Romance fraud

dawniebabes99

Help.  I'm at the end of my tether with this. I've been a council tenant for 21 years so earned 52% reduction on the price of my house in a RTB.  I met my husband 5 years ago.  We married 3 years ago. Now he wants to divorce me. !!!!!!!!!! And wants half the house. There's still £128000 left on the mortgages but house is worth 220000 surely after 3 years he's not entitles to that. What is the world coming to. 
We married after we put in the RTB and it's stated that I'd racked up the discount and could use that as a deposit. Was a massive 86000! 
We have a 2 year old child together and an 11 yr old boy from a previous relationship. I'm NOT selling my house as I know I don't have to. Why is the government allowing people to do this. I love my husband unconditionally and I've told him but he's set on a divorce and won't even converse with me. He wants his money. 
Yes he does see his daughter every week. Pick up n drop offs kill me inside  

DE_612183

Unfortunately when it comes to divorce the starting point for any discussions is 50/50.

However that includes all assets, including any savings he has and any pensions.

When you bought the house was in put in joint names?

Have you contacted Refuge or Womens Aid?

Mark_d

I would try to work with a mediator to facilitate conversation between you and your husband.  You want a solution that works for everyone including the kids.

A relationship breakdown is never nice but the two of you did hold it together for 5 years.

If you had put a deposit to 86k cash in to the property than you'd have grounds to claim you're entitled to more than half the property value.  But as it was a discount, and as there is no legal paperwork agreeing a non-equal split between you and your husband, I think he has a genuine claim to 50% of all assets including the house.  Having said that, as the kids live with you in the house, I think the court would give you more rights over the house.

Your husband clearly loves his daughter.  This suggests that he has not been fraudulent in terms of what you've shared

DullGreyGuy

dawniebabes99 said:

Help.  I'm at the end of my tether with this. I've been a council tenant for 21 years so earned 52% reduction on the price of my house in a RTB.  I met my husband 5 years ago.  We married 3 years ago. Now he wants to divorce me. !!!!!!!!!! And wants half the house. There's still £128000 left on the mortgages but house is worth 220000 surely after 3 years he's not entitles to that. What is the world coming to. 
We married after we put in the RTB and it's stated that I'd racked up the discount and could use that as a deposit. Was a massive 86000! 
We have a 2 year old child together and an 11 yr old boy from a previous relationship. I'm NOT selling my house as I know I don't have to. Why is the government allowing people to do this. I love my husband unconditionally and I've told him but he's set on a divorce and won't even converse with me. He wants his money. 
Yes he does see his daughter every week. Pick up n drop offs kill me inside  

5 years, a kid and marriage doesn't sound like "romance fraud" so the thread titles is a little OTT.

Ultimately you are married and the general concept of marriage is that when you split everything is split 50/50. There can be reasons to deviate from the 50/50 but its hard to do... many say they worked and their wife just stayed at home and looked after the kids etc but that isn't sufficient as its in part enabled by her doing the home and child care. 

Whilst things are divided equally it doesn't mean it has to be literally everyone gets half of everything. You've got £92k of equity in the house, if they had a £100k pension pot you could effectively offset so rather than having to sell the property or split the pension pot they gave you £2.5k then thats achieved the equal divide. 

Exodi

dawniebabes99 said:

Help.  I'm at the end of my tether with this. I've been a council tenant for 21 years so earned 52% reduction on the price of my house in a RTB.  I met my husband 5 years ago.  We married 3 years ago. Now he wants to divorce me. !!!!!!!!!! And wants half the house. There's still £128000 left on the mortgages but house is worth 220000 surely after 3 years he's not entitles to that. What is the world coming to. 
We married after we put in the RTB and it's stated that I'd racked up the discount and could use that as a deposit. Was a massive 86000! 
We have a 2 year old child together and an 11 yr old boy from a previous relationship. I'm NOT selling my house as I know I don't have to. Why is the government allowing people to do this. I love my husband unconditionally and I've told him but he's set on a divorce and won't even converse with me. He wants his money. 
Yes he does see his daughter every week. Pick up n drop offs kill me inside  

The first thing I'd want to know is when you purchased the house, if you purchased it together and how you hold it (e.g. joint tenants or tenants in common).

As you were only married for five years, this would generally be seen as a 'short marriage' where the starting point would be typically putting you in the position you were before the marriage (though this is somewhat complicated by a child being involved).

It may be the case that irrelevant of marriage, if you purchased the house as joint tenants, without a deed of trust or anything in place to protect (what you see as) your deposit then you had already set yourself up for this potentially happening.

How many nights does his daughter spend with him? Is there an agreement on child maintenance.

DullGreyGuy said:

dawniebabes99 said:

Help.  I'm at the end of my tether with this. I've been a council tenant for 21 years so earned 52% reduction on the price of my house in a RTB.  I met my husband 5 years ago.  We married 3 years ago. Now he wants to divorce me. !!!!!!!!!! And wants half the house. There's still £128000 left on the mortgages but house is worth 220000 surely after 3 years he's not entitles to that. What is the world coming to. 
We married after we put in the RTB and it's stated that I'd racked up the discount and could use that as a deposit. Was a massive 86000! 
We have a 2 year old child together and an 11 yr old boy from a previous relationship. I'm NOT selling my house as I know I don't have to. Why is the government allowing people to do this. I love my husband unconditionally and I've told him but he's set on a divorce and won't even converse with me. He wants his money. 
Yes he does see his daughter every week. Pick up n drop offs kill me inside  

5 years, a kid and marriage doesn't sound like "romance fraud" so the thread titles is a little OTT.

@DullGreyGuy 3 years marriage but totally agree that the fraud claim in the thread title is not appropriate.

DullGreyGuy

Exodi said:

DullGreyGuy said:

dawniebabes99 said:

Help.  I'm at the end of my tether with this. I've been a council tenant for 21 years so earned 52% reduction on the price of my house in a RTB.  I met my husband 5 years ago.  We married 3 years ago. Now he wants to divorce me. !!!!!!!!!! And wants half the house. There's still £128000 left on the mortgages but house is worth 220000 surely after 3 years he's not entitles to that. What is the world coming to. 
We married after we put in the RTB and it's stated that I'd racked up the discount and could use that as a deposit. Was a massive 86000! 
We have a 2 year old child together and an 11 yr old boy from a previous relationship. I'm NOT selling my house as I know I don't have to. Why is the government allowing people to do this. I love my husband unconditionally and I've told him but he's set on a divorce and won't even converse with me. He wants his money. 
Yes he does see his daughter every week. Pick up n drop offs kill me inside  

5 years, a kid and marriage doesn't sound like "romance fraud" so the thread titles is a little OTT.

DullGreyGuy 3 years marriage but totally agree that the fraud claim in the thread title is not appropriate.

5 years since meeting him, 3 years marriage... given its a "fraud" my guess is a whirlwind romance hence 5 years together assumption. Not sure the average fraudsters works on a mark for 2 years unless they are a millionaire 

Exodi

DullGreyGuy said:

Exodi said:

DullGreyGuy said:

dawniebabes99 said:

Help.  I'm at the end of my tether with this. I've been a council tenant for 21 years so earned 52% reduction on the price of my house in a RTB.  I met my husband 5 years ago.  We married 3 years ago. Now he wants to divorce me. !!!!!!!!!! And wants half the house. There's still £128000 left on the mortgages but house is worth 220000 surely after 3 years he's not entitles to that. What is the world coming to. 
We married after we put in the RTB and it's stated that I'd racked up the discount and could use that as a deposit. Was a massive 86000! 
We have a 2 year old child together and an 11 yr old boy from a previous relationship. I'm NOT selling my house as I know I don't have to. Why is the government allowing people to do this. I love my husband unconditionally and I've told him but he's set on a divorce and won't even converse with me. He wants his money. 
Yes he does see his daughter every week. Pick up n drop offs kill me inside  

5 years, a kid and marriage doesn't sound like "romance fraud" so the thread titles is a little OTT.

DullGreyGuy 3 years marriage but totally agree that the fraud claim in the thread title is not appropriate.

5 years since meeting him, 3 years marriage... given its a "fraud" my guess is a whirlwind romance hence 5 years together assumption. Not sure the average fraudsters works on a mark for 2 years unless they are a millionaire 

Sorry yes I misinterpreted what you said earlier as "5 years marriage", doh! Yes completely.

Pollycat

Might be worth taking a look at this website: 
https://divorce.wikivorce.com/

elsien

How long ago did you buy the property, because if it was less than five years, you will have to pay back some of the discount if you sell anyway. Is he aware of that?