Young widows with children…

Caramelcustard

Hi,
I’ve been widowed a couple of years. I’m in my 30’s with two primary school aged children. We received the bereavement support benefits after my husband died for 18 months then that was it. 

I was fortunate to have life insurance cover which gave me some rainy day savings and uni education funds for children which does mean we are not entitled to universal credit etc. 

I work pretty much full time so we can do the basics - eat, childcare and a have the luxury of a basic holiday in the summer etc. 
Had he died prior to 2017 we’d get widow support payments of around £140 a week until children reached 18yo. 

Had we got divorced and he quit his job etc and was on the basic benefits we would still be entitled to a few £ a week. 

It seems absolutely bonkers that we are left to fend for ourselves week by week. 

Even the Americans get survivors benefits which support their widows and families and they normally suck at things like this! 

What are we doing wrong? I don’t want to have to spend our saving for our future on the food or water bill. Surely we should be entitled to something. 

Any help would be appreciated. 

mark_cycling00

You can put the savings for university into JISAs and that won't count as savings in your UC claim. 

However that is a very big decision to make as the money can't be touched until children are age 18 and it belongs to them. You'd need to research it fully. 

I agree it's a rubbish situation. 

Keep_pedalling

mark_cycling00 said:

You can put the savings for university into JISAs and that won't count as savings in your UC claim. 

However that is a very big decision to make as the money can't be touched until children are age 18 and it belongs to them. You'd need to research it fully. 

I agree it's a rubbish situation. 

Although children’s savings in JISAs don’t count for UC, moving large amounts into them just before applying may be seen as deprivation of assets. It could also go horrible wrong as the children will have total control from 18, and you may also need access some of the money for emergencies well before that.

This is a horrible situation to be in, but I think you might getter better advice over on the benefits board.

pjs493

Im in a similar situation. Unexpectedly widowed with two small children last year. I’m sorry for your loss, I know what you are going through. 

Did your husband have a work place pension? I’m in receipt of a pension annuity from my husband’s workplace scheme which I’ll receive for life. Our children also receive a pension until they finish formal education or turn 23, whichever comes first.  

Like you, I’m not eligible for any benefits other than the Bereavement Support Payment and Child Benefit. 

I’m currently on compassionate leave, but I’m struggling to find childcare for when I return. I can’t find a part time nanny and nurseries are too expensive due to minimum number of sessions they require as a commitment. I don’t qualify for the free hours because my income sources aren’t the right sort of income. I don’t earn a salary but have a research stipend instead. This doesn’t count, nor does my pension, nor does rental income I receive.

 I also earn too much and have too much in savings to qualify for free childcare based on low income. I literally fall between all the cracks and will likely have to extend my compassionate leave until my eldest turns three and can get 15 hours of childcare. Then juggle working from home with my one year old. 

Spendless

The savings for Uni was that a condition of the life insurance policy or a wish of your husband's or a decision you've made?

I'm asking because maybe if you are able to then that money currently ear-marked for Uni education might be better off supporting all 3 of you now. Your children might not go to Uni and instead into work, do a degree apprenticeship (where their employer pays) live at home whilst attending a local Uni and not have any/as many  costs associated.

In addition they would be able to access loans which are only paid back when they are earning x amount and only at a certain %. How much they can borrow for maintenance depends on the household income of where they live so would be you plus any live in partner/spouse you had.  So quite possibly you'd need some eg my DD currently receives £6k her rent is £10k alone, so in that scenario you'd def need some, if DD just lived with me she'd receive the full maintenance loan and could manage without a parental top up.

I'd look into this aspect and take some financial advice - asking how can you give some money to children at 18+ without compromising your standard of living as you fetch them up alone.