struggling to come to terms with this

tight_jock

baby_balloon wrote: »

can i just add, i read that back and dont want anyone to think i havent tried to make more money.... i have taken on other jobs as well as being a respite carer, im not just sitting on my bum.... 50 hour weeks are the norm for me at the min! erm... thank you.... lol - anyone else think i might be paranoid?!

Rest assured that those who matter will know and respect your efforts to do the best you can.

It takes a special kind of person to do respite.

Oh and BTW I think you may be just a little paranoid......but only a little

:beer:

charlies30

Well done for standing up & admitting that you are not coping, it's sounds dreadful, but you are taking the first steps to get back on track - I know it feels like a long way to go, but I am (hopefully) coming out the other side now (discharge expected Feb 08) & the debts, constant calls, letters etc was making the depression I suffer from so bad that was an ever decreasing spiral as the depression ment I couldn't work, so couldn't pay.
The best moment I have had in the last couple of years, was walking out of court knowing that I was free from that horrible feeling of dread every day

You will get through this & everyone here will be rooting for you - they have been great to me & have always given great help.

Thanks to all on the board, plus as tight jock & sp have both said - you are doing one of THE toughest jobs, don;t put yourself down for that.

Good luck

JulesJay

Sending hugs to you baby and well done for coming on to the boards.

Keep posting and ask any questions you need to.

We are a friendly bunch on here and will help as much as we can.

Off to the land of nod now, but just wanted to pop in and say hello.

Take care sweetie.

Jules x

baby_balloon

hello everyone....how are you all? I have a few questions and ponderings and was wondering what your take on things would be.... any comments would be really gratefully received, thank you in advance!

Well i went to visit my brother and his wife and told them all.... and they were completely lovely and supportive, i honestly couldnt have asked for a better reaction. however, they were trying to come up with alternatives for me to bankrupcy, and my brother sugested taking on a huge loan over a long period of time (say £25k over 12 years) so the payments were low enough for me to manage on. We did a bit of research, and in feb i have a new child to look after so will have an extra £250 a month which i figured i could use soley for my debt. I am aware however that i am being offered a higher interest rate (aprox 13% if i can get it...) and also that the loan would be secured on a property i own with my ex, which we are about to try and sell.

My ex is sometimes extreamly reasonable and at other times a ginormous poo head (arent they all?!) but his current offer is that he is happy for me to secure the loan on the house, but that he would then take on the join acc debt (£1500) and give me £3,500k to buy me out of the property.... am i acting fraudalently by taking out a loan knowing i am going to sell it? what happens to this secured loan if you dont have a house to secure it on any more? Are there other options if i now have a teeeny bit of disposabl income? I am still waiting for my CAB meeting with the specialist, i just wondered what ur thoughts would all be? am i better off just cutting my losses anyway and going down the bankrupcy route?

Thank you for any advice and for listening to my ramblings yet again.... you are all lovely

G-G_4

How much equity is in the house that you are selling with your ex?

Can you not sell the property, get your half of the equity and then use that to pay your debts off?

baby_balloon

there isn't enough equity - i guess i will prob come out with about £5k

tigerfeet2006

BB while you are waiting for your interview with the CAB why don't you ring National Debtline (open 9am-9pm Mon-Fri 9am-1pm Sat) or CCCS (8am-8pm)Their numbers are in my signature. You can never get to much advice is my motto.

baby_balloon

oooh good idea tigerfeet, thank you....i will do that next week. i go into hospital tomorrow to have my tonsils out (eeek!!!!!!) so its kind of put a stop to a lot of things i was going to do. feeling positive in a way tho, what ever happens the support of my family means so much to me. Thank you x