Opinions please on my first steps I need to make with debt

[Deleted User]

Hello just looking for ideas where I go from here. 

Not done a SOA yet. I will at some point but at the moment just after your thoughts as I have no one to talk to.

Married age 49, husband aged 52 we have debts unsecured. £25k in my name and £25k his. 

Both work 40 hours a week. Employed.  No benefits except for Child benefit for 2 children and that’s due to end next couple of years. 

We are separated but living together as can’t afford to live separately. Have 3 children. 1 just over 18 and 2 just under 18. 

It’s got to the point now where we are short for bills  every month. We borrow from people each month and use the credit cards as soon as paid off our monthly amount. They are maxed out. We rent and have no assets or savings. We have a car on finance with 3 years left so cant sell that as not ours yet. 

DMP may be an option as we are starting to struggle badly now. But not sure if we should start one now as a joint dmp or wait because, firstly we’d have to start a new one when get own house each and secondly I’d not pass credit check to rent another house later if I start a dmp now and then try move, I don’t think?

The House we rent the landlord wants to sell next year. So we will have to move and rent then at the latest as can’t afford to buy. 

I don’t know where to go from here. I’m feeling helpless and miserable and can’t see a way to fix it. 

Do we 

1)Stay in same house and do a joint dmp? 

2)Try earn more a month without doing a dmp but we’d need to earn an extra £500 just to cover bills? 

Or

3)Both move out to live separately like we want to before get marks on credit file and so can still rent and then start a dmp each when moved out. As well as get to move on in our own life.

What are your thoughts please on what options I could take? It’s more the do I wait until in separate houses before doing anything I’m probably asking more than anything. 

My other concern is some of the loans are not high street places they are from Bamboo, MAL and Lendbles and I’ve heard lendable aren’t nice to deal with so worried I’ll get bailiffs or court order or worse do you get prison sentences? (I over think a lot) And couple are only few months old. 

Thank you for reading this far. 

Grumpelstiltskin

Firstly you have been reading too much Charles Dickens if you think you will be sent to prison.
No bailiffs either so forget all of that.

If you can't afford to pay your unsecured debts then stop paying them nothing terrible will happen.

We can't advise you about your marriage problems that is something you will have to decide yourselves. but it appears you can't carry on as you are.

[Deleted User]

Grumpelstiltskin said:

Firstly you have been reading too much Charles Dickens if you think you will be sent to prison.
No bailiffs either so forget all of that.

If you can't afford to pay your unsecured debts then stop paying them nothing terrible will happen.

We can't advise you about your marriage problems that is something you will have to decide yourselves. but it appears you can't carry on as you are.

Thank you. Yeah it was more should I stop paying now or wait until I can do a dmp for just me. Rather than asking for marriage advise but yeah I think just stop paying may be the best option rather than carry on as are. 

I just thought bailiffs came for any kind of debt if DCA sent them is that not the case? I don’t have secured loans or council tax debt etc. just loans and cards. The whole process is new to me and it’s only after reading on here I realise I have options and help now. I  am still learning it all. Very slowly lol so apologies if my questions seem silly. 

2021rdsunshine

Hi!
Regarding the renting, I’ve just rented recently with 3 defaults on my credit file. Not sure if all estate agents work the same way, but in my case they only done a soft search on credit file meaning that unless you have any form of insolvency (IVa, bankruptcy, DRO) defaults won’t matter.  It’s more a case of affordability, like they will want to know your income to check if you are able to pay the rent. 

As far as the debts are concerned you have to stop paying your unsecured debts if you can’t afford them. Nothing horrible will happen, you’ll get phone calls and letters to start with and that will go on for quite a few months until the creditors default you. They can assign the debts to debt collectors or sell it. After defaults applied, interest is frozen and you can  then start paying a reduced amount . That is if you want to do a DMP. Other debt solutions are available depending on your circumstances.  The thing is if you are sure your marriage has ended, you really need to come up with a plan going forward regarding all aspects of your life . 

[Deleted User]

2021rdsunshine said:

Hi!
Regarding the renting, I’ve just rented recently with 3 defaults on my credit file. Not sure if all estate agents work the same way, but in my case they only done a soft search on credit file meaning that unless you have any form of insolvency (IVa, bankruptcy, DRO) defaults won’t matter.  It’s more a case of affordability, like they will want to know your income to check if you are able to pay the rent. 

As far as the debts are concerned you have to stop paying your unsecured debts if you can’t afford them. Nothing horrible will happen, you’ll get phone calls and letters to start with and that will go on for quite a few months until the creditors default you. They can assign the debts to debt collectors or sell it. After defaults applied, interest is frozen and you can  then start paying a reduced amount . That is if you want to do a DMP. Other debt solutions are available depending on your circumstances.  The thing is if you are sure your marriage has ended, you really need to come up with a plan going forward regarding all aspects of your life . 

Thank you, That is good to hear regarding the renting. I don’t have any DRO or IVA so hopefully I’d be ok then. 

Yes I’d been reading on here about defaults are the best thing to get asap. So maybe that will have to be the option going forward as definitely can no longer afford to keep paying them all. I’d read so many horror stories before coming on to this site that I got a bit scared by it all when probably didnt need to. 

Thank you.  

2021rdsunshine

I get what you’re saying definitely but just remember you are just a reference number to the creditors. Read as much as you can on this forum, knowledge is your best friend. Every debt problem as a solution if you know how to handle it according to your circumstances. Robbing Peter to pay Paul is something I’ve done for quite a while until I started reading all the threads here and deciding that had to stop. 

[Deleted User]

2021rdsunshine said:

I get what you’re saying definitely but just remember you are just a reference number to the creditors. Read as much as you can on this forum, knowledge is your best friend. Every debt problem as a solution if you know how to handle it according to your circumstances. Robbing Peter to pay Paul is something I’ve done for quite a while until I started reading all the threads here and deciding that had to stop. 

Yes I’m working my way through the pinned DMP pinned threads and posts. It’s being really helpful. So much to read! I definitely need to stop this cycle too.  Time to get myself a plan of action!

2021rdsunshine

[Deleted User] said:

2021rdsunshine said:

I get what you’re saying definitely but just remember you are just a reference number to the creditors. Read as much as you can on this forum, knowledge is your best friend. Every debt problem as a solution if you know how to handle it according to your circumstances. Robbing Peter to pay Paul is something I’ve done for quite a while until I started reading all the threads here and deciding that had to stop. 

Yes I’m working my way through the pinned DMP pinned threads and posts. It’s being really helpful. So much to read! I definitely need to stop this cycle too.  Time to get myself a plan of action!

Definitely! Wish you very good luck!

Btw I also have Bamboo as a creditor. Stopped paying last November, they defaulted in June. Haven’t heard from them yet since defaulted. 

[Deleted User]

2021rdsunshine said:

[Deleted User] said:

2021rdsunshine said:

I get what you’re saying definitely but just remember you are just a reference number to the creditors. Read as much as you can on this forum, knowledge is your best friend. Every debt problem as a solution if you know how to handle it according to your circumstances. Robbing Peter to pay Paul is something I’ve done for quite a while until I started reading all the threads here and deciding that had to stop. 

Yes I’m working my way through the pinned DMP pinned threads and posts. It’s being really helpful. So much to read! I definitely need to stop this cycle too.  Time to get myself a plan of action!

Definitely! Wish you very good luck!

Btw I also have Bamboo as a creditor. Stopped paying last November, they defaulted in June. Haven’t heard from them yet since defaulted. 

Thats great to hear! Thankyou

RAS

Do you have any joint accounts with hubbie? If so you need to separate your financial accounts so that your action doesn't affect his credit record and vice versa.

And 2021rdsunshine pointed out, estate agents and landlords can only check your records to the extent that you allow. In practice that usually means the public registers of insolvency and CCJs. 

Do bear in mind that novice adults are very vulnerable as newbies. You and hubbie need to talk to them about future arrangements. You collectively don't want either or both parents making decisions on things like housing without understanding what the youngsters want, realistically. Which might not be a secure home in both parent's new homes, but if things remain amicable, the possibility of stopping over or swapping rooms with another sibling. And they are dang expensive because you can't claim any help for them but the system assumes they will remain dependant on their parents. 

Rob5342

An SOA is a good starting point. It can feel very frightening when you are in debt but there is always a solution and thousands and thousands of people get themselves out of it. I got into £42,000 of debt and spent years trying every trick I could to meet the minimum payments as I was terrified of the consequencea. I convinced myself that this was just a bad year and id be able yo get some paid off next yesr, but that just repeated every year and things just got worse. I eventually started a dmp and yhat turned things round immediately as I had money to live on again. I gradually built up the confidence to look at different ways of tackling it. Three years later I am down to £1800 of enforceable debt, achieved through a combination of paying debts off, refunds from affordability complaints and creditors being unable to supply the cca. I have four defaults on my credit record but these will start dropping off next year as i had one backdated as part of an unaffordabiilty complaint.

Remember that DMPs are informal arrangements with no set rules and you can change them at any time. if you run one yourself then it's simply a case of telling the creditors what you'll be paying them each month and making that payment, there is no need yo give them any other information. You could each start your owm now and then just adjust the payments when you get your own houses. When my wife stopped working I just said yhst due to a change in circumstances I'd be reducing my payments and that was that.