Stopping the backsliding… a family of four no longer living beyond their means

Bluegreen143

It’s a relevant question on an MSE diary! 

And… not really. My husband has asked him for £25 per week towards food. And tbh it’s costing well more than £25 extra just on food (never mind him doing washings and the like). However our priority currently is to get BIL back on his feet again, health-wise and financially. He’s got some money coming to him from his late partner’s estate, and hopes to buy a small flat then. We want him to be in good shape to be able to do so, so that he eventually stops living with us 😆.

KajiKita

Fair enough. Is he contributing in other ways - reading stories to the children, helping with chores etc.?

KK

Bluegreen143

Yes, he’s pitching in with tidying up, dishes and anything we ask for and put up the Christmas lights in the kids’ rooms today. Red also gets him to take rubbish and recycling to the tip at weekends because having an extra person here is making extra rubbish. And he’s been enjoying getting the chance to play with the kids, get to know them better. 

I don’t hand off reading stories to anyone though, that made me laugh 🤣. Reading to my kids is by far my favourite parenting activity so it’s all mine! 

It’s not really ideal having an extra person here as we don’t have a spare room so he’s living in our conservatory (meaning we can’t really use it just now and also that unavoidably there is his stuff hanging about there). 

But we always want to model to the kids that we’re there for family and friends who need us, that’s a value of ours. We’ve had several other relatives and friends move in temporarily or stay over lots or over for weekly dinners for months on end etc when they’ve needed support. BIL has lived with us twice before. It’s all good. 

KajiKita

I can imagine the intrusion but I also respect and honour your generosity of heart in supporting him at such a hard time. Glad he’s pitching in where he can 😊

KK

beanielou

Good to hear from you. 

beanielou

Such lovely values to teach your kids. 

Baileys_Babe

Lovely to hear from you @Bluegreen143 It sounds like the last few months have been very busy but lots of great memories being made.

Does Bambi go to Scouts, guessing Beavers really for her age as well as Rainbows? My daughter did both when she was younger but left Guiding at 14, she has continued going with Scouting and is going to Denmark with them next year.

I'm guessing having BIL living with you can and will cause issues at times, but it is good you and Red felt able to support him in such a way, as well as the children seeing you living by your values. We too have opened up our home in the past to various family and friends, for variety of reasons and varying lengths of time and frequency.

Bluegreen143

She just does Rainbows (and gymnastics as well). We are capping them to two clubs each at a time for sanity! 

She has expressed an interest in Beavers purely because her (male) nursery friend does that, and of course she’s seen her brother go through Scouts. 

But the group her friend attends frankly isn’t very good and they really don’t do much there - it’s where Monkey went to Beavers and I wish I’d moved him sooner. I would want to get her into the group aligned to his new Cub pack instead, which is really excellent. But I don’t think she wants to go really, just wants to see her friend! 

She’s also quite a “girly”/crafty girl and I’ve been really impressed by her Rainbows group, they do a lot which aligns with her interests. When Monkey was at Beavers literally all they did was dodgeball every single week and she’s just not really into that sort of rougher play. I do think she’d love the camping etc he’s gotten to do in Cubs so I’m not ruling it out in the future! 

Bluegreen143

Hi everyone

Well, right now I’m feeling a bit knackered and it’s very hard to get up in the mornings in the cold and dark.

Trying to change my routine so I’m in bed a bit earlier. Even if I read for a bit, I always put the light out earlier if I’m reading in bed instead of on the sofa. 

Normally I have the office on Tuesday but I’ve been told I can WFH today as my colleagues are all out at different sites. So at least I don’t need to commute.

Today I will pick the kids up direct at school instead of using the bus as Bambi has gymnastics near school at 4pm. 

Monkey and I often play badminton in this time at the same sports centre, but coffers are running low and as it’s £13 to book the court, and given we did it last week, I’m going to give it a miss this week. 

We can do homework and play cards in the cafe instead (for free. The cafe is enormous and usually half empty, and they force you to stay there during the class as you’re not allowed to drop off and go, so I don’t feel bad not buying anything). 

Got a humunguous list of things to do for kids’ birthdays/parties and Christmas. Today’s plan (as well as work, the usual daily chores, school runs and making soup for dinner):

1. Finish off laundry from yesterday and put away.

2. Finish sewing something for Red - we are getting guinea pigs for the kids’ birthdays (they have earned them by caring for the chickens reliably) and I’m hemmed some lining stuff for their enclosure.

3. Cut out the fabric for both the kids’ Christmas PJs.

4. Text my sister to ask to borrow her mixer for making the kids’ birthday cakes (I’m currently also borrowing her sewing machine so hope she doesn’t mind 🤣).

5. Red is checking with his mum when he visits today whether she wants him to get the hotel booked for our Easter break together as we’ve priced it up. If so, get that booked (she is paying, but not so savvy with booking things online etc so we’ll get it organised).

6. Pester Red to find out what he wants for Christmas! 

I think that’s probably enough for one day!

Planned meals:

B: porridge, brown sugar, fruit

L: hot smoked salmon & a big salad 

lentil & ham soup

Probably some fruit for snacks, and I’ll have lots of syns to play with so may well add to this with some cheese or a small treat if I’m hungry. 

Four_Seasons

Now it feels like Christmas is coming you are making the childrens Pjs 😊xx