sorry to pester you with this question

Keep_pedalling

stu12345_2 said:

but her only assets are illiquid ones, not cash.she has no cash.

I'm not counting chickens as you put it, I'm following the advice I got from the debt camel website about any possible inheritance if you apply for a dro,IVA or bankruptcy and how it should be in your 1 to 5 years considerations when you apply.

( perhaps others reading this don't realise that, especially those that apply for an IVA)

I don't think I will pester her to explain what a dro is and how any inheritance she has planned for me and brother will effect it.

last year she had a long chat on phone to me to explain who gets what and not to worry about money in the future as she knows that things will eventually happen, that's why she also told me my brother is her executor now and she wasn't holding back about talking about death and her will to me.

this was the first time ever she has brought up the subject of a will ever to me, in all my life and hers.

it was just that last Sunday I told her that I think I've managed to get a solution that will clear our debts, she said tell me this Sunday what that is exactly , cos she is concerned about me and my wife 

I was concerned about Parkinson's disease, I know she will refuse to go into a home, she has her marbles, she is super sharp and is managing fine with her home helps 

and anyway it would only effect my dro , not my wife's dro

thanks for all your advice folks,I've made my decision to what to do and what to say

The point I was making is that by the time she dies the house may have been sold because she needed residential care which is highly likely as she already gets 4 home visits a day which is the maximum any LA will provide. Someone with advanced Parkinson's is almost certainly going to need 24/7 care at some point.  

stu12345_2

Voyager2002 said:

I think that this needs to be a face-to-face conversation with her.

First, however, you need to ensure that your brother is on the same page as you.

Then, assuming you trust him, keep things simple for your mother. She does not need to know the details of a DRO. She needs to know that you are asking her to change her will and to leave your share of her possessions to your brother. She would want to know that there is a reason for this, along with an assurance that you trust your brother and are confident that he would pass some of the inheritance along to you.

yes, I know my mum hates credit card companies etc and sees them as evil things.she thinks the interest they charge and have had over the years is more than enough.

thats why she hates debt, she thinks everything should be cash except a manageable mortgage, which mum and dad cleared years ago, no new cars in HP etc. no foreign holidays ever, dad used to fix the ford cortina in rain and we had a week's hols in Blackpool guest house..

this is why she is so adamant that her house goes to brother and I and not to creditors, as she has gone without so much in life to be able to gift us it to make our final years in our lifes a bit more comfortable 

Flugelhorn

Things to think about - 

Can she get attendance allowance ? 

My father had Parkinsons and needed a lot of care  for several years, if your mother needs residential care then likely to property would have to be sold and there would be no or little to inherit.

TBH I think you would be better dealing with your debts than asking mum to change her will at the present time - she might find all this far too distressing 

sourcrates

Right, how do I put this, stop looking for potential problems here.

You have got your DRO, and I realise you are anxious about it failing, but mum doesn't need to know about it, nor does the will need changing, she might outlive you, you never know!!

You will drive yourself nuts overthinking everything that could potentially go wrong, concentrate on what is actually happening, and not what could happen, otherwise your no better off than you were before you were granted the DRO.

I think your a natural worrier stu, but you have to draw a line under things otherwise the last few months will have been for nothing, all the advice, and help you have received won`t count for anything if you continue to speculate on things.

Also, respectfully,  this is the bankruptcy board, and this is not a bankruptcy related issue.

stu12345_2

can you close and delete this thread sourcrates, I'm going out and I'm not going to overthink or over worry again. time to enjoy life

time for a break from posting any silly worrying., it's even on all my school report cards lol, born worrier , but very funny person at same time.

went out last night to bingo, part of our leisure allowance and won £500

have a nice day everyone, I'm going to try and have one too.

LinLui

There is absolutely nothing more likely to ruin a "close family relationship" than inheritance squabbles. Once the money is all in your brothers name it is his. Full stop. He may give you half. He may not.