One final push BPD vs DFW

enthusiasticsaver

Thats fantastic.  Under £20k.  Hopefully you will get a few more discounted F and F settlements to see that debt gone sooner rather than later.  Look after your own mental health as well. 

dragoneye454

enthusiasticsaver said:

Thats fantastic.  Under £20k.  Hopefully you will get a few more discounted F and F settlements to see that debt gone sooner rather than later.  Look after your own mental health as well. 

Thank you. I must admit with the refusal from ACI my mood did swing rapidly to whats the point. But thats one of the things with BPD. It's either black or its white. Feeling better about it this morning and still going to push on. Won't be able to make any big payments for a while now so will be concentrating on low spends and free activities instead

Boss1815

Good afternoon, 
So glad I came across your diary, I totally get the whole mental health spending spiral/dopamine hit, I have anxiety & depression & ADHD and when my depression especially dips then the only thing that makes me feel better is a “spend up” I think spending money as an addiction sometimes the same as people maybe use alcohol/drugs in the same way,
I have been on a DMP with SC for 3 years and the last few months I’ve got into further debt, so yesterday had to swallow my pride and give SC the dreaded phone call, which is now sorted. 

Just want to say I totally get you, & you can do this 💪🏼 

dragoneye454

Boss1815 said:

Good afternoon, 
So glad I came across your diary, I totally get the whole mental health spending spiral/dopamine hit, I have anxiety & depression & ADHD and when my depression especially dips then the only thing that makes me feel better is a “spend up” I think spending money as an addiction sometimes the same as people maybe use alcohol/drugs in the same way,
I have been on a DMP with SC for 3 years and the last few months I’ve got into further debt, so yesterday had to swallow my pride and give SC the dreaded phone call, which is now sorted. 

Just want to say I totally get you, & you can do this 💪🏼 

Thank you for commenting.  Completely relate to that especially with addiction analogy and the guilt you get after a spiral.
Glad you were able to have the strength to update them, hopefully it will help you move forward and you feel lighter now. We got this together.

Boss1815

I do feel much lighter now thank you, I’ve just got to be strong 💪🏼 & stick with it, I’m so determined this time though more then ever before 

ChampagneSupernova36

Evening @dragoneye454

I can  relate to your story so much, I was spending to try and overcompensate for my unhappiness at the time… chasing any hit of dopamine which shopping never really fully hit. I can also relate to really tightening your belt , looking at your budget and seeing that all you can buy are necessities and debt repayments , I found that the hardest bit at the time but incredibly worthwhile. A few months of pain for a lifetime of gain I think the saying goes.

i can tell you , from the other side, that those days of scrimping and funnelling all available funds into the repayments are absolutely worth every second of pain.

i will be following your journey closely and cheering you all 
all the best 
E x

dragoneye454

ChampagneSupernova36 said:

Evening @dragoneye454

I can  relate to your story so much, I was spending to try and overcompensate for my unhappiness at the time… chasing any hit of dopamine which shopping never really fully hit. I can also relate to really tightening your belt , looking at your budget and seeing that all you can buy are necessities and debt repayments , I found that the hardest bit at the time but incredibly worthwhile. A few months of pain for a lifetime of gain I think the saying goes.

i can tell you , from the other side, that those days of scrimping and funnelling all available funds into the repayments are absolutely worth every second of pain.

i will be following your journey closely and cheering you all 
all the best 
E x

Thank you for this. It really helps knowing we aren't alone. 

dragoneye454

Good Morning everyone.

Received two emails yesterday. One from Lendable basically wanting to start from scratch asking why we can't afford the repayments and for our budget. 
All I asked is for them to allow us to set up the payments directly instead of going through Stepchange. What's so hard about that? 
Still wondering whether I should just ignore this email and just let it default and be sold on. What do others think?

The second email was the last small creditor being acquired by a new company and asking for payment, which is great because the only reason we didn't pay this off first is because we couldn't get through on their website without a passcode from correspondence. Unfortunately don't really have the money right now to pay this one off (£164) as we already dug into the emergency fund for the big CARS one.

I may change my mind on this one and steal from other pots but another part of me thinks this is where I learn patience because if I spend everything to pay these off, I will end up in a worse situation with having no money to pay for essentials.

Bit of a ramble today.
Still watching Lisa and Josh on the tubes where their budget for holidays is $100 a day. Definitely have an increasing list of locations and "when we are free" dreams.

dragoneye454

Afternoon all,

Happy Friday.
Feeling pretty flat today and some things have kicked off at work and it's knocked me for six.
Really wanna blow some money and self sooth but ultimately that's not going change anything.

Installed Mistplay this week and earned a £5 voucher already so that's a win and also been weeding the ivy ridden garden which is always good for some agro release.
How beautiful was the weather yesterday and now back to dark and rainy. Good old UK.

Don't actually have any plans for the long weekend though should probably decide something. 
More gardening if it's dry, no idea otherwise.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Boss1815

Honestly I’ve had a shoddy day today with my son, and I’m skint at the moment and that’s making me feel depressed because I can’t just go and splurge to make myself feel better, only sort of credit I have is Clearpay and I’m so tempted (especially after a couple glasses of wine 🍷) to just go online and spend! Send help! 🤣🤣🙈

Great weather here in the east of the country as well.

Have a good weekend xx