Will for my parents - help and advice

dommy27

Hi there, 

It would be great to ask for some advice please. 

After numerous years of trying to bring up the subject of my parents doing a will, I’m struggling to get any sort of traction. My parents are 70 and 69, my dad still works full time and mum works part time. Both have had health issues in the past, my dad more serious. I’m 42, I have a brother who is 39 and a sister who is 32. My parents aren’t very financially savvy and due them taking out money from the house many years ago, they still have a mortgage (I believe around £50k) but their house is valued around £425k.

The reason I’ve tried to bring the subject of getting a will before is my mum’s parents died years ago without making a will and it took her and her two sisters many years to get everything sorted. Myself and my two siblings are all married with children so the reason I’ve brought up the subject is purely just to get things sorted legally. Of course, I don’t want my parents to die but unfortunately due to their age, their health issues and their current lifestyle, I have to face the fact they won’t be around forever. They are both very stubborn and I fear they will leave a bit of a financial mess which concerns me, however they are very reluctant on doing a will. 

I’m reaching out to anyone here to see if someone can give me good, sound advice and even some examples of what would happen if and when the inevitable happens without the proper legalities in place. 

Many thanks for reading this.

elsien

If they’re happy with the estate being left in line with the interstacy rules not having a will isn’t such a massive issue. How is the house owned in one person’s name or a both? If both, joint tenants or tenants in common?
if all the accounts et cetera a joint, then most of it will go to the surviving spouse anyway. Do they have life insurance in place to cover the mortgage gap if one of them goes first? 

Do you know what the issues were with mum’s parents estate that made it take so long because that isn’t necessarily the norm.

I would suggest that if they haven’t already done so a power-of-attorney would be a priority before making a will. That will cause far more issues if someone loses capacity than someone managing a fairly simple estate. 

dommy27

elsien said:

If they’re happy with the estate being left in line with the interstacy rules not having a will isn’t such a massive issue. How is the house owned in one person’s name or a both? If both, joint tenants or tenants in common?
if all the accounts et cetera a joint, then most of it will go to the surviving spouse anyway. Do they have life insurance in place to cover the mortgage gap if one of them goes first? 

Do you know what the issues were with mum’s parents estate that made it take so long because that isn’t necessarily the norm.

I would suggest that if they haven’t already done so a power-of-attorney would be a priority before making a will. That will cause far more issues if someone loses capacity than someone managing a fairly simple estate. 

I believe both names are on the deeds. My parents aren’t great at sharing information I’m afraid but my assumption is that they are joint owners. 

I’m fairly certain they do not have life insurance. 

Regarding my mum’s parent’s house, when my grandfather passed away, my grandmother had a serious stroke a month later and couldn’t speak/write. She was like that until she died 17 years later so I believe that was the main reason why the situation became very complicated. It took a few years after she died to sell her house.

I have spoken to my parents about a power of attorney, but again it’s falling on deaf ears as my parents don’t seem to be very motivated in doing anything about it.

bompey

My in-laws are much the same albeit they have wills but they were prepared in the 1980s. We suggested having new Wills as the executors are not capable of handling their estate but their starting point was solicitors would just try and milk them for money and that they already had wills. 

Your best angle is to appeal that having Wills will make your life, and that of your siblings, much easier to close out their affairs at a time when you are grieving. And it is responsible sensible thing to do. Some people just prefer to bury their heads on matters like these so you will likely have a battle. Good luck.

dommy27

bompey said:

My in-laws are much the same albeit they have wills but they were prepared in the 1980s. We suggested having new Wills as the executors are not capable of handling their estate but their starting point was solicitors would just try and milk them for money and that they already had wills. 

Your best angle is to appeal that having Wills will make your life, and that of your siblings, much easier to close out their affairs at a time when you are grieving. And it is responsible sensible thing to do. Some people just prefer to bury their heads on matters like these so you will likely have a battle. Good luck.

Thanks! It is very frustrating, especially as my mum had to go through quite a bit of mess when her parents died. I’ve tried to send my mum links, even showed her relevant videos from Martin himself, but it normally ends with “leave it with me, don’t worry”. 

Fully appreciate it’s not a nice subject to discuss, but it would be a load off everyone’s minds if it was sorted. 

Marcon

dommy27 said:

elsien said:

If they’re happy with the estate being left in line with the interstacy rules not having a will isn’t such a massive issue. How is the house owned in one person’s name or a both? If both, joint tenants or tenants in common?
if all the accounts et cetera a joint, then most of it will go to the surviving spouse anyway. Do they have life insurance in place to cover the mortgage gap if one of them goes first? 

Do you know what the issues were with mum’s parents estate that made it take so long because that isn’t necessarily the norm.

I would suggest that if they haven’t already done so a power-of-attorney would be a priority before making a will. That will cause far more issues if someone loses capacity than someone managing a fairly simple estate. 

I believe both names are on the deeds. My parents aren’t great at sharing information I’m afraid but my assumption is that they are joint owners. 

Easy enough to check via the Land Registry.

dommy27 said:

I’m fairly certain they do not have life insurance. 

If they're working they may well have life cover through their respective employers.

I have spoken to my parents about a power of attorney, but again it’s falling on deaf ears as my parents don’t seem to be very motivated in doing anything about it.

It is your parents' decision, and if they don't want to do it, I'm afraid however sensible it would be to have both wills and POA, you have to accept that's what they want. Some people simply don't want to consider their own mortality.

ClaretHead

@Marcon   They may not have life cover through their employers - I carried on working past retirement age, and HR told me that my 4 times annual salary death benefit only applied up to my 65th birthday.

dommy27

Marcon said:

dommy27 said:

elsien said:

If they’re happy with the estate being left in line with the interstacy rules not having a will isn’t such a massive issue. How is the house owned in one person’s name or a both? If both, joint tenants or tenants in common?
if all the accounts et cetera a joint, then most of it will go to the surviving spouse anyway. Do they have life insurance in place to cover the mortgage gap if one of them goes first? 

Do you know what the issues were with mum’s parents estate that made it take so long because that isn’t necessarily the norm.

I would suggest that if they haven’t already done so a power-of-attorney would be a priority before making a will. That will cause far more issues if someone loses capacity than someone managing a fairly simple estate. 

I believe both names are on the deeds. My parents aren’t great at sharing information I’m afraid but my assumption is that they are joint owners. 

Easy enough to check via the Land Registry.

dommy27 said:

I’m fairly certain they do not have life insurance. 

If they're working they may well have life cover through their respective employers.

I have spoken to my parents about a power of attorney, but again it’s falling on deaf ears as my parents don’t seem to be very motivated in doing anything about it.

It is your parents' decision, and if they don't want to do it, I'm afraid however sensible it would be to have both wills and POA, you have to accept that's what they want. Some people simply don't want to consider their own mortality.

My dad’s employers I doubt would have life insurance, same would go for my mum. 

And I agree, it is my parents decision at the end of the day. Still doesn’t make it right that they won’t consider options, but that’s just the situation. 

elsien

My mother did appreciate the need for a power-of-attorney but she still  didn’t do anything about it for about 18 months.
In the end, I just downloaded a blank copy and gave it to her to look at in her own time so she could think about what she wanted and what she didn’t want and discuss if she wanted to. Then we did it online, which was quite straightforwarda and didn’t need a solicitor. Just in case that’s another concern of theirs. 

You can’t force them – if it’s a money issue, then tell them it’s a heck of a sight cheaper than going to the court of protection, which would be the alternative. If it’s a loss of control issue, then you can reassure them that while they have capacity, no one can do anything with it without their consent.

If it’s motivation  (and with your mum already having seen the consequences of nothing being in place), other than doing yours yourself so she can see it’s not just because they’re getting old,  that could help. But you might have to resign yourself to them being people who just don’t want to go there for whatever reason.

thegreenone

I would second getting details of the deeds to see who the equity release co. is, would be a start.

lr1277

If you are not aware, there are two types of Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA): health and welfare and then finance and property.

The health and welfare one will only be called upon if the donor (your parent) has lost capacity Until then they can make their own decisions. Also just because your parents are married, and there is no LPA in place, does not mean medical staff will take into account the views of one spouse regarding the other spouse.

We also completed a number of Do Not Resuscitate orders. Before doing that you need to have the discussion with each parent. If memory serves, if things looked bad, ambulance/medical staff asked about the parent's attitude to DNR.

The finance and property LPA can be registered and used at any time, even whilst the donor has capacity. Say your parent finds finances difficult, they could ask an attorney to act on their behalf. Remember to register the LPA with finance and utilities once you have it. Otherwise you will not be able to act on your parent's behalf. And registration is not always instant.

Edited to add: if acting on your parent's behalf, you need to have their consent for each of your actions.

HTH

Sorry I didn't answer your original question. In my case my parents made a will in the mid 2000's which included the setting up of trusts. With the changes made by the Chancellor in 2016 trusts were no longer tax efficient. I made the argument to my parents that it would be more tax efficient (and easier for me) if they wrote new wills making everything out to each other. They eventually agreed to this point of view.

My dad had already been diagnosed with a form of dementia, but it hadn't affected him too much. So we met with the soliticitor who agreed to write the new wills.