Divorce- Should we sell our house or sell my share for much less than its value?

AMartMan

Update- Going to need a bit more help on this. 

Haven’t found out the pension value yet. I haven’t mentioned sharing it yet either. 

We are still living together but she is becoming very hard to live with and somewhat emotionally abusive. It is really making me reconsider our plan and potentially sell the house all together instead.

In the past she threatened me to make my life very hard if I force her to sell. We worked it out, but now she’s getting too confident and emboldened by the situation as she thinks she is coming out as the winner, or perhaps getting her just revenge upon me. 

How do I protect myself here? Should I go with the plan to keep the peace or perhaps get more legal aid? We’re supposed to be using Amicable who won’t help with us in agreeing things and I cannot afford another solicitor/ legal help.

DE_612183

What is the current situation?


Does she still expect you to sell your share for £10k?

What do Amicable think you are both going to do?

Have you told Amicable that you think the £10k deal is not  the one you want?

Malthusian

AMartMan said:

 We’re supposed to be using Amicable who won’t help with us in agreeing things and I cannot afford another solicitor/ legal help.

I would think the clue is in the name. This is not an amicable divorce so it is not their department.

How do you plan to fund your next post-divorce home? I'm aware that £10,000 in your hand would make finding rental properties easier but it won't last very long. 

Until she has provided the CETV you have no idea what a fair split of the marital assets will be. So there is nothing to do except wait. You either live together until she obtains the CETV or you can find a way to afford a separate place now (or sofa-surf) until she obtains the CETV.

If she was serious about divorcing amicably she would already have shown you her last statement showing her current entitlement. Which you could multiply by 20-25x to give you a very rough estimate of how much it might be worth. (20x is the multiplier HMRC once used for the Lifetime Allowance, 25x roughly represents the cost of purchasing an equivalent pension on the open annuity market.) This would not be an actuarial calculation in any sense, but it would tell you how much the pension was worth fighting over.

If one side isn't being transparent about their finances, or is discouraging the other from asking, then it cannot be an amicable divorce.

If she is borrowing money from her brother, she may be able to borrow more to fund an extra £10k. Or you could take a share of her pension in lieu of your share of the house. The latter option would usually be sub-optimal because a CETV from a defined benefit pension is often (not always) worth less than the pension given up; but it's an option. It doesn't sound like selling the house is the only option that results in you taking away a fair share.

We are still living together but she is becoming very hard to live with and somewhat emotionally abusive.

"Abusive" and "threatened" are loaded terms. At the risk of downplaying the situation, living with someone you are engaged in an expensive financial dispute with is never going to be pleasant. It may be fine if the couple are genuinely divorcing amicably, "losing a spouse and gaining a friend", but it doesn't sound like that's the case. I think you need to be clear in your mind about whether you intend to brazen it out until the moment your right to occupy the property comes to an end, or move out earlier even if it is financially difficult.