because you have never budgeted as a couple. Ignorance isn't always bliss.

SOA Link 👇 To be useful, it needs to accurately reflect all your spends - big ones, small ones, ones that only happen once a year - all need to be in it.