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Inheritance and partner in law hell, advise needed on highly complicated situation
Gluesticks
Posts: 4 Newbie
I do apologise in advance for how long this is going to be but we are desperate for some advice and our funds have been depleted just as another bombshell hits us.
We lost our Dad 18 months ago very unexpectedly. There are 4 children, older brother, older sister (vulnerable), myself and younger brother. Over the past 6 years before his death, Dad called me several times to discuss his will and his wants and wishes. I recall the first phone call we had, he called me to tell me he had made myself and my older brother executors of his will, that he had left us £25,000 each but our sisters share was to be fed to her in small dribs and drabs as she is vulnerable and would not be able to manage that amount of funds on her own. All absolutely fine. Another phone call specific to his will a year or 2 later stating he would like to gift some to an certain individual and then another year or 2 later to tell me he would like to leave some to his 2 nephews. All absolutely fine, whatever he wanted I would make sure happened.
Dad was emphatic about his finances, he lived incredibly frugally and if he could have taken his money to the grave with him, he would have! Even as children, if we wanted to use the house phone, we'd have to pay him 20p and he wouldn't even lend us a fiver, we'd get a speech about never borrowing money and if we wanted something, we had to go out and work for it and save up. He sounds like a right tight git and in a way he was but it was his way and we all knew it and has brought us many smiles over the years both before and after his passing. My point is, we knew our Dad SO well, its very hard not to know someone and how they work when you have been mentored and navigated by their own moral compass your entire life. He was immensely strong in every way possible (ex Para) and was very open with us about what he wanted and we understood his directions.
Dad became ill in early November and was admitted to hospital. He remained positive & optimistic throughout when we had phone/video calls but we all were told, by his then partner (they had been together 15 years), that Dad did not want any visitors & for us not to visit him. At the time we found this very odd as It's not something our Dad would say, the only thing I could think of would be because he did not want us to see him like that as he was a very proud man.
Dad was admitted to intensive care on 20th December, it was Christmas and older brother was over for the festive period from Texas. On 21st December Dads partner called older brother to say Dad was very 'anxious' about his will & wanted to change it, this perplexed us as not at all like Dad to be anxious, have never seen him anxious at all. We asked what he wanted it changed to and she said she would tell us later. Later came & she told us it was to ensure older sister was looked after and taken care of. Didn't understand the drama around this as I knew this already, Dad & I had had conversations about it previously, I knew EXACTLY what was required.
In the early hours of the following day on 22nd December, Dad was put on life support. He died later that day at. Partner called older brother just after 11am to say Dad had been put on a ventilator, by this point it had been 6 or so hours he had been ventilated. Older brother called me and I said we needed to get to the hospital immediately. Having worked in nursing care and being avidly interested in nursing, I knew this was serious & the last option they had for Dad. I called the hospital to check it was ok for us to go and see him, covid was still around & the hospital was a minimum hours drives from all of us, they said I needed a password, I didn't have a password, I said I can offer all information about Dad but as it was ICU they had strict rules. I asked who had the password & they told me the partner did. They said they would ask a DR to call me. As I waited for that call, I desperately tried to get hold of partner to get the password but there was no answer. Dr called me back & I heard the words 'we did everything we could but he sadly passed away about an hour ago'. We had missed the one opportunity to say goodbye to the man that gave us life. I still carry tremendous guilt & sadness that I could not be with Dad in his final moments and I still don't understand why partner did not tell us of a password or phone us to tell us he had been put on life support.
Life felt weird, everything felt out of sync and for anyone that has lost a loving parent, you'll know that you physically & instantly feel incomplete and that a part of you is missing. 2 days after Dad passed away, I made a sleep care package to take down to partner as although I had lost my Dad, thought how awful it must be to go home to an empty house. I didn't stay long, I really was not ready to go into Dads home and see all his belongings but I did it to go and offer support to his partner. ALL she talked about was the will & the changes that had been made & that he died before it could be signed but that she trusts us & he trusted us to ensure that his dying wishes were fulfilled. It didn't make sense to me, that this was such a priority at this moment given that it wasn't even 48 hours since he'd been gone & also she had told me it was about older sister.. As she was talking about Dads will, her 3 sons were clearing out Dads squash drinks and fizzy water bottles, putting them in a box to get rid of. I specifically remember thinking it was a bit early to be doing this & said I would rather Dads belongings were left & I could come down again & sort through them together & asked them not to throw anything away. I left there feeling very uncomfortable about things.
The following day partner called me to say she didn't want to organise the funeral & I would need to do it. That's fine, I expected to anyway. Over next couple of days my brothers also raised concerns that each time they checked in on partner, all she talked about was Dads will and the codicil. To be honest, it was upsetting us all. We had just lost Dad and the last thing we were remotely interested in was his money or estate. It was the furthest thing from out minds and with this being the first major loss we had had, we were shocked that this is what happens when you lose someone.
6 days after Dad passed, as we didn't want to leave partner out of everything funeral and would assume she may want some input in terms of readings, songs, hymns and arranged to go and see her and discuss the funeral. We arrived, and again the will was brought up. This time I had older brother with me, one of the calmest people I know and even he had to be firm and say we are not here to discuss Dads will but his funeral, this was after 3 times of it being brough up within about 40 minutes. I had at this point been given the will, by partner, as well as a hand written codicil for the attention of the solicitor that she managed to get hold of 3 days before Christmas. I read the attempted codicil and it then all made perfect sense why there was so much noise around the will as alongside the care of my sister was a section stating that said partner was to have all monies in Dads immediate accounts which wasn't a huge sum but enough for me to question Dads apparent actions and given that he was still communicating with us up until 12 hours before he passed, not once did he tell any one of his 4 children he had made this change. As i was sat on chair with will on my lap I asked partner if I could have the details of the solicitor who spoke with Dad, I was asked why I wanted it, I said because this is very unusual for my Dad to be absolutely certain his entire life where he wanted his money to go, for him to want to change his mind 24 hours before he died when he would have been full of drugs, utterly exhausted, extremely ill and most certainly not in his usual and right state of mind. She told me then that Dad did not speak to solicitor and that she just held the phone to Dads ear. She had previously told older brother Dad had spoke with solicitor. Something was not right here and my Dad was not here to tell us what exactly happened, all we had to go on is Dads strength of character and what had been ingrained in us for all our lives. We were unanimous that this did not sound like Dad at all, nor that he didn't say anything at all to any of us. In fact 4 days before he died he had a conversation with younger brother saying how happy he was with his will. What wasnt in the will, was the £25,000 Dad said he had left us all each in trust, but to my surprise, he had left us 25% each of his share of the property he owned with partner.
What followed after this has just been arduous. Within the week all Dads belongings had been thrown away. We were denied any access to get Dads paperwork from his huge filing cabinet which he had had since we were kids and he was meticulous about keeping paperwork and all in order. Partner told family members we were not including her in funeral even though she had said she didn't want to be involved and even though despite that we still tried to involve her and when attending her house, all she just talked about the will. She logged on to my Dads social media and blocked myself and my son from his account so we could not access anymore his photos or videos. Partner did not attend Dads wake. Older brother had told her we would not discuss the will until after the funeral and 3 days after the funeral she requested that probate be started as she wanted to move out of the home they lived in. By this point, I was exhausted, because of when Dad died, 3 days before Christmas, it had been a long wait until his funeral and I desperately just needed some time to process everything that had happened. I hadn't grieved as was too busy arranging everything and looking out for everyone. My children, my siblings, the partner (despite all this I was telling myself its the grief and this isnt normal) my 97 year old grandma, my aunties, my cousins. I just needed rest.
Dad and partner were tenants in common. Bought the house outright with no mortgage. Dad owed 60% partner 40%. Will states partner has right to reside in dwellinghouse until marriage or she chooses to move.
We have so far spent almost £10,000 in legal fees trying to get all this sorted because partner is just being so difficult, we have run out of disposable income unless we start taking out loans and going into savings. There are 3 things we need assistance on
1. If Dad put £25,000 for each of us into trust, where could we find this information out? As mentioned before, partner denied us access to any of Dads paperwork and to his huge filing cabinet and all she gave us was the will and a bank statement as well as some passwords on a piece of paper, we have nothing to go off other than what he told me and younger brother. As he was so incredibly fit and healthy, none of us expected to lose him and thought we had years to discuss all of this in more detail. I also shouldn't imagine that Dad would ever have thought partner would have treated us the way she has and denied us access to what he wanted. Please know, we are not about the money, at all. We are all grown adults with our own homes and families but if Dad has left us a gift, we feel awful that its sat somewhere, especially as it could be helping older sister.
2. When they bought the property they lived in, Dad converted the stand alone garage into a self contained 1 bed annexe which was intended for grandma to go into when she needed it, she just hasn't needed it and is still incredibly independent at the age of 98. In the meantime, they got a lodger in who has been there 10 years and the rent from the annexe goes into what was a shared account. We requested 60% of that rent as part of Dads estate and as guided by our solicitor as it formed part of the inheritance tax we had to pay and because there is only a right to reside and not a life interest. Please be aware, we would never have requested this had partner not have treated us the way she has. I think the final straw was when our solicitor requested Dads wallet (it was falling apart and he had had it for YEARS and was so frugal he wouldn't have a new one) and she sent a brand new designer wallet instead. We just wanted it for sentimental reasons as we used to take the mickey that it would creak when he opened it and be full of dust and cobwebs. A comfort thing. Partner, when we requested rent 1 year after Dad passed, got her own solicitor involved who is saying we are not entitled to rent as its a life interest in the house. Our solicitor says its a right to reside only and that we will need to instruct a litigator to sort it out which would mean more in legal costs which we don't have. However, the worm has turned and we have received a letter from partners solicitor stating that the current lodger is refusing to move out and that partner can not afford to legally eject him and that as joint owners we need to help with this financially. My solicitor asked if that's an admittance that we have right to the 60% share to which they have responded yes, and that partner is willing to compromise on a 50/50 basis seen as she has had to deal with the lodger and also the upkeep of property and insurance. It does state in Dads will that she is to be responsible for these things while she occupies the house with no cost being imposed on us.
3. Along with the letter of number 2, came a bombshell that apparently there is a professionally drafted declaration of trust document saying that Dad owes partner £100,000 from when our Dad and Mum divorced and partner lent Dad the money to settle divorce until the family home was sold. Now this was some 18 years ago and I am almost certain that what happened was, Mum and Dad separated, Dad after a few years met partner, partner sold her house and temporarily moved into family home and lent Dad money to pay Mum. Dad then sold family home and used money to buy current home and listed it as 60/40 ownership there fore paying back the £100,000 that he had borrowed. I cant prove it. Banks apparently only go back 7 years and I guarantee Dad would absolutely of had something somewhere to prove it had been paid back or would have otherwise stated so in his will. Only again, we were denied access to any paper work and this has now come up 18 months after Dad has passed. He was a very honest man and would no way have been in debt to anyone. Remember he wouldnt even lend us a fiver because he would not do debt and owning. Never even had a credit card! All he ever owed was a mortgage. If this IS true, it also means we have paid thousands in inheritance tax when this debt would have taken us below the threshold and also the costs incurred to instruct solicitor to do that.
At this moment in time we feel partner is trying to rinse all Dads income dry because she couldnt have it and its really hurtful that she is treating him this way after everything he did. She has been left in a home with no mortgage to pay, a car which we let slide as know it was Dads, a regular income from the lodger and just set up for life. This is alongside knowing she has been beneficiary of at least 3 wills in the last 10 years and has so many premium bonds she cant deposit any more. All I am trying to do is exactly what my Dad wanted, carrying out his final wishes and instructions as per his will and my legal role. I believe what she is doing is fraud and I dont know where I can go to prove it.
In a way I am hoping someone has been through a messed up situation like this to offer some advice and guidance but also not as its incredibly draining and hurtful.
If you got this far, thank you!
We lost our Dad 18 months ago very unexpectedly. There are 4 children, older brother, older sister (vulnerable), myself and younger brother. Over the past 6 years before his death, Dad called me several times to discuss his will and his wants and wishes. I recall the first phone call we had, he called me to tell me he had made myself and my older brother executors of his will, that he had left us £25,000 each but our sisters share was to be fed to her in small dribs and drabs as she is vulnerable and would not be able to manage that amount of funds on her own. All absolutely fine. Another phone call specific to his will a year or 2 later stating he would like to gift some to an certain individual and then another year or 2 later to tell me he would like to leave some to his 2 nephews. All absolutely fine, whatever he wanted I would make sure happened.
Dad was emphatic about his finances, he lived incredibly frugally and if he could have taken his money to the grave with him, he would have! Even as children, if we wanted to use the house phone, we'd have to pay him 20p and he wouldn't even lend us a fiver, we'd get a speech about never borrowing money and if we wanted something, we had to go out and work for it and save up. He sounds like a right tight git and in a way he was but it was his way and we all knew it and has brought us many smiles over the years both before and after his passing. My point is, we knew our Dad SO well, its very hard not to know someone and how they work when you have been mentored and navigated by their own moral compass your entire life. He was immensely strong in every way possible (ex Para) and was very open with us about what he wanted and we understood his directions.
Dad became ill in early November and was admitted to hospital. He remained positive & optimistic throughout when we had phone/video calls but we all were told, by his then partner (they had been together 15 years), that Dad did not want any visitors & for us not to visit him. At the time we found this very odd as It's not something our Dad would say, the only thing I could think of would be because he did not want us to see him like that as he was a very proud man.
Dad was admitted to intensive care on 20th December, it was Christmas and older brother was over for the festive period from Texas. On 21st December Dads partner called older brother to say Dad was very 'anxious' about his will & wanted to change it, this perplexed us as not at all like Dad to be anxious, have never seen him anxious at all. We asked what he wanted it changed to and she said she would tell us later. Later came & she told us it was to ensure older sister was looked after and taken care of. Didn't understand the drama around this as I knew this already, Dad & I had had conversations about it previously, I knew EXACTLY what was required.
In the early hours of the following day on 22nd December, Dad was put on life support. He died later that day at. Partner called older brother just after 11am to say Dad had been put on a ventilator, by this point it had been 6 or so hours he had been ventilated. Older brother called me and I said we needed to get to the hospital immediately. Having worked in nursing care and being avidly interested in nursing, I knew this was serious & the last option they had for Dad. I called the hospital to check it was ok for us to go and see him, covid was still around & the hospital was a minimum hours drives from all of us, they said I needed a password, I didn't have a password, I said I can offer all information about Dad but as it was ICU they had strict rules. I asked who had the password & they told me the partner did. They said they would ask a DR to call me. As I waited for that call, I desperately tried to get hold of partner to get the password but there was no answer. Dr called me back & I heard the words 'we did everything we could but he sadly passed away about an hour ago'. We had missed the one opportunity to say goodbye to the man that gave us life. I still carry tremendous guilt & sadness that I could not be with Dad in his final moments and I still don't understand why partner did not tell us of a password or phone us to tell us he had been put on life support.
Life felt weird, everything felt out of sync and for anyone that has lost a loving parent, you'll know that you physically & instantly feel incomplete and that a part of you is missing. 2 days after Dad passed away, I made a sleep care package to take down to partner as although I had lost my Dad, thought how awful it must be to go home to an empty house. I didn't stay long, I really was not ready to go into Dads home and see all his belongings but I did it to go and offer support to his partner. ALL she talked about was the will & the changes that had been made & that he died before it could be signed but that she trusts us & he trusted us to ensure that his dying wishes were fulfilled. It didn't make sense to me, that this was such a priority at this moment given that it wasn't even 48 hours since he'd been gone & also she had told me it was about older sister.. As she was talking about Dads will, her 3 sons were clearing out Dads squash drinks and fizzy water bottles, putting them in a box to get rid of. I specifically remember thinking it was a bit early to be doing this & said I would rather Dads belongings were left & I could come down again & sort through them together & asked them not to throw anything away. I left there feeling very uncomfortable about things.
The following day partner called me to say she didn't want to organise the funeral & I would need to do it. That's fine, I expected to anyway. Over next couple of days my brothers also raised concerns that each time they checked in on partner, all she talked about was Dads will and the codicil. To be honest, it was upsetting us all. We had just lost Dad and the last thing we were remotely interested in was his money or estate. It was the furthest thing from out minds and with this being the first major loss we had had, we were shocked that this is what happens when you lose someone.
6 days after Dad passed, as we didn't want to leave partner out of everything funeral and would assume she may want some input in terms of readings, songs, hymns and arranged to go and see her and discuss the funeral. We arrived, and again the will was brought up. This time I had older brother with me, one of the calmest people I know and even he had to be firm and say we are not here to discuss Dads will but his funeral, this was after 3 times of it being brough up within about 40 minutes. I had at this point been given the will, by partner, as well as a hand written codicil for the attention of the solicitor that she managed to get hold of 3 days before Christmas. I read the attempted codicil and it then all made perfect sense why there was so much noise around the will as alongside the care of my sister was a section stating that said partner was to have all monies in Dads immediate accounts which wasn't a huge sum but enough for me to question Dads apparent actions and given that he was still communicating with us up until 12 hours before he passed, not once did he tell any one of his 4 children he had made this change. As i was sat on chair with will on my lap I asked partner if I could have the details of the solicitor who spoke with Dad, I was asked why I wanted it, I said because this is very unusual for my Dad to be absolutely certain his entire life where he wanted his money to go, for him to want to change his mind 24 hours before he died when he would have been full of drugs, utterly exhausted, extremely ill and most certainly not in his usual and right state of mind. She told me then that Dad did not speak to solicitor and that she just held the phone to Dads ear. She had previously told older brother Dad had spoke with solicitor. Something was not right here and my Dad was not here to tell us what exactly happened, all we had to go on is Dads strength of character and what had been ingrained in us for all our lives. We were unanimous that this did not sound like Dad at all, nor that he didn't say anything at all to any of us. In fact 4 days before he died he had a conversation with younger brother saying how happy he was with his will. What wasnt in the will, was the £25,000 Dad said he had left us all each in trust, but to my surprise, he had left us 25% each of his share of the property he owned with partner.
What followed after this has just been arduous. Within the week all Dads belongings had been thrown away. We were denied any access to get Dads paperwork from his huge filing cabinet which he had had since we were kids and he was meticulous about keeping paperwork and all in order. Partner told family members we were not including her in funeral even though she had said she didn't want to be involved and even though despite that we still tried to involve her and when attending her house, all she just talked about the will. She logged on to my Dads social media and blocked myself and my son from his account so we could not access anymore his photos or videos. Partner did not attend Dads wake. Older brother had told her we would not discuss the will until after the funeral and 3 days after the funeral she requested that probate be started as she wanted to move out of the home they lived in. By this point, I was exhausted, because of when Dad died, 3 days before Christmas, it had been a long wait until his funeral and I desperately just needed some time to process everything that had happened. I hadn't grieved as was too busy arranging everything and looking out for everyone. My children, my siblings, the partner (despite all this I was telling myself its the grief and this isnt normal) my 97 year old grandma, my aunties, my cousins. I just needed rest.
Dad and partner were tenants in common. Bought the house outright with no mortgage. Dad owed 60% partner 40%. Will states partner has right to reside in dwellinghouse until marriage or she chooses to move.
We have so far spent almost £10,000 in legal fees trying to get all this sorted because partner is just being so difficult, we have run out of disposable income unless we start taking out loans and going into savings. There are 3 things we need assistance on
1. If Dad put £25,000 for each of us into trust, where could we find this information out? As mentioned before, partner denied us access to any of Dads paperwork and to his huge filing cabinet and all she gave us was the will and a bank statement as well as some passwords on a piece of paper, we have nothing to go off other than what he told me and younger brother. As he was so incredibly fit and healthy, none of us expected to lose him and thought we had years to discuss all of this in more detail. I also shouldn't imagine that Dad would ever have thought partner would have treated us the way she has and denied us access to what he wanted. Please know, we are not about the money, at all. We are all grown adults with our own homes and families but if Dad has left us a gift, we feel awful that its sat somewhere, especially as it could be helping older sister.
2. When they bought the property they lived in, Dad converted the stand alone garage into a self contained 1 bed annexe which was intended for grandma to go into when she needed it, she just hasn't needed it and is still incredibly independent at the age of 98. In the meantime, they got a lodger in who has been there 10 years and the rent from the annexe goes into what was a shared account. We requested 60% of that rent as part of Dads estate and as guided by our solicitor as it formed part of the inheritance tax we had to pay and because there is only a right to reside and not a life interest. Please be aware, we would never have requested this had partner not have treated us the way she has. I think the final straw was when our solicitor requested Dads wallet (it was falling apart and he had had it for YEARS and was so frugal he wouldn't have a new one) and she sent a brand new designer wallet instead. We just wanted it for sentimental reasons as we used to take the mickey that it would creak when he opened it and be full of dust and cobwebs. A comfort thing. Partner, when we requested rent 1 year after Dad passed, got her own solicitor involved who is saying we are not entitled to rent as its a life interest in the house. Our solicitor says its a right to reside only and that we will need to instruct a litigator to sort it out which would mean more in legal costs which we don't have. However, the worm has turned and we have received a letter from partners solicitor stating that the current lodger is refusing to move out and that partner can not afford to legally eject him and that as joint owners we need to help with this financially. My solicitor asked if that's an admittance that we have right to the 60% share to which they have responded yes, and that partner is willing to compromise on a 50/50 basis seen as she has had to deal with the lodger and also the upkeep of property and insurance. It does state in Dads will that she is to be responsible for these things while she occupies the house with no cost being imposed on us.
3. Along with the letter of number 2, came a bombshell that apparently there is a professionally drafted declaration of trust document saying that Dad owes partner £100,000 from when our Dad and Mum divorced and partner lent Dad the money to settle divorce until the family home was sold. Now this was some 18 years ago and I am almost certain that what happened was, Mum and Dad separated, Dad after a few years met partner, partner sold her house and temporarily moved into family home and lent Dad money to pay Mum. Dad then sold family home and used money to buy current home and listed it as 60/40 ownership there fore paying back the £100,000 that he had borrowed. I cant prove it. Banks apparently only go back 7 years and I guarantee Dad would absolutely of had something somewhere to prove it had been paid back or would have otherwise stated so in his will. Only again, we were denied access to any paper work and this has now come up 18 months after Dad has passed. He was a very honest man and would no way have been in debt to anyone. Remember he wouldnt even lend us a fiver because he would not do debt and owning. Never even had a credit card! All he ever owed was a mortgage. If this IS true, it also means we have paid thousands in inheritance tax when this debt would have taken us below the threshold and also the costs incurred to instruct solicitor to do that.
At this moment in time we feel partner is trying to rinse all Dads income dry because she couldnt have it and its really hurtful that she is treating him this way after everything he did. She has been left in a home with no mortgage to pay, a car which we let slide as know it was Dads, a regular income from the lodger and just set up for life. This is alongside knowing she has been beneficiary of at least 3 wills in the last 10 years and has so many premium bonds she cant deposit any more. All I am trying to do is exactly what my Dad wanted, carrying out his final wishes and instructions as per his will and my legal role. I believe what she is doing is fraud and I dont know where I can go to prove it.
In a way I am hoping someone has been through a messed up situation like this to offer some advice and guidance but also not as its incredibly draining and hurtful.
If you got this far, thank you!
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Comments
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I’m really sorry, I didn’t manage to get to the end with all the details. You probably need to take a lot of the surplus detail out of people to persevere.However, as he died before the will was signed (as far as I understand it) then the will isn’t valid. Is there a previous signed will that you know of or are you following the intestacy process?I’m confused about how you’ve managed to spend 10 K so far?All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.
Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.0 -
again I agree it is far too long can you just summarize it. one thing I think I picked out was that the partner has a right to live there as long as they want and own a 40% share, the other 60 forming part of your father's estate. Is that correct ?0
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I'm sorry, but like elsien I really struggled to get to the end.
I think if you want people to read you need to concentrate on the facts and cut out a lot of the extra detail.
To help others I've tried to edit your original post down a bit while keeping what I think are the main points - if you think in doing so I've distorted things let me know and I'll remove it.Gluesticks said:We lost our Dad 18 months ago very unexpectedly. There are 4 children, older brother, older sister (vulnerable), myself and younger brother. Over the past 6 years before his death, Dad called me several times to discuss his will and his wants and wishes. I recall the first phone call we had, he called me to tell me he had made myself and my older brother executors of his will, that he had left us £25,000 each but our sisters share was to be fed to her in small dribs and drabs as she is vulnerable and would not be able to manage that amount of funds on her own.
Another phone call specific to his will a year or 2 later stating he would like to gift some to an certain individual and then another year or 2 later to tell me he would like to leave some to his 2 nephews.
Dad was admitted to intensive care on 20th December. On 21st December Dads partner called older brother to say Dad was very 'anxious' about his will & wanted to change it, We asked what he wanted it changed to and told us it was to ensure older sister was looked after and taken care of. Didn't understand the drama around this as I knew this already, Dad & I had had conversations about it previously, I knew EXACTLY what was required.
In the early hours of the following day on 22nd December [2022], Dad was put on life support. He died later that day
2 days after Dad passed away, I made a sleep care package to take down to partner. ALL she talked about was the will & the changes that had been made & that he died before it could be signed but that she trusts us & he trusted us to ensure that his dying wishes were fulfilled.
The following day partner called me to say she didn't want to organise the funeral & I would need to do it. That's fine, I expected to anyway. Over next couple of days my brothers also raised concerns that each time they checked in on partner, all she talked about was Dads will and the codicil.
6 days after Dad passed, again the will was brought up [by partner]. I had at this point been given the will, by partner, as well as a hand written codicil for the attention of the solicitor that she managed to get hold of 3 days before Christmas. I read the attempted codicil and ....alongside the care of my sister was a section stating that said partner was to have all monies in Dads immediate accounts (which wasn't a huge sum). I asked partner if I could have the details of the solicitor who spoke with Dad, She told me then that Dad did not speak to solicitor and that she just held the phone to Dads ear. She had previously told older brother Dad had spoke with solicitor. this did not sound like Dad at all, nor that he didn't say anything at all to any of us. In fact 4 days before he died he had a conversation with younger brother saying how happy he was with his will. What wasnt in the will, was the £25,000 Dad said he had left us all each in trust, but to my surprise, he had left us 25% each of his share of the property he owned with partner.
Partner did not attend Dads wake. Older brother had told her we would not discuss the will until after the funeral and 3 days after the funeral she requested that probate be started as she wanted to move out of the home they lived in.
Dad and partner were tenants in common. Bought the house outright with no mortgage. Dad owed 60% partner 40%. Will states partner has right to reside in dwellinghouse until marriage or she chooses to move.
We have so far spent almost £10,000 in legal fees trying to get all this sorted because partner is just being so difficult, we have run out of disposable income unless we start taking out loans and going into savings. There are 3 things we need assistance on
1. If Dad put £25,000 for each of us into trust, where could we find this information out? Partner denied us access to any of Dads paperwork , all she gave us was the will and a bank statement as well as some passwords on a piece of paper, we have nothing to go off other than what he told me and younger brother.
2. When they bought the property they lived in, Dad converted the stand alone garage into a self contained 1 bed annexe which was intended for grandma to go into when she needed it, she just hasn't needed it. In the meantime, they got a lodger in who has been there 10 years and the rent from the annexe goes into what was a shared account. We requested 60% of that rent as part of Dads estate and as guided by our solicitor as it formed part of the inheritance tax we had to pay and because there is only a right to reside and not a life interest.
Partner, when we requested rent 1 year after Dad passed, got her own solicitor involved who is saying we are not entitled to rent as its a life interest in the house. Our solicitor says its a right to reside only and that we will need to instruct a litigator to sort it out which would mean more in legal costs which we don't have. We have received a letter from partners solicitor stating that the current lodger is refusing to move out and that partner can not afford to legally eject him and that as joint owners we need to help with this financially. My solicitor asked if that's an admittance that we have right to the 60% share to which they have responded yes, and that partner is willing to compromise on a 50/50 basis seen as she has had to deal with the lodger and also the upkeep of property and insurance. It does state in Dads will that she is to be responsible for these things while she occupies the house with no cost being imposed on us.
3. Along with the letter of number 2, came a bombshell that apparently there is a professionally drafted declaration of trust document saying that Dad owes partner £100,000 from when our Dad and Mum divorced and partner lent Dad the money to settle divorce until the family home was sold. Now this was some 18 years ago and I am almost certain that what happened was, Mum and Dad separated, Dad after a few years met partner, partner sold her house and temporarily moved into family home and lent Dad money to pay Mum. Dad then sold family home and used money to buy current home and listed it as 60/40 ownership there fore paying back the £100,000 that he had borrowed. I cant prove it. Banks apparently only go back 7 years and I guarantee Dad would absolutely of had something somewhere to prove it had been paid back or would have otherwise stated so in his will. Only again, we were denied access to any paper work and this has now come up 18 months after Dad has passed.
If this IS true, it also means we have paid thousands in inheritance tax when this debt would have taken us below the threshold and also the costs incurred to instruct solicitor to do that.
All I am trying to do is exactly what my Dad wanted, carrying out his final wishes and instructions as per his will and my legal role. I believe what she is doing is fraud and I dont know where I can go to prove it.
In a way I am hoping someone has been through a messed up situation like this to offer some advice and guidance but also not as its incredibly draining and hurtful.
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I struggled too - there's a lot of emotional detail which is obscuring the facts.
1. What does the valid (signed) will say? In terms of money or shares of Dad's part of the property he owned with his partner?
2. Has any codicil (you mention one) been properly signed and witnessed, and when did this happen?
3. Do you have a copy of the "professionally drafted" trust document... And all other relevant documents like the will, codicil, etc.
The fact the partner has lots of premium bonds or has been the beneficiary of three wills previously is a bit irrelevant.0 -
I'm not going to ride for too long on the TL;DR Dogpile Express, but I did have to ask ChatGPT to pick out the questions that needed answering. I am sure the OP will let us know if any remain unanswered.1. If Dad put £25,000 for each of us into trust, where could we find this information out?
It is unclear from your post whether Dad put £25,000 for each of you into trust (which is essentially giving you £25,000 each, but in an account with his name on it or other Trustees' names on it instead of your own) or left you £25,000 each in the Will.
Both are very different. The first means he gave you £25,000 while he was alive (but in a more complicated way than simply putting £25,000 into your own bank account). The second means you received nothing until he died. From your description there is no mention of £25,000 legacies in the Will so the second hasn't happened.
If he did the first thing, there would be no mention of these trusts in the Will because they would not be part of the estate.
If there is no evidence that he ever set up trust accounts holding £25,000 for each of you, then probably best to assume they never existed.
The 60% interest in the rent from the annexe - you don't appear to have asked a question here, and if you had it would be well above the pay grade of people down the pub. Professional legal advice is needed here, which you are getting.
The £100,000 debt - as it was 18 years old and there is no evidence any repayments were being made, or that your late father acknowledged the debt in the last six years, it sounds very much like if it wasn't already repaid, it was statute barred. Either way the estate would owe nothing.
Part of the reason the statute barring rule exists is to prevent exactly this kind of scenario where a creditor has evidence of a long-ago debt but the evidence that it was repaid is lost to the mists of time.
However you should take legal advice, because if the estate does have a valid debt and the executors don't pay it, the executors could be personally liable.0 -
I don’t think a deed of trust can be simply be statute barred as it documenting a beneficial interest in the house. Legal advice definitely needs to be taken here. There must be another deed of trusts regarding the current house showing the uneven split in ownership which and this could override the older one.Malthusian said:The £100,000 debt - as it was 18 years old and there is no evidence any repayments were being made, or that your late father acknowledged the debt in the last six years, it sounds very much like if it wasn't already repaid, it was statute barred. Either way the estate would owe nothing.
Part of the reason the statute barring rule exists is to prevent exactly this kind of scenario where a creditor has evidence of a long-ago debt but the evidence that it was repaid is lost to the mists of time.
However you should take legal advice, because if the estate does have a valid debt and the executors don't pay it, the executors could be personally liable.The OPs father had left a real financial mess to be sorted by his executor.0 -
Already done the rounds on that one: https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6522321/who-does-rent-belong-to-when-one-tenant-in-common-dies#latestMalthusian said:
The 60% interest in the rent from the annexe - you don't appear to have asked a question here, and if you had it would be well above the pay grade of people down the pub. Professional legal advice is needed here, which you are getting.
However you should take legal advice, because if the estate does have a valid debt and the executors don't pay it, the executors could be personally liable.
Google and AI are no substitute....Googling on your question might have been both quicker and easier, if you're only after simple facts rather than opinions!0
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