Old Style Daily Sat 3rd August 2024

mehefin

Morning all from Mehefinland
Can't sleep - now there's a surprise. Keep thinking I should have seen something. Why didn't I get her to the doc's sooner and so on . Round and round in my head. Then the rational side tells me to grow up and get on with things.
DS and Toxic are coming tomorrow with their 2 dogs so that should help. I must be fair, even though I am not fond of he woman, she has been a great source of comfort for him. I may have to revise my opinion!!
Just done an online Wait*** order to arrive tomorrow. Can't face physical shopping at the moment.

Spoke with the bereavement team at the hospital yesterday. After the initial authentication that it was me , the next question was, 'burial or cremation?' Me: 'don't know'. 'Funeral director' me: don't know. 'can't take this any further until we have this information. What!!!
To be fair he did explain the procedure in some detail and about the way it now works. Very different from when my parents passed away.
So, some searching and difficult conversations coming up with DS.
Mrs M had always said she wanted to be buried next to her Mum, until relatively recently when she was leaning more towards cremation after seeing the proliferation of TV adverts. However she never finally decided. I implore any reader who has not had that difficult conversation with their loved ones to do so.

mehefin

OOps, pressed wrong button.
Now I do not particularly believe in the supernatural BUT at the approximate time that Mrs M departed this world the video doorbell of my good friend and neighbour went off, but there was nobody there. They forwarded me a copy of the video footage to prove it to me. It is quite evident there is nobody mucking about, or anyone even in sight. It has freaked them out a bit, particularly as they didnt know at that point that I was urgently trying to get back to the hospital.

It is probably some strange querk or coincidence but it does make you wonder.
Right, need to go to see to the nags so as is customary I will wish you all well with the requisite hugs and spoons

Thank you all for your good wishes and kind words. They are a comfort
Mehefin

Gers

Good morning.

@Mehefin - please rest easy, there is nothing you or anyone else could have done. The type of cancer your beloved Dawn had is very aggressive, rarely discovered until almost too late and very difficult to survive. What you did do was to love her, care for her and make her happy for as long as you could. 💕 As for the aftermath, since my late DMum died in 2021 I'm almost evangelical about preparing for death and regularly harp on about planning death with my friends and family. My late brother died unexpectedly leaving a legal mess behind. My Mum and I had the 'what next' talk so I knew what she wanted. As for me, I have made my Will, sorted out POA and even set up an Advanced Directive. That generated a very interesting conversation with my GP who said that he wished that everyone did it. Eventually you'll do what's right for Dawn and yourself. I'm sending you much love. 

Yesterday I had a very grey and wet drive down the peninsula for a hair cut and colour. I mistimed my journey by five minutes which meant that I came across the traffic coming off the Arran ferry. Most were camper vans, happily there are loads of passing places to pull into each time. Next time I'll leave earlier or later! On the way home I collected my repaired hearing aid from the local hospital, had some food and watched some of the Ganes. Loved the mini basketball (official name is 3x3 basketball). 

As for today I have a large bag of recycling to take away. It normally goes every Monday when at my exercise class but the leader has been on holiday for three weeks, not back until 12 August and I can't wait any longer. Then, maybe some more Ganes! 

Floss

@mehefin hopefully you & your DS can agree on the decision and begin to make plans. It is a difficult time, especially when it has come so out of the blue like this. But you have your animals who need their routine and I'm sure that will help. How is Scooby?

ScarletRibbons

Good morning, it's sunny here.

Mehefin, I didn't realise hospitals had bereavement teams, though the last time I arranged a funeral was for my dad almost 27 years ago.

I think it's inevitable that you're on the merry go round of should have  done this, that, or whatever - you've had the worst shock, and naturally aren't thinking straight. When your ds arrives you can talk things through I hope.

The routine of looking after the animals will be a comfort I hope - I'm not minimising your shock and distress in any way, please don't think that, but sometimes routine helps.

Strange about the neighbours doorbell, it certainly does make you wonder.

Keep posting if you can Mehefin, all your virtual friends here want to support you. Xx

AlwaysAllie

Morning all

mehefin - don’t be rushed into any decisions, hopefully you and DS can work things out to please everyone and honour Dawn’s memory. Do take care. 

Woke to rain here which was unexpected and will put paid to my outside job plans.  Good job there are plenty of indoor ones too !

Took DDad for his clips out - possibly a slight infection so he’s on antibiotics now, plus some other concerns so they did bloods for a PSA test - suffice to say it wasn’t the best afternoon/evening.  However today is another day and many are dealing with much worse.  

Have a great weekend
AA

TravellingAbuela

Morning folks,  especially Mehefin. It's difficult enough coping with all that is to be organised after the death of a loved one but more so when the death is a sudden one. Hopefully when DS arrives you will not feel so alone in your grief. My DD and DS were a great support when I lost my lovely Bob. Fortunately  we had discussed all his funeral wishes when we knew the end was coming. Much love to you.

My last day at the caravan today and I couldn't have booked better weather. Every day glorious, sadly the heat at night made sleeping difficult! DS is coming up to transport me home tomorrow. DD and the girls are coming next week and hoping for similar weather. They have summer school at dance this coming week, plus 2 of DGDs birthdays. Everything comes at once.

I had a traumatic evening last night when a thrush flew in through the open door. Aaargh. It was going crazy trying to get out, crashing into windows etc and leaving much mess in its wake. I eventually got it cornered behind the TV (next to the open door) and managed to get it back out. I was frazzled! 

Have a nice day all and (HUGS) for all in need. Thoughts especially with MEHEFIN at such a difficult time. Xx

Florenceem

Morning all.
mehefin - So shocked and sorry to hear your news. 
Dp1 - poor little one - how is she today?
I have been awol - life took over - been very busy with my ministry at SA.
No diagnosis for Mr F yet - had a blood test last week - stool test and xray this week.

snoozer

Mehefin, it is possible to fulfil both of Dawn's wishes, as an ex-Town Clerk I was responsible for the cemetery and caskets of ashes were often placed in relative's graves. 

It's understandable that your thoughts are all over the place but please don't blame yourself. As to the supernatural, we had a similar strange happening when my father-in-law died. His wedding gift to Steve's mum was a locket which she'd worn for the whole of their marriage, on the night he died the chain broke.

snoozer

We had another busy day yesterday, Laura had been invited to shadow an important male fertility doctor (she's hoping to concentrate on helping couples in her acupuncture) so we had the children. We took them to a soft play centre in the morning and went shopping in the afternoon so the time went quickly.

Today they're going to visit friends in London so we are going to tackle the dumping ground that the study has become. I also want to do some cooking if it doesn't get too hot.

Hugs to all the poorly and sad people and their relatives.

camelot1001

Morning All

Mehefin, Take your time to make decisions, discussing everything with your DS should help you. Sending my love to you all.

It's been a busy few days here, DS and family arrived on Wednesday and I had the little one too, much fun was had with the paddling pool - it's not often we have the weather for it. The little one didn't want to stay so she went home and the others stayed until Thursday afternoon. Little one and I went to the library to make a paper frog and came back here for haircuts.
Yesterday was digging at the new allotment until it rained (and I needed the loo - there isn't a toilet there yet). I was quite happy to watch more of the olympics yesterday, don't think I've ever enjoyed it so much.

The children's bedding is on the line but it's not looking too promising out today and it's much cooler. I'll do a bit at both allotments this morning, the decorator is coming about 2pm and then I'll hot foot it to Glasgow to meet up with some work colleagues.

Glad you've had good weather TA, makes all the difference.

Have a good weekend if you can. Take care. XX