sorry to pester you with this question

stu12345_2

my mother is 87, the only parent I have left,my dad died 24 years ago, she lives 600 miles away in the north of Scotland and I do a WhatsApp call every Sunday.
she is housebound due to mobility problems and gets free homehelps 4 times a day from council.

social services funding and rules seems to be better in Scotland for help than England.

she only has state pension, pension  credit and a tiny pension from my late father's defined benefit pension.no savings.

this is cos she has stage 3 Parkinson's and can't hold fork, cook, dress , wash or walk properly now. she falls sometimes and has emergency tag to activate.

she also has a tiny growth in her chest for last 6 months that a biopsy was taken last few days.

her brain is still super sharp and so is her tongue when she gets annoyed., that's when I try to understand what's she saying.due to her poor speech now.

my point is she knows wife and I are in debt, but never how much. she probably  thinks it's £500, but it was £54,000 2 years ago including cars.
she says folk that work should never be in debt, she and my dad always had that rule and belief.

she still thinks we both still have newish cars were paying off, she doesn't know we sold them to clear the HP 2 years ago and own an old banger now.( that's why I visit her by plane or train)

she has told me 1 year ago that her only asset her home, worth £100,000 is split equally between myself and brother, he is the executor at moment, he's very well off and very clever and lives in same town as her.

tonight I'm going to call her and explain about my dro the best I can and exactly why we got one.
she will be annoyed , I know she will, and thinking the best way to explain to her and if she should change her will now.,  so that in that should the worse happen in next 12 months , elder brother gets her home, but after the dro completes he releases my share back to me after house sale, he is very well off and we are very close


sorry to ask this to you, cos during the initial dro interview with debt advisor I was asked will anything major happen in next 12 months, I said no, this is true, but no idea how long stage 3 Parkinson will last, now she got this little growth in her chest too.

she said to me a year ago, that her home is to be her gift to brother and I and use it wisely for when she passes whenever that maybe.

GrumpyDil

I'm not sure exactly what you are asking here.

When your mother passes the property will pass to you jointly.

In most instances the property would then be sold and the proceeds shared between you, so I'm not sure what you need changing in the will.

stu12345_2

if she changes will now so brother gets it all, eg the house, if my mum passes in next 12 months then it won't effect dro.

so if bro sells house and he would give me my half share at end of dro, cos we are close and he is very trustworthy , but he doesn't like things like moving things at this late stage . he has enough stress being her executor at moment 

plus how exactly do I explain to her what a dro is and how any windfall above £2000 will cancel it. the mere mention of the phrase insolvency will devastate her that one of her grown children has to resort to it, whilst the other sibling has been successful and wealthy 

she is adament that the house is not be be wasted. on debts.but all to used as my future pension 

again sorry for asking that question, but was reading debt camel website and it says if you are going for dro or bankruptcy, then you should consider any possible inheritance in next 12 months , but if you are going for IVA then you should seriously be working out any larger inheritance high possibility in next 5 years.

especially from an ill or very elderly parent 

Emmia

stu12345_2 said:

if she changes will now so brother gets it all, eg the house, if my mum passes in next 12 months then it won't effect dro.

then eventually bro sells house and he would give me my half share cos we are close and he is very trustworthy , but he doesn't like things like moving things at this late stage . he has enough stress being her executor at moment 

plus how exactly do I explain to her what a dro is and how any windfall above £2000 will cancel it. the mere mention of the phrase bankruptcy will devastate her that one of her grown children has to resort to it, whilst the other sibling has been successful and wealthy 

she is adament that the house is not be be wasted. on debts.but used as my future pension 

again sorry for asking that question, but was reading debt camel website and it says if you are going for dro or bankruptcy, then you should consider any possible inheritance in next 12 months , but if you are going for IVA then you should seriously be working out any larger inheritance high possibility in next 5 years.

especially from an ill or very elderly parent 

Let's say your mum changes her will and your brother inherits everything when she passes.

A few months later he too passes away, his estate would then be distributed according to his will which could leave it all to his wife and kids, or charity or whatever, or the rules of intestacy if he doesn't have a will. 

You could easily end up with nothing, and all to try and hide a (potential) windfall. If you inherit from your mum, you could use the money to put yourself back on track - it doesn't matter really whether she would approve,.

stu12345_2

yes, thanks EMMIA,  here is what debt camel says. I know none of this has happened, but it's always at back of mind with her being so ill and very old., 2 years ago, was told to get emergency flight to Scotland as she was very ill, but pulled through.

tbh I think the easiest thing is if the worst came to the worst , the dro would be revoked, creditors would not be informed why, and I would hit them with low full and final settlement offers , not explaining where the source of the money came from.

Emmia

stu12345_2 said:

yes, thanks EMMIA,  here is what debt camel says. I know none of this has happened, but it's always at back of mind with her being so ill and very old., 2 years ago, was told to get emergency flight to Scotland as she was very ill, but pulled through.

tbh I think the easiest thing is if the worst came to the worst , the dro would be revoked, creditors would not be informed why, and I would hit them with low full and final settlement offers.

Can I ask why your signature states that "Christians against poverty solved my debt problem" when the topic of this thread would suggest otherwise.

Tucosalamanca

Just my opinion, why would you want to trouble your 87yr old mother with this?

You haven't been entirely honest with her to this point, why change now?

Let her final days be worry free and do as you see fit once she's gone.

Any consequences are your problem, not your elderly mothers, who clearly has enough to be dealing with already....

stu12345_2

yes, I think I'm over thinking, none of this has happend and it may not happen for a few more years hopefully and she enjoys her life some more years

, yes CAP solved my debt problems as other charities refused dro on their wrong rules due to them getting it wrong.where as CAP knew the rules exactly and used them correctly which worked out for us

and they have indeed solved my debt problems,  and as this thread is about future things that may not happen in the timescale I'm worried about cos I'm simply a worrier, nothing to do with the debt charity

Keep_pedalling

Tucosalamanca said:

Just my opinion, why would you want to trouble your 87yr old mother with this?

You have been entirely honest with her to this point, why change now?

Let her final days be worry free and do as you see fit once she's gone.

Any consequences are your problem, not your elderly mothers, who clearly has enough to be dealing with already....

I 100% agree with this, I think it would be cruel to involve her with this scheme and your brother may not be too keen on this either.

You are also very much counting your chickens, there is a good chance that your mother will end her days in residential care so there may be no house to inherit, and under Scottish law you can’t disinherit a child when your only remaining assets are liquid ones, so even if her will left everything to your brother you would still have a right to inherit half of the estate.

stu12345_2

but her only assets are illiquid ones, not cash.she has no cash.

I'm not counting chickens as you put it, I'm following the advice I got from the debt camel website about any possible inheritance if you apply for a dro,IVA or bankruptcy and how it should be in your 1 to 5 years considerations when you apply.

( perhaps others reading this don't realise that, especially those that apply for an IVA)

I don't think I will pester her to explain what a dro is and how any inheritance she has planned for me and brother will effect it.

last year she had a long chat on phone to me to explain who gets what and not to worry about money in the future as she knows that things will eventually happen, that's why she also told me my brother is her executor now and she wasn't holding back about talking about death and her will to me.

this was the first time ever she has brought up the subject of a will ever to me, in all my life and hers.

it was just that last Sunday I told her that I think I've managed to get a solution that will clear our debts, she said tell me this Sunday what that is exactly , cos she is concerned about me and my wife 

I was concerned about Parkinson's disease, I know she will refuse to go into a home, she has her marbles, she is super sharp and is managing fine with her home helps 

and anyway it would only effect my dro , not my wife's dro

thanks for all your advice folks,I've made my decision to what to do and what to say

Voyager2002

I think that this needs to be a face-to-face conversation with her.

First, however, you need to ensure that your brother is on the same page as you.

Then, assuming you trust him, keep things simple for your mother. She does not need to know the details of a DRO. She needs to know that you are asking her to change her will and to leave your share of her possessions to your brother. She would want to know that there is a reason for this, along with an assurance that you trust your brother and are confident that he would pass some of the inheritance along to you.