Stopping the backsliding… a family of four no longer living beyond their means

Baileys_Babe

Bluegreen143 said:

Baileys_Babe - we need quite a roomy car as my husband is 6ft 4 and we are hoping to keep it for years - with my eldest being 9.5 we need leg room for teenagers even with the driver’s seat right back! 

I'm glad you are thinking long term.

Also when you go camping you might be able to fit everything in the car, we now have to take the roof box as we now have 2 adult sized children 😏

We like the Skoda Octavia, friends have had Skoda's for years without problems. 

weenancyinAmerica

I don't know if it is available there, but my father bought me a car from a rental company. They keep them up very well and only keep them usually up to about 40,000 miles or less. He actually paid cash for the car in two payments. It was a year old and I have driven it for 21 years, it now has over 188,000 miles on it. It is about to give up now. But it is still going. 

Bluegreen143

Had a further chat with Red. He is agreed not to put any more vast sums into the car, but to my surprise wants to keep it a while longer (if it is cheaply fixable) and adjust our budget so we are living without the amount we'd be paying in a car loan for a while, putting that into savings (which would obviously allow us to save more and so borrow less as well as test out how tight the budget is). He even said let's pause the kitchen savings and divert what we have already saved into a new car pot. If anything else goes wrong with the car we will get rid. And we will replace it within a year anyway I think.

We have agreed we will mostly likely get a Skoda Octavia (there are a couple of other contenders too) and we will weigh up the difference versus 'nearly new', 1yo, 3yo and make a decision (but will not get anything older than that). 

I so often tell myself the story that he isn't great with money and that if I wasn't there, he'd make large and impulsive decisions that this was the last thing I expected him to say! But the truth is, he is bad at frittering but very sensible with big decisions, I just don't always realise it. I think what has helped is that rather than fight my own corner and push him into an opposing side, I told him he knew more about cars than me so I'd go with his decision but XYZ are the things which are important to me. Without getting his opinions polarised by someone fighting back, he's gone away, thought about it, and gone into a cold sweat on his own about borrowing £20k.

Of course it depends on what the mechanic says today as to whether we get the car fixed, as we are not going to spend much on it. He'll call up with a quote before doing the work.

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Yesterday was a very 'go go go' and highly social sort of day. Taxi to work, stopping at school first. Very busy day of mainly back-to-back meetings. I had to wear my high vis coat as needed it for one work activity, but without having the car had no way to swap jackets so had to wear it all day. I had soooooo many comments about it after work, it was really funny. My 9yo reckoned I looked embarrassing!

After work I got a taxi back to the kids' school (nearly £30 in taxis for the day - the taxis are unfortunately necessary, there is no way to get to school from my office on time on public transport). Picked up kids. Another mum, whose daughter also does gymnastics, kindly offered to drive Bambi and all our bags to gymnastics so Monkey and I could stay in the park longer then have a leisurely walk down. By this point approximately at least six mums I know had commented on my high vis! Had a good chat with a couple of them about the car woes and was comforted to hear one of them has had a similar scenario.

Got to the gymnastics hall, had a cake with Monkey (£5) and did a little of his reading homework with him, but one of my good friends happened to be in the cafe (I found out her daughter had just signed up for gymnastics that day) so I spent most of the time having a gab to her. Also saw my two friends whose kids are in the next gymnastics session after mine, so that was another two people to comment on my high vis and commiserate about my car.

Unfortunately I spent too long gabbing with one of those mums (I don't see her that often outwith this time as her kids go to a different school) - I mistakenly thought I had ages to get to the bus, not having checked the time, and after we spent 10 mins walking to the stop I discovered we'd just missed it by 3 minutes - so annoying as they are only every 30-35 minutes! And totally my fault for chatting too long!

Called Red to let him know, and he said he'd actually come down and get me in the car (it's OK to drive as the issue is the handbrake - the reason I didn't take it to work was in case I couldn't get the handbrake either on or off once I was there). Remembered we had a portion of burrito filling in the freezer which was just as well as it was 5.50pm when we got home and Red went straight out to drop the car at the garage. 

Made very tasty burritos, did kitchen/put laundry in dryer, tidied up, helped with kids' homework, read to them, collapsed on sofa. Booked the kids into school lunches today as no energy to sort out packed lunches (they are both still young enough for free school meals, so no cost for this). Red and I spent the evening sorting out childhood photos from the loft into albums which I found strangely exhausting in itself!

Thankfully today I'm working from home, as I've been excused from the office due to not having a car - another super busy work day ahead though. Going to make a big batch of pasta for dinner tonight and then use the leftovers for school lunches. I'd also like to make a batch of flapjack tonight - hopefully I'll have the time/energy.

zcrat41

Good to have you back, I’ve missed your updates! I spent the back end of last year sorting my childhood pictures. I now have some plastic cases from Amazon and they are all organised and labelled into years. I do the same with family photos now, print off the best every six months and store. Some get taken out to display but it’s easy to change them and put them back where they belong now. This organised little cupboard has given me much joy!!!! 

sorry to hear about the car woes. Red’s suggestion of living without a car payment for a bit sounds fab. 

Baileys_Babe

You and Red having similar thoughts about purchasing the new car will make it easier to save and make decisions going forward.

TallGirl

Glad you agree on a way forward does sound like a total faff not having a car and expensive too. Fab if you can get some lifts until the car situation is sorted. My Octavia is an estate it is great spacewise we get all our golf gear in there and still have the back seat spare so would be ideal for camping. Ours is a 900 petrol and it goes really nicely and is not sluggish but is fine for Ulex etc so that is also good. I need to sell it later this year and buy a new one as we are moving countries otherwise I really would have kept it. 

Spendless

My husband is similar to Red and then  because he fritters, it means Im less inclined to listen to his big ideas which are sensible.

Our 'decision' was over the way to pay back pur debt. We had savings, DH wanted to use them to pay it off and then pay back to savings avoiding interest.

I didn't because I didnt trust it would get paid back as I said the savings had been used as a cash machine for ages (frittered).

We were stalemate for an hour, till a compromise was suggested in a 0% BT CC. The small amt we werent offerred to the limit did come from savings. All was then paid back in full without interest charges, satisfying both our requests. We even made money along the way by paying the minimum and putting the monthly balance required into higher savings accounts. 

Fingers crossed car repair isnt too much and then you can put your plan into action.

Bluegreen143

Car will cost £140 and we will get it back tomorrow, so it would have been silly not to get it repaired. Onto the new budget, where we will be putting £400 a month in our New Car pot.

Busy day at work, but nice to be WFH - walked both school runs, due to the car being at the garage, and took the kids to the further away playpark next to their old nursery (as it's near their school bus stop), so we got plenty of fresh air and steps in. No homework achieved, but both the kids helped me make dinner - I let Bambi use the real paring knife for the first time, so she was very proud - and I finished reading their current Famous Five book to them, so plenty of educational value even if we didn't do actual homework.

Made a tomato chicken pasta for dinner - I did a big vat of the tomato sauce and pasta, so the kids are having the leftovers for their next two packed lunches.

Just about to do the Tesco shop online, so will be mindful of not being too extravagant given our new savings goals...

In other MSE news, Bambi's free bus pass arrived today, so I'll be able to take both the kids on the bus now and only pay for myself.

Bluegreen143

Tesco shopping coming today - total cost £71.66.

Fruit & veg £15.28 - mango, bananas, strawberries, avocado, garlic, ginger, red onion, mushrooms, green beans, cherry tomatoes, broccoli, peppers, limes, courgette.

Protein/dairy £27.88 - chicken breast, chicken thighs, milk, cheddar, steak, bacon, soured cream

Bread £2.75 - sourdough bread and white sliced

Storecupboard £19 - black beans, cornflour, dried cherries, white wine vinegar, long grain rice, raspberry jam, extra virgin olive oil, canned chicken stock, 

Treats/junk £6.05 - sharing crisps, dark chocolate, decaf cola

Household £2.10 - kitchen roll, shower gel

A little more expensive than I'd like (it's just to do us until Sunday) but I had to get food to take away camping - we are sharing with friends so wanted to do something nice.

Mealplan

F - chicken satay, rice, green veg

S - camping food - I'm doing salsa pulled chicken, salad (from the garden) and will bake some flapjack and muffins - other friends are bringing chilli, wraps, cheese etc

- Red's dinner - he wanted a steak since he's staying home and not coming camping We are sharing our tent with friends so there isn't actually room for him, but I'm sure he's not devastated about not going camping in the rain with a bunch of kids!

Su - tomato chicken stew

debtfreewannabe321

I ended up spending £74 yesterday on a shop until Sunday too. Things are so expensive that quick cheap shops seem to be a thing  of the past!