Money Moral Dilemma: Should my son share insurance payout from his mother's hospital stay with her?

IanC9999

Son pays the bill at £200 a month, any refund is the bill payers. 

She probably got to the front of the NHS queue by virtue of a deal with Private provider. If he hadn't added her she'd have had to wait on the NHS anyway.

I loved my mother, and she'd never have considered this her money, I'm staggered a mother would think she should profit from her son's kindness.

Spendless

lewisiablue said:

Firstly the son didn't pay any extra money to add his mother to the policy, secondly, it was the mother who was in hospital and didn't receive the private care she should have received. Lastly, the mother filled out all the paperwork as it was HER claim (not his) and the payout is hers. I do not understand as it was her claim why the insurance didn't pay her directly?

Because she is not the policy holder, her son is and the payments to have this health care come from  him. 

Florafauna

She could've just used the NHS 

primrose_penguin

What a considerate son, to have put his Mum on his private health insurance. He is paying quite a large sum per month for this insurance but I find it difficult to believe he would not get the insurance for less money if he had himself only on it, after all I would think his Mum would be a higher risk than the son, due to the age difference etc. therefore more likely to use the private hospital/insurance. Mum would have been treated in a private hospital if there had been room and therefore this question would not have arisen. Yes Mum made the claim, which is part of the policy, and her son received £1,200, which again is part of the terms of the insurance. However Mum should have peace of mind knowing if she needs future health care her son has it covered for her, and of course his insurance may increase because of this and any future claims. Be grateful that you have a loving son who has included you on his private health insurance, and be glad that he has received some return on all the payments he has made. As I said before if you had been admitted to the private hospital and had treatment no one would have received any insurance payout, but you would have been treated and cared for for no cost, thanks to your son.

bikaga

Adding her didn't cost him anything extra. Unless he wouldn't have taken out the policy if it wasn't for the option to add family members, it seems like he's had a lot of money coming in that he wouldn't have had if he hadn't added her - for free!

It does feel selfish to me to not share, but I don't know his circumstances. If it was my mum, I'd get us a nice weekend away together with all the extras and nice food, and make sure she can enjoy herself after her sickness.

At the very minimum, I think he should refund her the equivalent of his hourly pay for the paperwork she did to get him the money. But morally, I don't think I would feel comfortable giving her less than half.

Kim_13

A claim is bound to increase the cost of policy at renewal, so while he didn’t do the work to make the claim or suffer for the payout, covering her is no longer “free.” He is right to retain part of the payout, but it’s difficult to quantify how much that should be without knowing the renewal cost and how much it would have increased by had no claim been made. 50/50 might be right morally (had he not added her, he would have no pay out, but presumably the mother would value private healthcare going forward above this payout, so she should not push it as it might one day save her life.)

Pollycat

lewisiablue said:

Firstly the son didn't pay any extra money to add his mother to the policy, secondly, it was the mother who was in hospital and didn't receive the private care she should have received. Lastly, the mother filled out all the paperwork as it was HER claim (not his) and the payout is hers. I do not understand as it was her claim why the insurance didn't pay her directly?

Spendless said:

Because she is not the policy holder, her son is and the payments to have this health care come from  him. 

Exactly.

That's why the MMD reads:

His mother made a claim, and after she did all the paperwork, he got a cheque for £1,200. He refuses to give her any of it as he pays for the policy. 

silvercar

gerrag said:

HampshireH said:

gerrag said:

If he was my son, I'd remember his decision when making my Will.

For being kind enough to add her to his private medical policy and for her to be fast tracked via the referral.

She ended up in an NHS hospital but the private referral would absolutely have had her diagnosed and seen quicker than the NHS would have. So she would have benefited from the initial doctors appts etc before admission and a fast track service albeit in an NHS bed.

I'd remember him when making my will too. He didn't have to add her and could have waited on NHS timescales without it. Very kind of him.

Without her, there wouldn't be a him. He's never going to be able to reimburse her for all the sacrifices she will have made for him over the years. 

So much wrong with this! She chose to have a child, the child doesn't owe the parent for that choice. 

Anna2606

Personally I would have expected both mother and son to have fully discussed how the insurance will work if a claim was necessary. The son doesn’t pay a higher premium for adding his mum but mum wouldn’t get cover without the son. The mum should have offered to contribute to the cost which is only fair but the son could be more generous and give his mum some money. 

I have shared insurances with my children but we all pay a share. 

Kijjo

If it were my mother, this wouldn't be a dilemma AT ALL. I loved my mum to bits and would not hesitate to make her life better if I can. Seeing as it's the mother who had to endure 12 days in an NHS hospital where presumably the facilities and environment are less comfortable than those offered by a private hospital. I would definitely, give her half the money. And because she is the one in pain and is recuperating, on top of which she had to do annoying paperwork, I would add an extra £300 on top. So in all, I would be giving her £900.

If I can afford to pay £200/month for insurance, this shouldn't even be a question.