Husband owes £8k to Aqua

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This discussion was created from comments split from: Irresponsible lending complaints.

catsbd

My husband has had an Aqua card for many years. Unbeknown to me they kept raising the limit and now he owes £8,000
How can they have kept raising it to this amount. We’ve been with Step Change in the past and have poor credit history. We are on UCredit as only I work, husband is on PIP for poor mobility and he has mental health issues. He has spoken to Aqua as they wanted an £800 monthly payment. They came to some sort of temporary few months arrangement, but he just shouts at me and won’t discuss it. We’ve been in and out of debt all our married life. We are both in our 60’s and hardly ever get through a month before we run out of money. How how how can they have let the amount get so high. We have 2 dependent adult children at home, our 26 year old has autism and our son 32 has adult ADHD. What can we do? Please help someone. 

sourcrates

catsbd said:

My husband has had an Aqua card for many years. Unbeknown to me they kept raising the limit and now he owes £8,000
How can they have kept raising it to this amount. We’ve been with Step Change in the past and have poor credit history. We are on UCredit as only I work, husband is on PIP for poor mobility and he has mental health issues. He has spoken to Aqua as they wanted an £800 monthly payment. They came to some sort of temporary few months arrangement, but he just shouts at me and won’t discuss it. We’ve been in and out of debt all our married life. We are both in our 60’s and hardly ever get through a month before we run out of money. How how how can they have let the amount get so high. We have 2 dependent adult children at home, our 26 year old has autism and our son 32 has adult ADHD. What can we do? Please help someone. 

I have asked for your post to be moved to a new thread where you can get more specific advice.

MattMattMattUK

catsbd said:

My husband has had an Aqua card for many years. Unbeknown to me they kept raising the limit and now he owes £8,000
How can they have kept raising it to this amount. We’ve been with Step Change in the past and have poor credit history. We are on UCredit as only I work, husband is on PIP for poor mobility and he has mental health issues. He has spoken to Aqua as they wanted an £800 monthly payment. They came to some sort of temporary few months arrangement, but he just shouts at me and won’t discuss it. We’ve been in and out of debt all our married life. We are both in our 60’s and hardly ever get through a month before we run out of money. How how how can they have let the amount get so high. We have 2 dependent adult children at home, our 26 year old has autism and our son 32 has adult ADHD. What can we do? Please help someone. 

I think you should seriously consider marriage counselling as your issues seem to be more than the debt and perhaps the debt is a symptom. They also offer discounted or even free sessions for those with low incomes and/or in financial difficulty. 
https://www.relate.org.uk/
https://www.relate.org.uk/our-fees-explained

With regard to the debt itself they will lend based on the information that they have been given, but £8k is not a particularly high credit limit to have edged up over time. Do you know what the temporary agreement was, was it Breathing Space? 
https://www.stepchange.org/how-we-help/breathing-space-scheme.aspx

Whilst there can be elements of what is called "irresponsible lending" much of it does come down to the individual, the information that they have given the lender and their borrowing choices, you would need to establish what your husband told them about his income at the points when they raised the credit limit and also if they have already applied breathing space, any kind of offer to convert the debt to a loan and close the card and also where the money is going as long term you will need a budget and to be able to stick to it. 

All of that will require you and your husband to be able to have a proper conversation about finances an that is why perhaps Relate could be a good option, people can have a lot of guilt and shame issues when it comes to debt and a neutral, non-judgemental space to be able to discuss that may make things easier. 

EssexHebridean

The straight factual answer to why they've kept increasing the limit is because when they have offered an increase - your husband has accepted I'm afraid. He has then spent to the new limit, so they have offered a further increase, at a guess. Is it reasonable to suggest that his mental health issues may have a bearing here? Indeed - does the question need asking as to whether he actually has full capacity as far as the finances are concerned? 

In terms of the wider picture, have you done a full assessment as to whether you are getting all the benefits and assistance you are entitled to? And have you put together your Statement of Affairs (SOA) to help fully inform your household budget? If not it might be worth doing, as currently you say that you're not making ends meet.