Mum wants me to help her get a mortgage

General_Grant

thesynth said:

Hi all, as the title suggests, my mum wants to get a mortgage for a house but she is afraid she will get rejected by the mortgage application and wants me to give my payslip and work contract to help with that.

Her partner got rejected because he doesn't make enough money, £24,000, my mum makes roughly £60,000 and I make £34,000.

She's mentioned that I won't be paying anything but my name will be on it and she ensures she can afford it but I'm still a bit wary and don't want that type of stuff over my head right now. For context I just turned 25, I am trying to start my own business and trying to move out also. I also have a loan and credit card I am paying off with no problems with monthly payments on that front.

I don't know the most about the subject but what I do know is I lose my first time buyer, may have to potentially pay stamp duty(?) and I will be legally liable should anything happen down the line.

We had a discussion where she got heated and it felt like she was trying to gaslight me, mentioning I'm not helping out my mother, she's family and not some stranger etc. However for me, I unfortunately come first and don't want to take any risks that wouldn't have any benefit and I just generally don't feel comfortable with it.

Do the pros outweigh the cons, should I help out?

And you are her child, you are family and not some stranger - so she shouldn't be making your life difficult.

This would make your financial life more difficult in the future.  So do not do it.

Are you living with her rent-free and not contributing to household expenses?  If you are making a financial contribution then, when you move out, she would have less income and might find it harder to pay the mortgage company.  If you aren't paying anything, then your moving out could actually reduce her outgoings.

Does her "partner" contribute?  What if he left?

At the age of 25 you should be leaving home, cutting the apron strings.

General_Grant

thesynth said:

Hi all, as the title suggests, my mum wants to get a mortgage for a house but she is afraid she will get rejected by the mortgage application and wants me to give my payslip and work contract to help with that.

Her partner got rejected because he doesn't make enough money, £24,000, my mum makes roughly £60,000 and I make £34,000.

She's mentioned that I won't be paying anything but my name will be on it and she ensures she can afford it but I'm still a bit wary and don't want that type of stuff over my head right now. For context I just turned 25, I am trying to start my own business and trying to move out also. I also have a loan and credit card I am paying off with no problems with monthly payments on that front.

I don't know the most about the subject but what I do know is I lose my first time buyer, may have to potentially pay stamp duty(?) and I will be legally liable should anything happen down the line.

We had a discussion where she got heated and it felt like she was trying to gaslight me, mentioning I'm not helping out my mother, she's family and not some stranger etc. However for me, I unfortunately come first and don't want to take any risks that wouldn't have any benefit and I just generally don't feel comfortable with it.

Do the pros outweigh the cons, should I help out?

And you are her child, you are family and not some stranger - so she shouldn't be making your life difficult.

This would make your financial life more difficult in the future.  So do not do it.

Are you living with her rent-free and not contributing to household expenses?  If you are making a financial contribution then, when you move out, she would have less income and might find it harder to pay the mortgage company.  If you aren't paying anything, then your moving out could actually reduce her outgoings.

Does her "partner" contribute?  What if he left?

At the age of 25 you should be leaving home, cutting the apron strings.

Claddagh_Noir

Hi OP, 

Please do not be emotionally blackmailed by your mother, this is coming from someone who has had first hand experience with a family member and my partner has also. 

SOME people should stop thinking that their child(ren) are some sort of insurance policy they can cash in on years down the line because they didn't get their proverbial in order! 

How you described your mother's intentions involving you, it screams of mortgage fraud!   I have a feeling, mother dearest will not pay the mortgage and it will land on you as you will also be liable.  If you tap her for the monthly money because she claimed that she could afford it, she come out with the following spiel 'how can you ask your mother for money, I gave birth to do you, clothed you, kept a roof over your head... blah blah blah!'  That is why money and family do not mix. 

Someone posted earlier asking if you are living rent-free at home, if so, that could be the reason why she is 'emotionally blackmailing' you now.   She needs to make sure her and her partner's financial situation is whiter than white so that they are not rejected for a mortgage.  You have your own goals and ambitions at your time of life and fair play to you.  Do not let the likes of your mother ruin it for you because it will follow until the end of time! 

Another tip - when you do eventually fly the nest, and get on the property ladder, make sure there are several counties and cities between you and your mother!  I am sorry you are going through this.  This is really triggering because I despise when parents do things like this to their children.