Etiquette when meeting your colleagues for the first time

Dannydee333

I work 100% remotely for a US-based company and have been with them for 2 years.

Next week I'm travelling to a work event for the first time and will be meeting my boss, the CEO, a bunch of the VPs, and directors. I'm low-level in comparison to everyone else, even though my role is a much-valued and important one.

Anyway, I am nervous about meeting up to 20 co-workers face-to-face for the first time. Do you just shake hands with everyone? Do you shake hands and hug those you work most closely with because you know them better than others? We're going to be having dinner together and stuff. I'm not socially shy or anything, I'm just worried I might feel a little out of my depth. Perhaps I'm overthinking it but I don't want to go around shaking hands with absolutely everyone if it's too much, but at the same time, I definitely wouldn't want to come across as overly laid-back and give some of them a negative first impression.

I think it's important to note that everyone I work with are absolutely awesome, friendly people and I have never had a negative experience in my whole time there. I guess therein lies my answer. What do I actually have to worry about when I technically have no reason to think otherwise?

It's not so much about the team, it's about the fact I've worked with them for 2 years and I'm only meeting them now, 2 years later. It induces a little anxiety.

Do you just go with the flow and allow things to play out as they are supposed to?

I'm probably overthinking it.

DullGreyGuy

I'd play it like a meeting, offer a handshake to those you first meet/are close to you and a more informal wave/nod to those later/further away. Really though just take the responses of others to guide you... if they offer their hand out then shake it anyway. There are still some who prefer less physical contact in the post covid world. You can always blame traditional British reservedness if needs be. 

moneysaver1978

I was in the same situation as you several years ago. It all depends how you close you are to your colleagues - are they easy going, friendly, formal? I met my US colleagues first time, and some we hugged, some we shook hands.

But definitely start with a happy face and a "so good to meet you properly finally!".

And maybe bring some British goodies (like biscuits, or whatnot) as little hello gifts.

Grumpy_chap

Dannydee333 said:

Do you shake hands and hug those you work most closely with because you know them better than others? 

I would not hug - that might be seen as too forward.

I'd probably just shake hands, certainly with the first of the 20-odd and then adjust interaction up or down as progressing through the group.

If in doubt, though, simply gently kiss-the-hand and bow or curtsy.  If you get any funny looks, simply put on a posh voice and say "Oh, that's how we British do things"

Undervalued

Dannydee333 said:

I work 100% remotely for a US-based company and have been with them for 2 years.

Next week I'm travelling to a work event for the first time and will be meeting my boss, the CEO, a bunch of the VPs, and directors. I'm low-level in comparison to everyone else, even though my role is a much-valued and important one.

Anyway, I am nervous about meeting up to 20 co-workers face-to-face for the first time. Do you just shake hands with everyone? Do you shake hands and hug those you work most closely with because you know them better than others? We're going to be having dinner together and stuff. I'm not socially shy or anything, I'm just worried I might feel a little out of my depth. Perhaps I'm overthinking it but I don't want to go around shaking hands with absolutely everyone if it's too much, but at the same time, I definitely wouldn't want to come across as overly laid-back and give some of them a negative first impression.

I think it's important to note that everyone I work with are absolutely awesome, friendly people and I have never had a negative experience in my whole time there. I guess therein lies my answer. What do I actually have to worry about when I technically have no reason to think otherwise?

It's not so much about the team, it's about the fact I've worked with them for 2 years and I'm only meeting them now, 2 years later. It induces a little anxiety.

Do you just go with the flow and allow things to play out as they are supposed to?

I'm probably overthinking it.

Two countries divided by a common language, as Churchill famously said!

More seriously I think you would be better asking this question on a similar American forum. Or maybe it is best just to be your British self rather than try to second guess a foreign culture? 

Brie

You don't seem to mention what country you work in and where you'll be meeting your colleagues.

If your a Brit and they're Yanks they may be more likely to pull you into a hug or at least a bit of a "grab the shoulders" type embrace.  Maybe they will put out a hand to shake yours and slap your shoulder with a bit of enthusiasm.  

If you're the Yank and they're the Brits then I doubt any of them will be initiating more than a warm handshake.  Hopefully with a friendly smile.

I'm in neither camp so am often fascinated to see how the various nationalities do the meet and greets.

And no matter which you are everyone likes treats so whether it's some welshcakes or M&S Percy Pigs (my nephew loves the fizzy tails) or some Twinkies or Hershey Kisses it will all be appreciated.  

robatwork

Run along the line, hand up high fiving and fist bumping everyone, while shouting yeah, hah, woooo.

At least that's what US television has taught me. 

gt568

If you try and hug me at work you will regret it!

Shake hands and say hello.

Dannydee333

Thanks for the replies, advice, and thoughts. Even the comical ones 😋

I should have clarified, given that almost everyone alluded to Britishness and behaving in a British manner etc 😄 .. I'm Irish (from Belfast), they're American, and we're all meeting in England, so I don't think putting on a British accent is going to go down well haha.

Although there are going to be some of our English colleagues there too, so I guess there will be plenty of behaviour from all directions from which I can take my lead.

Whilst I don't believe Irish and English people are wildly different in terms of humour and behaviours, I will absolutely not be bringing biscuits 🤭😄 but thanku for the idea.

I think when it's over, it is most likely going to be a case of, what the hell was I worried about? Because as I'm sure most of us know, situations and scenarios we have anticipatory anxiety over rarely turn out to be the scary experience we think it will be.

Dannydee333

moneysaver1978 said:

It all depends how you close you are to your colleagues - are they easy going, friendly, formal? I met my US colleagues first time, and some we hugged, some we shook hands.

But definitely start with a happy face and a "so good to meet you properly finally!".

Yeah I am closer with some more than others, but everyone is so friendly and approachable (albeit I've only ever interacted remotely, I don't imagine anyone being any different in person). From this group, I am closest to my boss. He even gave me a 20% pay bump a few weeks ago and is working on a promotion for me... So it's not like I'm not wanted there! I most likely have very little to worry about, given the great experience I've had at this company. It's obviously just the first time I've worked at a company for 2 years before meeting anyone physically and that seems a tad daunting.

Savvy_Sue

Grumpy_chap said:

Dannydee333 said:

Do you shake hands and hug those you work most closely with because you know them better than others? 

<snip>

If in doubt, though, simply gently kiss-the-hand and bow or curtsy.  If you get any funny looks, simply put on a posh voice and say "Oh, that's how we British do things"

And of course, according to a gentleman friend who does things 'proper', it's your own hand you kiss, not theirs. He also adds 'delighted to meet me'. 

As a lady, I would not kiss anyone else's hand, for the record.