Here we go again!

MrsSave

Hi. I have been on this forum for many years. Finally became debt free in February 2018 but unfortunately have found myself back in debt again. I have many excuses as to why this has happened, mainly my mental health. When I’m not in a great place I spend impulsively, as well as drink too much and eat too much. Since the beginning of May 2023 I have accumulated a debt of just over £5k, have gained 21 pounds and have had too many bottles of wine. I started on antidepressants around that time, which needed to be increased so it has taken a while for everything to settle.

My mental health has improved, but only as long as I look after myself. If I eat the wrong things, drink too much, don’t move enough or don’t sleep enough things start to spiral quickly. 

So, what have I spent this money on? Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t have any ‘big’ new items to show for it. I am a huge lover of books so have bought far too many of them, I did get a dog (I had been thinking about it for a couple of years and it is truly one of the best things I’ve done), but he was a rescue so I didn’t spend a huge amount of money getting him (though yes, the things he needed were a little costly). He is amazing for my mental health, he makes me go out walking every day, and I have company when I’m working from home (he’s never far away from me). I have spent on clothes for me and the boys, and just general stuff I guess. 

I have spoken with my partner and he is fully aware of the fact I am in debt (and knows I have had debt previously). He is supportive.

During January I have spent more than I should again and haven’t been sticking to budget brilliantly. I am changing that starting from now. Today is payday. I have budgeted in a slightly different way which I hope is more realistic. I have during the past few months tried cash envelopes but they just didn’t work for me. 

I don’t want this first post to go on too long so will finish it here and come back later to talk about my budget and how I’m going to get rid of this debt without my children missing out.

MrsSave

Today is my third no spend day of this week. I came close to breaking that today. A new Thai delivery place has started locally, and I absolutely love Thai food. I added a few different things into my online basket for delivery later, but cancelled out of the page at the payment stage. I have £20 for unbudgeted personal spends this month, today is only the first of February, and with everything I added to the basket it came to more. I do have a night out budgeted for Saturday night. I’ve not been well this week so if I feel well enough to go I might drive so will only be paying for food and a couple of soft drinks. If I have enough money left from Saturday night, I will use that for a Thai takeaway at a later date during the month. 

I have also amended my food basket for next Monday’s delivery. I drink loads of a certain soft drink, so have taken that out and replaced it with fizzy water which is far cheaper. My boys are also loving jelly at the moment and I’ve been buying the little pots which are expensive. I’m going to make my own next week and just look for reusable pots to make it in. That should save quite a bit too.

MrsSave

I have joined the February No Spend Challenge this evening with a goal of 10 days. I was looking to join other challenges too, but I knew I was being too impulsive signing up for many things and would end up achieving nothing. I am cutting down on alcohol starting from this month too and I’m hoping by starting with an achievable target it will mean lots of success in the long term. I’m aiming for 20 alcohol free days during February. Tomorrow I aim to have a good sort out of my freezer and food cupboards (the fridge isn’t bad) to see what food I actually have in so that I can use that up instead of buying more.

01/02/24 - NSD 1/10
                  AFD 1/20

MrsSave

I have sorted through the freezer today. It is far more organised and I can see what I actually have now. It seems lots of packets with just 1 item in them (things tend to come in packs of 4, and there’s 3 of us). I’ve added a freezer food night one evening next week so we can all pick something. That’ll remove 3 packets from the freezer then. I have lots of things for my lunches (I love having things like marinated meat, roasted veg and rice for lunch. I prepare it in the air fryer which is easy, and it is nutritious and keeps me full). I have dedicated one of my freezer drawers to my lunches and removed a couple of bits I had added to next week’s delivery. The ‘family’ meat drawer is emptier than I expected, but I did find a packet of diced beef so will make a stew/casserole in the slow cooker with that next week. My delivery for Monday is currently under £50 so I either need to add a couple of other bits to save the £5 charge, or cancel it and do a click and collect/supermarket visit instead. The nearest supermarket (other than an expensive one) is around a 25 minute round trip away. I’ll have a think about it.

Today is likely to be another nsd. Tonight’s dinner is in the fridge, and I have no plans to go anywhere for the rest of the day.

foxgloves

Hello @MrsSave - It sounds as though your head is really getting in the right space to do this. When we first started debt-busting, we found meal planning to be one of the most useful tools. We are now both debt & mortgage-free, but we still meal plan & keep up our money-saving habits as we are finally getting some savings in place. I think your idea to have a freezer-dive night planned in each week to use up all those useful odds & ends in your freezer is sound. We do that too - every week or two, we plan in a jacket potato night & we choose our toppings based on what we've got in, as long as it isn't something already allocated to another meal. For this week's, my husband chose a container of leftover roast dinner for his jacket potato! Although there are two of us, I will still freeze a spare single portion of something, as it can always be used to top a jacket or taken to work for a microwaveable lunch.
The other big improvement to our finances from meal planning was that it cut out that well-known leaker of money - the evil top-up shop! You know, you go in for yoghurt & a cucumber & end up spending £20 to £30. 
Anyway, good idea to start a diary as you get back into good habits & return to bring debt-free.
Good luck!
F

MrsSave

Thank you @foxgloves I am actually pretty good at meal planning, I have done it for years (I probably started on my original debt free journey 10 years ago and have never stopped). I just tend to do it without checking my cupboards first so end up buying things that I already have in, or not using up what I have. I like the idea of a jacket potato night though using different things you have in for toppings.

I don’t tend to do top up shops either. If we do run out of something such as milk, I send my eldest to the local shop with enough change just to buy that. It is quite a new thing sending him, and he feels very grown up doing it If I do go myself it does tend to be for a bottle of wine, which is a habit I’m working on breaking.

Today is my second no spend day of February, though I have had a drink today. I had some bubbly left over from a recent ‘big’ birthday so decided to open it as it’s Friday night and I haven’t felt great all week.

02/02/24 - NSD 2/10
                  AFD 1/20

foxgloves

It sounds as though you are halfway there with your meal plans. It's amazing how many choices are often lying around which could top a jacket potato. This week I could just have had butter & had a separate bowl of home.made soup with it, or cheese, beans, cheese & beans, tuna mayo, tuna melt (one of my go-to favourites), low-fat cream cheese with salad & avocado, cheese with carrot & pumpkin seed mayonnaise or a leftover portion of several different things from the freezer. It defo makes for a cheapo use-it-up dinner on the meal plan, anyway.
When you write your shopping list, it is well worth checking stores for each item. Even now, when I am sure I know what I've got in stock, I still find I can cross off at least a couple, sometimes more items. If bread flour, crackers & peanut butter will defo last another week, then the £6 or so these will cost can be used for items needed right now. I do like to have good stocks in at home, but find I need to get the right balance so that we don't overspend our monthly grocery budget.
I think your method of avoiding top-up shops by sending your son out with the correct money is sound....& double beneficial as no wine bought!
F

MrsSave

Today has been a day of catching up with laundry, which means tomorrow I will have to put it all away. I hate that job! I was meant to have a night out tonight but it has been cancelled so that means today has been my third NSD of February. It is also my second AFD day of February too. To not spend money or drink alcohol on a Saturday is a huge thing for me. I’m home alone, and usually that means a takeaway and a drink or two or even just popping to the shop to see what I fancy eating (which usually includes snacks). Instead, I’ve eaten food that I already had in. Tomorrow I also need to finalise the food order ready for Monday’s delivery so will have another look through the cupboards to see what I need/what I have.

03/02/24 - NSD 3/10
                  AFD 2/20

MrsSave

Yesterday was my 4th NSD of February. I took my dog on a long walk over to my mum’s and spent the afternoon with her. We did share a bottle of wine so it wasn’t an AFD but I should add quite a few more to the list now that it’s Monday again. I have paid £15 off my debt today which isn’t a massive amount but hopefully chipping away at it will reduce it quickly. I have my food delivery today (if I don’t spend anything else I will count it as a NSD though if I do any top ups during the week they will be spend days) and that came around £17.50 under budget. I have kept the £2.50 in my food pot in case we need more milk and the rest is the money i sent to the debt.

04/02/24 - NSD 4/10
                  AFD 2/20

in_need_of_direction

A few more of those not very big payments will get you under £5k.  Stick with it, you’re doing great.

MrsSave

Today has been a successful-ish day. It hasn’t been a NSD as my youngest came out of school with a hole in his school trousers. Instead of buying new trousers (which is what I would usually do) I have ordered some iron on patches. I know they won’t look quite as good, but they’ll be fine for a while. I spent £5.99 there. 

I had been saving for a ‘big’ holiday with the boys. They were fully aware of it and very excited. It was going to be a very expensive holiday. I had some put aside for it, but the rate I was saving it would take years to reach our goal. I spoke with the boys this evening, explained about how long it would take, about income and expenses, and discussed with them our options. We could save hard for years to go on this holiday, but not have any others in the meantime. Or, we could shelve the idea for now, and see more of the world. Have far cheaper breaks every year, or every other year. They were both very sensible and agreed that shelving the big holiday was the best idea, and then they went googling for ideas of which cities in the world we can visit (we are not laze by the pool people, we much prefer to be on the go). 

I split the money I had already saved and added some to my emergency fund, sent some over to the debt, and put the rest in my holiday pot for a break this summer for us. I know it is suggested that people don’t holiday when paying off debt, but I want the boys to experience things whilst they’re still young. As long as I am overpaying the debt as well as saving for holidays, I will continue to do it this way. I have now paid £254.50 off my debt since the start of January, with my dd going out on Wednesday for my normal payment. I now have the debt under £5k too!

Oh, and today has been an AFD

05/02/24 - NSD 4/10
                  AFD 3/20