Sisters both executives but not in contact

Fruittea

Hi folks   I'm sure someone is in the same positions as me, My sister and I are not in contact and she has refused to be in contact for the past five years and before that it was touch and go on communications.  My mother is still alive but very elderly she has made my sister and I  joint executives of hers will - which is registered with a local solicitor. 
I would like to ask how we could proceed after she has passed if there is no communication between us.  She lives near the property and I live some distance away.  I would like to finalise any inheritance quickly and without argument -  is there a way I can get things managed through the solicitor and put  some deadlines in place.  I just want to have ideas for a plan to lesson the stress when things happen.  My Mum is in her late 90s and she wants us to -split proceeds between us so any help with preplanning will be appreciated.

Savvy_Sue

The best option would be for your mum to change her will and appoint solicitors as executors. 

Fruittea

Thanks Sue - She wont do that now.  She thinks we will sort it out together and it might bring us both together,  Can I ask the solicitor to proceed and put a deadline on things?

doodling

Hi,

If a discussion with your mum won't prompt her to change her will then it will be a nightmare when she passes away - sorry.

Assuming that the issue is that you and your sister simply do not get on then, other than working through your differences, which you say is unlikely, there are two options:

1. You could jointly appoint a solicitor between you to execute your mum's estate - this would be the most cost effective approach.  To do that you would need to have some limited communication with each other to choose and instruct a solicitor but after that you could just let things happen (although one or other of you will need to provide information to them as required).  If you and your sister start having differences of opinion then they will refuse to act until you agree with each other - they can't have one client (the pair of you) with two opinions.

2. You appoint a solicitor to represent you in your role as executor and let them deal with your sister.  In theory you and your sister never need to talk to each other in this scenario but I think that the appointment would be on your behalf rather than on behalf of the estate so you would need to pay the bill rather than it coming out of the estate before it is distributed to the beneficiaries which would be the case for (1).

Neither option will stop your sister making execution of the estate slow and expensive if she chooses to.

Ayr_Rage

Fruittea said:

Thanks Sue - She wont do that now.  She thinks we will sort it out together and it might bring us both together,  Can I ask the solicitor to proceed and put a deadline on things?

No, you cannot put any deadlines in place, you and your sister need to get your act in gear when the time comes.

Fruittea

Thanks Doodling Good to know,

Savvy_Sue

Just a question, but is it worth trying to re-establish contact with your sister now? Does your mother have a reasonable relationship with her? Do you know what caused the breakdown? 

I know this wouldn't suit everyone, but we have, for example, had extensive conversations with MIL about her funeral, after she was told she might not have long to live. She's actually hanging on far longer than expected, but we still touch base about it from time to time. One outstanding action is checking that BIL is now the owner of her 'plot' where she wants to go, which her parents are already in, only her late mother was still listed as owner! 

Do you know what Mum wants in terms of cremation / burial etc? would discussing it with both of you be a help to her? If nothing else, it might help her realise that there isn't going to be a magical rapprochement after she dies.