OS Daily Thursday 1st August

snoozer

Hi everyone,

I have the utmost respect for anyone who has a carers role. I loved too far from my parents to do this and in fact apart from a few times when they needed extra help and I was able to take time off work they didn't need carers. I remember my grandma living with us though and further back my granddad when mum had 3 under 5s as well, it must have been so hard.

Esther has gone to nursery and Laura is taking Esben to an outdoor pool so I shall potter in the kitchen while it is cool. I've already made a batch of savoury flapjacks, half of which Steve has taken over for Nate, he's carrying on with painting the stables today.

Safe travels dp1, I hope little one continues her recovery steadily.

I'm still keeping you and Mrs M in my thoughts Mehefin, big hugs to you.

Hugs also to Allie and her dad, Ruby and her mil, Nanny and her dad and whoever is caring for her friend ATM (sorry, I've forgotten who it is). Also anyone else I've missed, there seems to be a lot.

Have a good day.

nannywindow

Morning all, we must have had rain last night as the patio was wet this morning. The sun is out now and it's hot again. My Dad wasn't very well last night but refuses to have the GP, it's so frustrating when you try to help but are met with resistance at every turn. AA  there's only me as well, but thankfully I do have Mr Fix It and DD for back up or rant at. 
DGS is coming up today to help with our garden and has requested a roast dinner, so I have a chicken ready to cook for later, I'll be melting in the kitchen today. He's also invited himself for a sleep over on Sunday and not to be outdone DGD will come the week after, sadly they no longer bother much with their other grandparents.
Tomorrow I have an early morning appointment at the cancer clinic so I'll be up at the crack of dawn just to get there on time.
Take care all, hugs for everyone. Hope all the travellers get to their destination safely and all those with appointments have a good outcome.
nan xx

AlwaysAllie

Gers said:

AlwaysAllie said:

 

Thanks for all the good wishes for DDad’s knee - a much better day yesterday! Taff - thanks, I hadn’t really considered myself a carer of any type, however I can see it’s going that way and it’s hard! I don’t have any siblings and no other relatives (neither DDad or DMum have siblings either) so it can be quite lonely and isolating.  

I was in the very same position with my now late DMum - I cared for her for over three years, including during lockdowns. I visited her one day in 2018 and didn't get back home until she died in May 2021.  It was extremely isolating and lonely although also a great privilege.  Despite the tough times I am so glad that I was able to look after her.  There was no help for carers at the time, I once asked Social Services for a respite break and was told it would take eight weeks to process but they were short staffed so I probably wouldn't get it! 

Bear in mind that you are caring for your DDad as he cared for you as a child (I hope!). Love goes both ways.  One day you will look back and be grateful - honestly!

I should clarify, I don’t mind whatever they need me to do, and am very aware that they’ve done far more for me than I’ll ever do for them - just recognising the fact, as you have, and others, that it’s hard! 

Thank goodness for modern technology as my closest friends don’t live locally either so at least I can keep in touch and rant with them 😄😄

Local friends have had thunder storms but nothing here as yet.  

Stay cool and dry everyone, and thanks again for all your thoughts and suggestions which are always appreciated 
AA

Floss

Allie, check your local council for carers resources & groups, also maybe consider your parents employers as some have social funds which will pay out for respite care / break for the carer.

AlwaysAllie

Floss said:

Allie, check your local council for carers resources & groups, also maybe consider your parents employers as some have social funds which will pay out for respite care / break for the carer.

Thanks - we're not anywhere near me needing respite yet but this is useful information to store in case needed, especially the ex-employers which I hadn't considered.
AA

mehefin

Good evening all from Mehefinland
I'm afraid today did not go well. A 3am text from a very agitated Mrs M which was pretty garbled. I replied and got her to ring me. It stems from the fact that her bladder was full but she was resisting having a catheter. I eventually calmed her down and encouraged her to try to use the commode. After speaking to the nursing staff this seemed to work.
Then, this morning when I went to the horses, poor Scooby had colic. A bit of a panic as Mrs M's endescopy was supposed to be at 9am and I couldn't be in 2 places at once obviously.  Anyway, got the vet organised who had seen her last time this occured and remembered her. Rang my lovely neighbour for some moral support. Bless her, she was in the shower, and legged it up the road to me in record time. In the meantime I had a text to say the examination had been put back to 11am.  So vet came, sorted mare and I was sent of to the horsepital leaving the nags in the capable hands of my lovely friend. Not only that but she went back several times to check on them, mucked out, and brought them back in and fed them at teatime. She is a star and I would be in deep doodoo without her help.

Which brings me back to Mrs M.
After hanging about all morning, with her in considerable discomfort, we were eventually taken to the unit at approx 1pm for the camera, biopsy and a feed tube fitting. Nearly 2 hrs later she came out- no tube! When I asked her why, she said she had asked them but they didn't answer.
Back on the ward a little later the doc appeared with the bad news. The tumour is so large and advanced they can do nothing for her other than make her comfortable. They cannot put a stent in as the think the tumour is too big and there is a danger that it will collapse the stent, or be a deadend. Likewise they cannot put a feeding tube in as originaaly planned. Tomorrow they hope to use a isotope marker and take a further scan to try to ascertain exactly how big the tumour is in her oesopahagus. Mrs M is obviously upset, but in so much pain and discomfort I think she has become resigned to her fate. The prognosis is not good, and palliative care has been muted. They also indicated that she may be able to come home in the next few days!  I can't see that happening currently, and quite frankly I couldn't cope with her in this state plus the animals.
DS is coming home Saturday morning- I just hope he makes it in time, as I am convinced that the clock is well advanced in the ticking mode.
I apologise for giving such a tale of woe, but I know you will forgive me. Writing it all down has been a coping mechanism for me, and my voice is currently very sore after relaying the tale multiple times to well wishers.
Hugs and spoons as always
Mehefin

AlwaysAllie

mehefin said:

Good evening all from Mehefinland
I'm afraid today did not go well. A 3am text from a very agitated Mrs M which was pretty garbled. I replied and got her to ring me. It stems from the fact that her bladder was full but she was resisting having a catheter. I eventually calmed her down and encouraged her to try to use the commode. After speaking to the nursing staff this seemed to work.
Then, this morning when I went to the horses, poor Scooby had colic. A bit of a panic as Mrs M's endescopy was supposed to be at 9am and I couldn't be in 2 places at once obviously.  Anyway, got the vet organised who had seen her last time this occured and remembered her. Rang my lovely neighbour for some moral support. Bless her, she was in the shower, and legged it up the road to me in record time. In the meantime I had a text to say the examination had been put back to 11am.  So vet came, sorted mare and I was sent of to the horsepital leaving the nags in the capable hands of my lovely friend. Not only that but she went back several times to check on them, mucked out, and brought them back in and fed them at teatime. She is a star and I would be in deep doodoo without her help.

Which brings me back to Mrs M.
After hanging about all morning, with her in considerable discomfort, we were eventually taken to the unit at approx 1pm for the camera, biopsy and a feed tube fitting. Nearly 2 hrs later she came out- no tube! When I asked her why, she said she had asked them but they didn't answer.
Back on the ward a little later the doc appeared with the bad news. The tumour is so large and advanced they can do nothing for her other than make her comfortable. They cannot put a stent in as the think the tumour is too big and there is a danger that it will collapse the stent, or be a deadend. Likewise they cannot put a feeding tube in as originaaly planned. Tomorrow they hope to use a isotope marker and take a further scan to try to ascertain exactly how big the tumour is in her oesopahagus. Mrs M is obviously upset, but in so much pain and discomfort I think she has become resigned to her fate. The prognosis is not good, and palliative care has been muted. They also indicated that she may be able to come home in the next few days!  I can't see that happening currently, and quite frankly I couldn't cope with her in this state plus the animals.
DS is coming home Saturday morning- I just hope he makes it in time, as I am convinced that the clock is well advanced in the ticking mode.
I apologise for giving such a tale of woe, but I know you will forgive me. Writing it all down has been a coping mechanism for me, and my voice is currently very sore after relaying the tale multiple times to well wishers.
Hugs and spoons as always
Mehefin

There’s nothing to forgive you for Mehefin - if this outlet helps you, as it does so many, then please post as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. Best wishes to you both at this awful time - do look after yourself and let friends help when they can. 

AA

AlwaysAllie

mehefin said:

Good evening all from Mehefinland
I'm afraid today did not go well. A 3am text from a very agitated Mrs M which was pretty garbled. I replied and got her to ring me. It stems from the fact that her bladder was full but she was resisting having a catheter. I eventually calmed her down and encouraged her to try to use the commode. After speaking to the nursing staff this seemed to work.
Then, this morning when I went to the horses, poor Scooby had colic. A bit of a panic as Mrs M's endescopy was supposed to be at 9am and I couldn't be in 2 places at once obviously.  Anyway, got the vet organised who had seen her last time this occured and remembered her. Rang my lovely neighbour for some moral support. Bless her, she was in the shower, and legged it up the road to me in record time. In the meantime I had a text to say the examination had been put back to 11am.  So vet came, sorted mare and I was sent of to the horsepital leaving the nags in the capable hands of my lovely friend. Not only that but she went back several times to check on them, mucked out, and brought them back in and fed them at teatime. She is a star and I would be in deep doodoo without her help.

Which brings me back to Mrs M.
After hanging about all morning, with her in considerable discomfort, we were eventually taken to the unit at approx 1pm for the camera, biopsy and a feed tube fitting. Nearly 2 hrs later she came out- no tube! When I asked her why, she said she had asked them but they didn't answer.
Back on the ward a little later the doc appeared with the bad news. The tumour is so large and advanced they can do nothing for her other than make her comfortable. They cannot put a stent in as the think the tumour is too big and there is a danger that it will collapse the stent, or be a deadend. Likewise they cannot put a feeding tube in as originaaly planned. Tomorrow they hope to use a isotope marker and take a further scan to try to ascertain exactly how big the tumour is in her oesopahagus. Mrs M is obviously upset, but in so much pain and discomfort I think she has become resigned to her fate. The prognosis is not good, and palliative care has been muted. They also indicated that she may be able to come home in the next few days!  I can't see that happening currently, and quite frankly I couldn't cope with her in this state plus the animals.
DS is coming home Saturday morning- I just hope he makes it in time, as I am convinced that the clock is well advanced in the ticking mode.
I apologise for giving such a tale of woe, but I know you will forgive me. Writing it all down has been a coping mechanism for me, and my voice is currently very sore after relaying the tale multiple times to well wishers.
Hugs and spoons as always
Mehefin

There’s nothing to forgive you for Mehefin - if this outlet helps you, as it does so many, then please post as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. Best wishes to you both at this awful time - do look after yourself and let friends help when they can. 

AA

mehefin

UPDATE
Got a call from the horsepital that Mrs M was unresponsive. I legged it as fast I could but arrived 5 minutes too late. She passed away peacefully after so much pain at 11.15 approx. Who would think something only diagnosed at the beginning of the week could have such finality in such a short time. RIP my darling Dawn. 44 years together gone in a flash.
Mehefin

weenancyinAmerica

@mehefin - so sorry to hear about your wife. Let us know how things are going with you and keep posting. This website does help people cope sometimes and we want to be there for you. Many prayers and hugs.