Boundary drama: Neighbour trying to scare birds out my garden? With disco mirrors!?

Skiddaw1

Aren't people strange. I actively encourage plants such as clover to grow in our lawn (I'm really chuffed to report that we have clover, eye-bright, heartsease and cowslips in ours ).

Ah well- each to his own I suppose...

Exodi

This is my absolute worse nightmare.

The only thing I know is I wouldn't do anything in retaliation, as much as our impulses may want us to, as this usually leads to escalation and next thing you know you both have CCTV on all corners of your house, your parking your cars across each others driveways and your bins are being knocked over every bin day (until it eventually leads to vandalism and violence).

The only thing you can do is ignore it and hope it stops or report it and deal with the fall out from that.

subjecttocontract

I can't see how or why those additions would scare birds away. My experience is that they get used to most things in a couple of weeks especially where plenty of easy food is involved. Just ignore the neighbours sillyness and get on with your life.

BarelySentientAI

silvercar said:

BarelySentientAI said:

Sapindus said:

If they thought the disco mirrors would deter the birds, why didn't they direct them at their own lawn??  

Because the theory is they deter birds from approaching the unusual objecr.  On that basis, pointing them at their own lawn would encourage the birds to stay.

Would any of the posters who were calling this obvious bullying and recommending immediate police attendance like to row back their opinions now that it's been discovered to be a massive overreaction and misunderstanding?

Then logically, you put them in the centre of your own lawn in a circle facing outwards to create a ‘no fly zone’.

Or you put them between where you know the birds are likely to be and where you don't want them to come to.  A "front line" of sorts.

actually_a_llama

ThisIsWeird said:

the_lunatic_is_in_my_head said:

ThisIsWeird said: or 'pretend' it doesn't bother you. 

I don't think pretending it doesn't bother you helps because such things fester and then the frustration can be released in a way that isn't pragmatic. 

If it's possible to actually let something not bother you that would be best but obviously easier said than done  

Ah, sorry, my comment was easy to misinterpret. I agree with you - if the situation justifiably annoys you, then don't pretend to the miscreant, or anyone concerned, that it doesn't. 
Only say it doesn't bother you, if it's true :-)

I think this time the neighbour's antics are so leftfield/odd this time there's been an element of disbelief that makes it easier not to get wound up. But it has 'festered' fairly chronically in the past and led me to get help. I also learned gums don't regrow if you brush teeth too hard from stress...

We did try to be nice to this neighbour when they moved in but now we just have no contact with them and avoid them. Any sort of reaction on my part just upsets me.

I think as long as nothing escalates beyond this... I'm more or less perfectly fine making peace with ignoring it (touch wood). If it's part of a wider plan to stop us feeding birds then it'd be really depressing to just have a garden I only want to do basic maintenance on (e.g. mow + weed, leave, draw the blinds).

Still convinced this likely stems from their clover problem and they've not realised.

SuzeQStan

I feel really bad for you Llama - it’s just not blumin fair!  As you say contact is upsetting and it sounds like it’s gotten past the point where you would be comfortable reaching out to them in any way.  Is there another neighbour you could call on for moral support in this situation?  Because I’m thinking the way forward is a semi public shaming.  

Do you think they would be a bit ashamed If they became the subject of the gossip in your area?

actually_a_llama

SuzeQStan said:

I feel really bad for you Llama - it’s just not blumin fair!  As you say contact is upsetting and it sounds like it’s gotten past the point where you would be comfortable reaching out to them in any way.  Is there another neighbour you could call on for moral support in this situation?  Because I’m thinking the way forward is a semi public shaming.  

Do you think they would be a bit ashamed If they became the subject of the gossip in your area?

Nah I'm good. Besides already asking the public internet seems in itself a bit of a weird one but I needed to know what to do / what the rules are.

I go to the gym most days of the week now anyway so I've kinda changed things because of the situation and settled into a fitness hobby instead.

I'm just adding to the discussion. I'm fine

prowla

I think llama should plant some lleylandii.

ThisIsWeird

actually_a_llama said:

I think this time the neighbour's antics are so leftfield/odd this time there's been an element of disbelief that makes it easier not to get wound up. But it has 'festered' fairly chronically in the past and led me to get help. I also learned gums don't regrow if you brush teeth too hard from stress...
We did try to be nice to this neighbour when they moved in but now we just have no contact with them and avoid them. Any sort of reaction on my part just upsets me.
I think as long as nothing escalates beyond this... I'm more or less perfectly fine making peace with ignoring it (touch wood). If it's part of a wider plan to stop us feeding birds then it'd be really depressing to just have a garden I only want to do basic maintenance on (e.g. mow + weed, leave, draw the blinds).
Still convinced this likely stems from their clover problem and they've not realised.

Believe me, I know what it's like. And, in my situation, I only wish I'd taken action earlier. But there is always that "will it make matters worse?", thought, coupled with "have they stopped now - perhaps I shouldn't rattle their cage!"

The lesson I have learnt is, gather EVIDENCE. Keep that going until you can demonstrate, beyond reasonable doubt, that there is a pattern to their behaviour.

You have some 'history' here, so I'd suggest writing it all down, in chronological order, dated as closely as you can recall, and just add to it. Add other evidence - these photos, for example - then refer to it in your doc.

DO get a CCTV camera or two. You plug in a card, set it running, and forget about it. If something happens, you then check the recording, and download the clip. I am telling you, knowing that you have a 'permanent witness' present will take a shed-load off your shoulders.

If they pop their head over the fence, say anything, chuck anything, do anything untoward, then the presence of this 'witness' will embolden you to challenge them; "What on earth are you doing?!", in a bemused but firm voice. Ask yourself - what can they say to that? If it's dismissive or offensive, then 'bingo'.

Say things in the form of Qs. Eg, don't say that these reflectors (for example) are a stat nuisance, but ask them if they realise it is; "You DO know, DON'T you, that..." If they are dismissive of this, then ask them, "should I contact the LA, then?" If they reply, "Go ahead!", then do so - and show the officer the clip. It's all about power, and you are taking that away from them by showing them to be unreasonable, irrational, daft.

Give the twits enough rope. For this, I'd fit the cameras discretely. 

As you say, what they've done here is sooo stupidly absurd, that it's not only laughable, but - should you wish to - almost certainly actionable by the LA. I'm not saying you should do this - you judge what is ok for you.

Yes, most likely the LA will be reluctant to act, because most of the cases they are presented with will be 'tit-for-tat' and very complex for them to decipher who is to blame - usually both parties! So you be super-reasonable, BUT be prepared to 'challenge', ask, point out that their behaviour is beyond immature. Ie - be totally matter-of-fact. In your case, it should be open-and-shut.

And - seriously - reclaim your garden. (After fitting cameras...) Feed them birds! Go out there and enjoy them!

Keep us posted :-)

Abbafan1972

It never ceases to amaze me what some neighbours will do! We have a lot of history with our neighbours both sides. We don’t speak to either of them unless we absolutely have to and it’s minimal. I bring back the bins for the neighbour the one side and that’s it. 

We have a private joke about that neighbour with their crazy obsession with cutting the grass. Their “tune” is “I can hear the grass grow” by The Move. Neighbour the other side is the opposite and hardly ever cuts hers or weeds, lol.