Dress code question

silverwhistle

mark_cycling00 said:

 whereas women have to spend £400 or more a year on summer dresses that are fashionable for weddings.

Nope. Sod that! I'll wear the one I bought for my nephew's wedding. I'm sure it must be back in fashion by now! Or at least sufficiently classic...

I've spent a bit going to weddings but am old enough to have missed all the hen nights in Prague sort of thing, or just not moved in those circles. I'm quite capable of saying "No, sorry, I can't" with no detail as to why..

Emmia

silverwhistle said:

mark_cycling00 said:

 whereas women have to spend £400 or more a year on summer dresses that are fashionable for weddings.

Nope. Sod that! I'll wear the one I bought for my nephew's wedding. I'm sure it must be back in fashion by now! Or at least sufficiently classic...

I've spent a bit going to weddings but am old enough to have missed all the hen nights in Prague sort of thing, or just not moved in those circles. I'm quite capable of saying "No, sorry, I can't" with no detail as to why..

To save money (in part) I didn't have a hen do. Can't bear them personally, a total waste of money and usually incredibly tacky. Just why? I tend to be already "busy" for any that I get invited to.

Pollycat

mark_cycling00 said:

There's no cost if you already have a dinner jacket set. It will last 20 years at least whereas women have to spend £400 or more a year on summer dresses that are fashionable for weddings.

One option is to go in a kilt and accessories. No-one at the wedding will really knows if it's all correct or not but you look great in photos and everyone loves you. Can probably get it second hand and it will last for decades. 

No, women don't have to spend anything like that.
I'm sure most wedding guests aren't governed by fashion.
Phase Eight dresses can be had for much less, especially if you buy in the sale.
Ditto Roman.

Rosa_Damascena

Emmia said:

silverwhistle said:

mark_cycling00 said:

 whereas women have to spend £400 or more a year on summer dresses that are fashionable for weddings.

Nope. Sod that! I'll wear the one I bought for my nephew's wedding. I'm sure it must be back in fashion by now! Or at least sufficiently classic...

I've spent a bit going to weddings but am old enough to have missed all the hen nights in Prague sort of thing, or just not moved in those circles. I'm quite capable of saying "No, sorry, I can't" with no detail as to why..

To save money (in part) I didn't have a hen do. Can't bear them personally, a total waste of money and usually incredibly tacky. Just why? I tend to be already "busy" for any that I get invited to.

Am in 100% agreement, although I think that this insight comes with age and experience. For younger people without a mortgage to pay it can be a wonderful experience and not something to endure through gritted teeth.

Spendless

saajan_12 said:

sand_hun said:

Hey, thanks for all the replies, some useful and also slightly conflicting viewpoints. 

It's an Indian wedding reception event at an upscale country hotel - I'm a regular guest in the sense, I don't even know them that well. I'm going to look into the option getting a cheap-ish tux and will also ask around to see what other guests are planning to wear.

As someone who's been to many of these, its a growing trend.. the attendees and those setting the dress code often don't know what black tie actually means.. its just meant to mean 'not Indian traditional wear'. People tend to just go in a western suit and shirt, even split between normal neckties and bowties. 

So for you, I wouldn't worry about any of the nuances between morning suits, dinner jackets, tuxes, etc etc. Any of those will be fine with smart matching trousers in the same colour. Personally I think investing in any one of those will come in useful in the future, even if its a cheap one or second hand. If you don't want to, then maybe even just get the trousers, shirt and tie, and hope its not cold! 

I did wonder that. I'd clarify what they actually mean. Re hen parties, I went o one last month and thought it incredibly good value, o/n in a UK hotel (next town to us) included 2 course evening meal on  day of arrival, breakfast day of departure, use of spa facilities both days, a beauty treatment (choice of 4 diff treatments) a bottle of wine per 2 in the bedroooms, popcorn, chocolates and a choice of films to watch for £155 p.p. Nothing tacky about it IMO and if this wasn't your 'thing' there was an alternative afternoon tea to attend instead/as well if you wished.   

CompulsiveSaver

Like many others, I own a "black tie" suit as my employer at the time held a few black tie events a year and I was senior enough to be expected to attend, so it made sense to own one (several more junior people would turn up in an office suit, even several of those in black tie wouldn't have a wing collar shirt and bow tie). I must admit surprise at Moss Bros' prices; they have significantly increased since the last time I went to them (admittedly it was over 25 years ago!).

My suggestion would be (if you want to go):

• In the first instance, check what they understand as black tie! they might be thinking a suit.
• Do you have any other mutual friends who have been invited? what are they doing? (a few may need a chat)
• If it is black tie, would any close friends or family of a similar size and build lend you a black tie; obviously get it cleaned afterwards and give them a gift as a thank you (also be aware when you are there, that it is someone else's suit you are wearing, so treat it with respect, as they are doing you a favour).
• Speak to your friend, explain you don't want to buy an expensive suit for one event! and you might have to politely decline, you will probably have this conversation anyway (be aware their answer might make you question if they are a good friend; I had to miss a friends wedding a few years ago as I was working out of the country, and strangely enough they though it wasn't unreasonable for me to get time off work (which they knew was difficult), spend a hundreds on airfare, trains and taxis, two nights accommodation in the expensive hotel where the wedding reception was held just for an event of a few hours, plus the wedding gift). Strangely, I wasn't the only person not to attend, we did remain friends, but not as close.
• I find it very difficult to believe everyone they know will have black tie attire! I know enough people who don't own a suit and tie, let alone a black-tie suit! you might find a lot of people don't own black tie and they might be flexible.
• If you want to go, maybe a charity shop; they must be donated?

If you do go, hope you enjoy it. Also hope you all remain friends.

Arthog

Put a Request To Borrow the outfit on Freecycle.

Owain_Moneysaver

Ex-hire DJ suits are about £80 on Ebay (eg Richard Paul Menswear). Cheaper than hiring, and you get to keep or resell it. 

horsewithnoname

silverwhistle said:

mark_cycling00 said:

 whereas women have to spend £400 or more a year on summer dresses that are fashionable for weddings.

Nope. Sod that! I'll wear the one I bought for my nephew's wedding. I'm sure it must be back in fashion by now! Or at least sufficiently classic...

I've spent a bit going to weddings but am old enough to have missed all the hen nights in Prague sort of thing, or just not moved in those circles. I'm quite capable of saying "No, sorry, I can't" with no detail as to why..

I’ve worn the same dress to everything that requires a dress since I bought it 25 years ago. Who gives a toss what I’m wearing? And if they do, more fool them 😂
OP don’t be pressured into spending money you don’t want to spend. EBay or similar, or just wear something smart. 

D123456789

Theres tuxedos on Vinted for a very good price - I see one for a fiver with trousers included.