advice needed on stroke care provision

markymark10_2

Hello everyone, this is my first post so please forgive me if this is in the wrong forum.

One month ago my mum had a major stroke which has turned her from an active outgoing lady into someone that now is unable to talk & has no feeling in the right hand side of her body.

She is still at community hospital at the moment but is showing no real signs of improvement & the outlook is that she may require care for the rest of her life.

I'm concerned that I may not get a say into what happens to her in the future & that she may be assigned to a care home, she has very little savings but we jointly own a house that she continued to live in with my son when I moved away & I am very worried that social services may attempt to take the house to pay for her ongoing care.

Nothing means more to me than making sure that my mum is cared for but I dont want decisions to be taken out of my hands by the social services. I would be happy to sell the property we jointly own to pay for somewhere that will be suitable for her & closer to me so that I can help care for her but at the moment there seems no chance of me being able to do that as I cant even cancel her direct debits as she is incapable of giving me written permission to do so.

Any help or advice would be appreciated, thanks in advance

harryhound

Hi Mark,

Welcome to MSE.

The brain is a wonderful organ, if the sufferer is really determined, the improvements in the first 6 months can seem miraculous. You and the staff working together may yet see major improvements.

Try putting
"self funding" site:forums.moneysavingexpert.com
into google.
You will find lots of examples of people with the same decisions to make.
Harry.
(If you want to find my pennyworth take the google results and click "search within results" at the bottom of the page and enter: harryhound )

Biggles

To be authorised to make decisions on behalf of your Mum if she lacks 'mental capacity', you will need to apply to the Court of Protection - see http://www.publicguardian.gov.uk/decisions/asking.htm.

Obviously, it may be that, though she is unable to talk, she still has mental capacity and may be able to authorise you to act for her, in which case you should talk to the Office of the Public Guardian.

seven-day-weekend

I don't think they can 'take' the house if it is half yours, especially as your son lives there.

margaretclare

Hello markymark, and commiserations

I think there's a lot of folklore and misinformation around this whole thing of 'they can take your house'. I think you're a long way off that stage yet, and I don't think it's true that anyone will 'assign' your Mum to some care home without talking to you as her next-of-kin. You're the person who knows Mum best and who has intimate and detailed knowledge of the kind of person she is and the kind of things she likes.

I have known people live at home without speech and without use of one arm! Yes, really. I knew a bloke who'd lost speech, he used to communicate by means of a pencil and paper. He also had live-in carers on a rotation basis.

I would agree with what others have said - contact the Court of Protection. I've been told that they are very nice people to talk to, sympathetic and helpful. Your Mum must still have pension money coming in. Don't worry about direct debits being overpaid - as soon as you write to e.g. the power providers they will do a refund to the account the D/D comes out of.

What happens about your son - is he still living there?

Although this is a bad time of year to sell houses, what you suggest might be the best option. Using your/her own money gives you CHOICE. Local authorities are cash-strapped and have no option but to use the cheapest places they can find, which may not be close to you, possibly different local authority area.

Have you had the chance to talk to the physiotherapists, speech therapists etc, who may be able to give you some idea of what recovery is likely?

Very best wishes

Margaret

EdInvestor

Some useful info on the financial side of care and the various allowances you can claim:

https://www.hsbcpensions.co.uk/nhfa/pdfs/is6.pdf

magic57

Hi sorry to hear your mum has had a stroke. Please try to stay positive. A month isn't long and the brain can indeed recover and rewire so to speak. But it can take some time. My dad had a stroke and has lost the use of his right side, but his speech is quite good. A lot of improvement there.Does she have physiotherapy and is she in a stroke rehabilitation unit?
I agree with another poster I don't think the social services can take the house if it is half yours. She may be able to manage with carers in her own home.
Good luck.

chesky369

It's important to get your mum into a stroke rehab unit if your local health care trust runs them. If not, ask to discuss her case not only with her doctor but also the occupational therapist who has been assigned to her. If she has not been assigned one, make strenuous representations that this should happen as soon as possible, since they have huge input in patients' ongoing and long-term treatment.

markymark10_2

I just want to say thank you to all of you for the support & advice given to me over the last few days. Mum is in the community hospital & has been assigned a speech therapist & also physiotherapy, she can communicate with her eyes & facial expressions although as she has dispraxia sometimes it is difficult to know if her expression matches what she is actually thinking.

I still hope that the therapy will instill at least some sort of partial recovery & I will continue to fight to get her the best care available for her.

magic57

I'm glad she is getting some therapy markymark10. Good luck in your fight to get her the best care. Just from my experience with my dad, I suggest keep talking to her. She can probably understand most of what you say even if she cannot communicate much. Also do you have photos of family members/pets you can put by her bed. My dad really enjoyed that. Also he often said no when he really meant yes. It's so frustrating for them. Is she able to eat? My dad lost his swallow reflex for four months but is eating well now.
Keep smiling. I do hope the New Year sees a good recovery for her.

Sarahsaver

Sorry to hear about your Mum. One month on is very early days. I had a stroke in 2001 and i think that i have not 'recovered' so much as become a different person.
She is lucky you are there to stand up for her. I think at least after care is better for more mature people, the assumption with many 'stroke youngsters' like me is that we would just 'get on with it'

Re. therapy get her some playdough and also it is good to play cards for the memory side of things. best wishes, Sarah xxx