Need advice re Step son taking out loans and getting into Debt.

MEM62

@rich_shot2003 You step son is an adult and therefore entitled to live his life as he sees fit - even if he is making some pretty big mistakes.  You have done all you can by trying to impart some wisdom but he is not your responsibility and you cannot 'fix' him.    

MattMattMattUK

He is an adult, largely you need to leave him to it. At 18-21 I was not great with money, I ran up debt, I viewed the monthly payments as the bit to worry about, not the total debt. At 22/23 I realised I how much I was paying on interest, how much it was all costing me and decided to do something about it, got a second job, worked 60-80 hours a week and cleared off the debt in under two years. Since then the only debt I have had is my mortgage, I save every month, I have a balanced budget, I am sensible with my personal and business finances. 

Now the thing is, at the time my parents complained about the debt, they moaned at me, my dad got angry etc. but their behaviour if it did anything probably prolonged by indebtedness. I was an adult and regardless of the positives or negatives of me it was my mistake to make, my mistake to learn from and my mistake to find a proper way out of. Their constant interfering and nagging harmed our relationship, their opening of my post "to see what you are doing" lead me to be annoyed with them (at one point I actually put a diversion to a PO Box on my post to stop them). You have a choice when you actively harm your relationship with him, I would urge you to not choose that option. 

rich_shot2003

Many thanks all.

Some good advice given on here.

We will leave his debts to him and see how he goes.

We are always here for him if he gets into trouble with it but it will not stop us worrying about it but as a lot have said on here he will have to learn by his mistakes.

HampshireH

Stop paying his phone bill (it doesn't benefit you and he is a working adult)

If you use Netflix and prime that's for you guys he just benefits. 

He didn't do anything wrong in taking out a loan and not telling you. I think that's really important to acknowledge when you approach this with him.

Have you taught him about money, how to save etc and installed that ethos (I.e. it's not due to lack of knowledge he has been poor with money?)

Personally I would say to him you are aware of his high debts ask if he needs any support (not financial) in managing them and how he intends to clear them. What's his plan.

Ultimately its not your debt and you don't need to be paying things like his phone bill. Get him to do it so he has some ownership