Goals and budgeting - my diary

MissG80

Just been doing some sums and I think I'm going to bite the bullet and go back into the pension scheme at the minimum 4% as I agree I am just losing out.

MissG80

Ahh Barclay card is 262 a month and Lloyds is 63.

MissG80

enthusiasticsaver said:

If you think you spend a lot on food and live opposite a Waitrose I am guessing that a lot of the £800 missing is going there.  We have a Lidl and Waitrose and Morrisons extra  in our town. If I shop at Lidls or Morrisons our groceries for 2 of us come to about £250 a month.  If we shop at Waitrose it is £400

Yes basically. Do we live in the same town? Maybe this is most UK towns! I need to enter a shop into Ocado and see what it comes to compared to Tesco.   

In all honesty I find it depressing when I swipe my card at Waitrose and see what it comes to. It doesn't bring me joy. Not enjoyable when it costs a fortune. I want to feel pleased that I made tasty and affordable meals.

I find Lidl/most supermarkets too much (I am autistic) whereas Waitrose is calmer...but the online shop system is not stressful AND it is far cheaper.    

Aimingforthegoodlife

Hi @MissG80 just wanted to pop on and wish you well on your journey. I will look at my previous month and write down all my spending, it can be really sobering to see where money is going! Just being aware of money can help with the spending though!

Philliggi

My daughter is autistic and for that reason if shes with me we get there for opening. Its quiet at 8 am. We shop at aldi and the money is there to be saved. 

I live quite a budget lifestyle. Shop at the cheap shops, drive the cheap car and basically save money wherever we can. Its amazing how much money is out there to be saved if you want to save it. 

MissG80

I have some homework to do in writing out where the money went last month. Will do this to see whats happening. 

MissG80

Here it is

2849 salary

Waitrose - 287.55

Costa - 38.17

Wetherspoon 12.89

Convenience store - 4.54

Pret - 23.44

Pizza Express - 26.20

Leon Food - 8.57

Amazon - tape for labelling machine, gym fitness ball, magnetic clips for notice board, desk mat, 2 phone stands, colouring pencils, books - 87

Prep Kitchen subscription ' 43.75

Muscle Food subscription - 55.75

Grammarly (trial then cancelled) - 25

Theatre - 40.50

Postage 11.23

Leaving present and birthday present - 25.60

Car wash - 10

New door for oven that smashed - 60

Rest is bills and travel.

Well that is quite sobering. A fairly typical month.

Waitrose, Costa, Wetherspoon are all in my local area when WFH.

Pret, Pizza Express and Leon are near the office.

Amazon items were mostly for home office. Prep Kitchen and Muscle Food are high protein meals, one off and for the freezer, to take advantage of the cheap deals as work is very busy at the moment. Theatre, oven door etc., I am OK with those spends.

But at least £380 a month should not be there in spends. I don't need any of those additional meals etc.

So, I need to sort the meal planning and food aspect out, otherwise it's just a pointless exercise doing a budget. 

The difficulty is that if I haven't planned and booked the shop by Friday I can't collect it. 

I know what you mean in regard to going shopping early so maybe I have to just be strict and say to myself if I haven't done click and collect then I drive to Tesco anyway at that time i.e. 8am and go and do the food shop manually. Not give myself too many options or choices to deviate from That will teach me quite quickly to order it I think 😂 

One thing I have noticed since being medicated for ADHD is that I prefer routine and I actually really struggle with chaos, change and lack of routine. It sort of creates this unidentifiable malaise and if I change too many things at once I am completely lost.  I struggle to think of solutions so this thread is helpful for me in writing it out.  

I'm essentially a little microcosm intern environment that only I seem to understand and if one area is off it affects every area....at least knowing this means that if I start to feel I am drifting I need to check in with how all my systems are doing.

OK, so from THIS Saturday I am driving to Tesco to get the food shop.

enthusiasticsaver

There is lots of ADHD and autism in my family so totally get the not liking busy places and not finding change easy so just changing one or two things initially might be a good idea.  Another thing is the impulsivity and my son in law who is ADHD and medicated will not spend money and just leaves all shopping to my daughter as he struggles with impulse control and would just buy everything immediately he thought of it regardless of whether he needs it or can afford it. As presumably it is just you can you set yourself a rule that you do not go on Amazon except certain times or days and do not click the Buy Now button? Shopping early in Tesco sounds sensible. 

MissG80

Also any tech savvy people how do you keep track of your finances? I have a spreadsheet, someone set it up for me about 15 years ago and it tends to have the same budget repeated 12 times so showing what my end savings and debts should be at the end of the financial year. In reality since the start of the pandemic I've not had more than a 1 month view. So perhaps revisiting that and setting up the 12 month view would be good.

What I struggle with is the day to day though.  I know what it is. Its the whole contactless culture. How do you do your accounting? Do you account daily or weekly? I mean an awful lot can go off track in one week. I'm just not sure I'm getting the budgeting mindset as it's always been, Oh !!!!!! panic, pay off debts, calm for a couple of months.  If I was to look back:

Positives in childhood were that I always had part time jobs from 15, also did save pennies for things as a kid. But at the same time was often just given money if I asked to go out. Parents were quite strict about money for clothes, and spending in general. I knew I had to earn money if I wanted it for fun. Didn't have lots of stuff. Very attached to what I had.  Some issues to unravel here.

Then....I waitressed in my late teens and the money was absolutely lucrative. I'd be taking home £50-£120 depending on the shift in tips in the late 90s. Mostly went on pub crawls, clubbing, festivals. Gosh when I look at it like that it's quite interesting. 

Bar work at University, slightly more economical as the evening would end in free booze, so I'd earn money for food and cover a social llife. Paid back my 3k overdraft (remember when they gradually increased your overdraft each year at uni, hooking you into the debt like a rite of passage..or was it meant to teach responsibility?) with waitressing earnings.

Then made a bad mistake and moved out of home with only the waitressing job. Was OK but struggled a little then moved back home and went abroad with a credit card. 

Spent 3k in a year and converted it a loan which I duly paid back (later on I got £800 in PPI back, thanks Martin). 

I think where it went wrong was getting another credit card when I started earning an OK wage. I was convinced I needed nice clothes to fit in.  I used to spend so much pointless time browsing shops. 

I did manage to save and got a deposit on shared ownership, there were some spends in those first few years. 

Another thing happened which was that I bought a larger share of my property. The Housing Association made an error in calculating the service charge (common theme lol but this one went in my favour). They underestimated it and I worked out if I paid off my student loan I could 'staircase' from 45% to 70% ownership as I'd had a pay rise.

Side story I found out I had a health condition in that year as was suddenly worried about future finances.  I was definitely in fight mode as I'd just come out of a traumatic hospital admission and major surgery. 

DM loaned me the money on quite strict terms (6.5k) to pay off the student loan. Which I did. But I just bounced the money into a credit card.

Then got higher paid job and got finances back on track. Reader, if you are still here, I had 2.4k savings.

Then very close friend had a bereavement. We went on holiday together. Her state of mind was only live once and it rubbed off on me. I think she said to me, what do you need savings for, you should just enjoy life as don't know what is round corner. All true, but me being ADHD and autistic, middle grounds and grey areas are hard.  It was black and white. I was now spending it all once I'd opened the gate on my savings.  I do have some things to show for it, but a lot of it was frittered. 

And here we are. My plan is to read books on budgeting and money.

One thing I did that was a good investment is that I had my colours done professionally. I came out with a palette of about 8 colours that suit me best. It makes shopping an absolute breeze, I can ignore 75% of the shop, there is nothing in my wardrobe that doesn't get worn, there are no gaps, everything goes together, and everything gets worn until it is worn out. I'm content with this side of my presentation. I don't feel 'not ready'. Except when running late haha.

Mostly I buy on Vinted, when I do shop. I valued clothes and style and fashion (DM has always been able to create stylish looks) so found an affordable / sustainable way to embrace it. If I shop, I whizz round which is much less stressful.

Recently I have decluttered and it's made me really think more about what I buy in terms of objects. Do I need it, is it just a gimmick etc.  

I think the theme is what do I value, invest money in what I value etc. 

That was great to write it all out 😅.  Let it wash away and move on.

MissG80

Oh yes forgot the point of writing that all out , was to say that I am moving past this Oh !!!!!! panic.

Currently reading Atomic Habits which is quite interesting.